Hello World:
Well it's the new year! And i know people always come out with resolutions and stuff! Weight loss, better attitude or just the "This is my year" statement! LOL!
I always pop up with the "better attitude" statement. I usually make a HUGE statement about what i'm going to do and be positive and a WHOLE bunch of stuff. You don't believe me? Checkout my early 2013 posts. LOL! Yep I was determined to be positive all throughout the year I was determined...yup but still making not so smart decisions....and by the latter part of 2013, I could tell shit might not be good at some point.
WELL guess what? 2014 is around the corner and to my naked eye, shit ain't looking good!! Now on one side, I have recorded a couple of songs...but i didn't do ANY open mic performances. I never got the courage. At one point, i took a few voice lessons but couldn't continue them due to lack of $$. I even did a few audio engineer type sessions but it was an hour away and so due to distance that didn't continue. I'm sure dude will contact me again soon, I have his microphone. He let me use it to record songs. I even did a voice workshop with one of the industry's baddest vocalist, Keisha Jackson. Yup daughter of Millie Jackson and a sanging beast in her own right. Yup, I did but uuuh that didn't go anywhere. I did join a church and celebrated a year there. I'm part of the Media Ministry. I don't study the equipment like I need to since I'm no longer at school...oh yes, I didn't mention that part. I found out that I no longer have student loan $$ available for school, so my journey at Ga State in the Film and Video program is definitely on pause, could be permanent pause. I'm not sure but i DO know that I now have to start paying back loans..for me it's waaaay ahead of schedule. On top of that the 9 to 5 that has been part of Atlanta life since my move here is starting to bore me. Have I told 'em yet? Yep, kinda. So 2014 may also include a job change. I'm slipping on taking care of my vehicle. And it's not even major stuff, just need to get the front brakes done and get a couple of new tires. I did some research this last week and front & back brakes (with a mechanic putting own) plus two tires would cost me about $200. An amount I'd easily have had I not gotten back into the payday loan rat race. Oh I didn't mention that yet did I? Yep, like I said shit ain't looking good for me.
One good thing, I took my love for food review to a different level. I now have a logo and food blog for my company Eat and Drink With Me. Consumers can get to it via social media (FB, Twitter, Instagram) and I'm launching the official website 1-1-14. I'm still working out how to get paid for reviewing food. LOL. Paying for it out of the pocket isn't going to work for too much longer. So I do have at least one ray of sunshine in my life..something that I haven't messed up.
I often wonder if I'd had a kid by now, if that would have forced me to do better since someone else's life was depending on me. I'm not sure. Sometimes I think "yes" sometimes "no". Since I haven't one yet (at 41) I couldn't tell ya. I do know one thing, at 41, $$ definitely ain't like it should be. Hell my life isn't anything like I'd planned. I used to dream in color and literally I was singing with some group that I could never figure out who they were, but the harmony was so beautiful....I haven't had that type of dream in a long time! I think it's finally too late.
You see the title of my post? Yep that's where I am now. I'm going to keep pushing forward but to my naked eye shit don't look good. But because there is still a part of me that has mustard seed faith, I don't think I'll ever "end it all" and that little part of me also just keeps pushing forward. Hope resides there. Faith resides there. Just that lil glimmer is there. And that part of me is saying "We gon' see". We gon' see, we gon' see, oh wait that's some country slang. We are going to see what happens, we are going to see what happens, we are going to see what happens. There is still a special someone in my life but uuuuh with my decision-making skills being the way that they are, it's very possible that he'll back away slowly. It's been 7 months and now comes the getting to see the real person part of it. He may not like the real me...hell I may not like what I find out about him. But as the title of my post says We gon' see!
Normally I have a positive ending to inspire YOU (the reader) but that's not going to happen this time. I can tell you Happy Kwanzaa and that today's celebration point is:
Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.
Hmmmmm maybe I did just uplift. If not you, definitely myself. I am going to try my damndest to keep it together for 2014. To make the right decisions and be a better Me. (oops i did it!) LOL! But I'm serious though. Do you ever have those moments where you see yourself making a decision and part of you is saying "uuuh you're going to regret this later..." and then you do regret it later. Yup. Those moments...I've had them a lot!
I need you Father, I need you in my life, in my spiritual ear at all times! Lord I need you to guide me in the right direction! In Jesus name, amen!
Ok this is it! Oh speaking of "This Is It" - I will be doing a food review at This Is It BBQ and Seafood - Campcreek location for New Years! Feel free to join me on that #dineandreview adventure! ;-) (see how quick i came out of that funk?) LOL! And that's what I'm talking about. I think about all of the crazy ass decisions I've made and start getting depressed and then I remind myself of the positive decisions I've made and life looks better. I don't know. I do know that I've set some things in motion that may not have the greatest turn out so uuum just stay tuned to what the hayal is about to happen in my world. LOL..but not really if you know what I mean. Oh I didn't even get started on my crazy family and what they are doing or should I say not doing about the land that my grandparents left "us". I tell ya what, money or the lack thereof, brings out the best in people. Geesh! O_o
Thank you for entertaining "Hello World".
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
I wish.....
Hello World:
Craziness:
I wish I was that girl that used my common sense back in the day to make better choices...I wish I was that girl that didn't get stuck in crazy ruts and feeling like I was in the movie "Groundhog Day"...I wish I was that girl that took advantage of the great and exciting opportunities that have been presented to me....I wish I wasn't going to be that woman that spoke about "could-a", "should-a", would-a"...but alas as I look at my upcoming 42nd birthday in a few months, it looks like I am. I did not take advantage of the time given me to do the very best I could. My life has been mediocre at best. Yes. I have been blessed to be around people who are actively "doing it" that keep me encouraged but I haven't truly stepped out on faith and used my talents. My singing voice has dwindled and my spirit is fading....ever so slowly. I continuously put myself into crazy financial situations...almost like a constant self-sabotage. I continuously fight against this demon by speaking prosperity and faith and happiness in the universe and I don't let myself wallow in any type of pity BUT the truth is the truth...I have NOT done well with the gift of life that the Lord has given me. I think I even allow myself to be taken advantage of by people even though I know from the beginning that they don't mean well simply out of punishment. Some part of me feels like I don't deserve a full blown happiness. How crazy is that? I'm not sure why that is or where it came from...but it's there. *shrug*
Happiness:
I'm loving hanging out with "Mr. Man"...I'm currently working on a food blog - eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com ....it's starting off great! I'm excited about it. I'm working on the official website, I have my logo. I'm doing three things I like...be around people, eat and tell people about it. LOL! I grew up painfully shy but I love to be around people and events. How oxymoronish is that?? (yup new word) I feel like two different people..one that wants to be happy and stable and one that is on a mission of self-rampage. (hashtag) crazy.
Moral of this story:
Continue to work on doing the right thing....pay your bills on time...pay your tithes...be nice to people...smile and the world will smile with you..tell yourself how great you are versus how less than...and don't trust anyone that your spirit tells you not to trust aka don't be naive...never trust people that over-encourage; why? they are up to something. Yup. There are folks out there that will take you for EVERYthing you have, even if it's not that much. sad but true. Encourage yourself. As you end this read, click here to be further blessed on this day!
Peace be with you....peace be multiplied...
Nissa Kaye...
Craziness:
I wish I was that girl that used my common sense back in the day to make better choices...I wish I was that girl that didn't get stuck in crazy ruts and feeling like I was in the movie "Groundhog Day"...I wish I was that girl that took advantage of the great and exciting opportunities that have been presented to me....I wish I wasn't going to be that woman that spoke about "could-a", "should-a", would-a"...but alas as I look at my upcoming 42nd birthday in a few months, it looks like I am. I did not take advantage of the time given me to do the very best I could. My life has been mediocre at best. Yes. I have been blessed to be around people who are actively "doing it" that keep me encouraged but I haven't truly stepped out on faith and used my talents. My singing voice has dwindled and my spirit is fading....ever so slowly. I continuously put myself into crazy financial situations...almost like a constant self-sabotage. I continuously fight against this demon by speaking prosperity and faith and happiness in the universe and I don't let myself wallow in any type of pity BUT the truth is the truth...I have NOT done well with the gift of life that the Lord has given me. I think I even allow myself to be taken advantage of by people even though I know from the beginning that they don't mean well simply out of punishment. Some part of me feels like I don't deserve a full blown happiness. How crazy is that? I'm not sure why that is or where it came from...but it's there. *shrug*
Happiness:
I'm loving hanging out with "Mr. Man"...I'm currently working on a food blog - eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com ....it's starting off great! I'm excited about it. I'm working on the official website, I have my logo. I'm doing three things I like...be around people, eat and tell people about it. LOL! I grew up painfully shy but I love to be around people and events. How oxymoronish is that?? (yup new word) I feel like two different people..one that wants to be happy and stable and one that is on a mission of self-rampage. (hashtag) crazy.
Moral of this story:
Continue to work on doing the right thing....pay your bills on time...pay your tithes...be nice to people...smile and the world will smile with you..tell yourself how great you are versus how less than...and don't trust anyone that your spirit tells you not to trust aka don't be naive...never trust people that over-encourage; why? they are up to something. Yup. There are folks out there that will take you for EVERYthing you have, even if it's not that much. sad but true. Encourage yourself. As you end this read, click here to be further blessed on this day!
Peace be with you....peace be multiplied...
Nissa Kaye...
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Home for the Holidays...
Hello World!!
I went home for the Thanksgiving holidays and I had a blast!! My original plan was to drive through my home state and visit with my mom and sissies and the rebels and then proceed further north to visit with more family. But I got to my mama's house and my body said otherwise. LOL! And I took heed. We had a great time! My little people brought that extra joy as only they can and then I sent them home to their parents when it was time. LOL! We even did a family movie! We went to see Frozen, I didn't think I'd like it but it was really cool!
This one is going to be short and sweet because it was a cool time at home. I ate but not as much as I thought I would. My Nanny cooked all of the Thanksgiving faves (sweet potate pie, chess pie, pecan pie, seafood dressing, fried turkey, ham, boiled shrimp, mac and cheese) i think that's it. The only thing missing was the chocolate pecan pie. Loved it! I got to see my highschool football team win a playoff game, really cool!
I drove so I was able to do my fave stop in Mississippi...along highway 90 along the coastal waters. just beautiful! I love that part.
What's the moral of this story? No matter what, there's no place like home. ;-D
I went home for the Thanksgiving holidays and I had a blast!! My original plan was to drive through my home state and visit with my mom and sissies and the rebels and then proceed further north to visit with more family. But I got to my mama's house and my body said otherwise. LOL! And I took heed. We had a great time! My little people brought that extra joy as only they can and then I sent them home to their parents when it was time. LOL! We even did a family movie! We went to see Frozen, I didn't think I'd like it but it was really cool!
This one is going to be short and sweet because it was a cool time at home. I ate but not as much as I thought I would. My Nanny cooked all of the Thanksgiving faves (sweet potate pie, chess pie, pecan pie, seafood dressing, fried turkey, ham, boiled shrimp, mac and cheese) i think that's it. The only thing missing was the chocolate pecan pie. Loved it! I got to see my highschool football team win a playoff game, really cool!
I drove so I was able to do my fave stop in Mississippi...along highway 90 along the coastal waters. just beautiful! I love that part.
What's the moral of this story? No matter what, there's no place like home. ;-D
Sunday, November 17, 2013
A change gone come...
Hello World!!
Whew!! A lot has happened and I have not been able to get to my blog page.
I thought my "bullshit" radar was working but apparently I still have a soft naive heart when it comes to people. I don't have it in my heart to use people so I choose to believe that people act the same way. Welp! I got "GOT" as we say via slang. What was supposed to be a short 2 weeks turned into over a month stay. Several broken $$ promises to this day, still nothing close to what was to be paid. Why would you promise to pay by a certain date if you know you don't really have it. Why even offer? Now I know how vendors feel when we don't pay on time. O_o And at this point not trying to be friends. Hey, I'm not a full asshole so if you say "hi" I'll speak back, I was raised old school southern and in that same aspect you show me your ass one time and you have just subtracted yourself out of my personal space. While I didn't really expect the $$ it would've been nice to have for my Thanksgiving travels..just a lil extra to have. I guess as a Believer, i should pray that they are overly successful and all monies are received. It's not that I'm praying bad stuff happen, i'm just not praying at all. BUT I also know I have to forgive so i'm working on that. Forgive but NEVER forget! I love the Lord but I ain't no fool!
NEXT topic:
I now have a new food blog! Check out the blog at eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com and you can follow me on facebook.com/eatandrinkwithme and twitter.com/dineandreview . My mission with this blog is to visit different eateries and give a true, honest dining review. I know there are some places out there that hype up their food with major PR and then we foodies get there and have disappointing meals. My adventures are called "Dine and Reviews". This upcoming holiday I will be doing a special "Home for the Holidays" Dine and Review and already have the breakfast klub on my list. I want to add at least two more. It should be fun!
Ok the title post is "A change gone come" and in the words of Sam Cook - "its been a long time coming but i know a change gone come.." I've made some dumb azz mistakes but I think I've finally learned my lesson. Oh yes, Mr. Man is still in the picture. I don't know how to feel about this one. A part of me is just aching to be full force, full heart in a relationship but then another part of me is like "Guard your heart Nissa"! I wasn't created with the spirit of fear so I'm working on that as well.
Alright keep ya head up and don't let your visual outweigh your spiritual!
Whew!! A lot has happened and I have not been able to get to my blog page.
I thought my "bullshit" radar was working but apparently I still have a soft naive heart when it comes to people. I don't have it in my heart to use people so I choose to believe that people act the same way. Welp! I got "GOT" as we say via slang. What was supposed to be a short 2 weeks turned into over a month stay. Several broken $$ promises to this day, still nothing close to what was to be paid. Why would you promise to pay by a certain date if you know you don't really have it. Why even offer? Now I know how vendors feel when we don't pay on time. O_o And at this point not trying to be friends. Hey, I'm not a full asshole so if you say "hi" I'll speak back, I was raised old school southern and in that same aspect you show me your ass one time and you have just subtracted yourself out of my personal space. While I didn't really expect the $$ it would've been nice to have for my Thanksgiving travels..just a lil extra to have. I guess as a Believer, i should pray that they are overly successful and all monies are received. It's not that I'm praying bad stuff happen, i'm just not praying at all. BUT I also know I have to forgive so i'm working on that. Forgive but NEVER forget! I love the Lord but I ain't no fool!
NEXT topic:
I now have a new food blog! Check out the blog at eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com and you can follow me on facebook.com/eatandrinkwithme and twitter.com/dineandreview . My mission with this blog is to visit different eateries and give a true, honest dining review. I know there are some places out there that hype up their food with major PR and then we foodies get there and have disappointing meals. My adventures are called "Dine and Reviews". This upcoming holiday I will be doing a special "Home for the Holidays" Dine and Review and already have the breakfast klub on my list. I want to add at least two more. It should be fun!
Ok the title post is "A change gone come" and in the words of Sam Cook - "its been a long time coming but i know a change gone come.." I've made some dumb azz mistakes but I think I've finally learned my lesson. Oh yes, Mr. Man is still in the picture. I don't know how to feel about this one. A part of me is just aching to be full force, full heart in a relationship but then another part of me is like "Guard your heart Nissa"! I wasn't created with the spirit of fear so I'm working on that as well.
Alright keep ya head up and don't let your visual outweigh your spiritual!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
What is 2014 going to be like?
Hello World....
I'm really really really psyched about some new things that are under way in my life...Totally new mindset, new attitude, new actions...no more fear, no more failure due to "what-if I don't..."what-if I can't" - it's crazy because if I never do it I'll never know! I'll be 42 in a few months and I feel like I am in a repeated vicious cycle. Yep, it's like I've been here before. Making some crazy azz decisions leading to some crazy azz events..some have happened, some have not...i don't even wanna know what's about to happen!!
HAA!! Well the other day as I was listening to one of my fave line dancing/happy-go-lucky songs by Ne-yo "Champagne Life" I heard part of the lyrics in a different light for the first time ever "addicted to life, where dreams and reality are one-in-the same.." I realized that I'd lost my zeal, my addiction for life, my light was starting to fade and to be real about it, I was starting to look for a way out. A permanent one. This is going to be a new transition, a good pace though, nothing too fast and nothing slow.
I have my "Hello World" blog(which you are reading now) that i try to log into on a somewhat consistent basis just as an outlet to verbalize thoughts. Sometimes to help me, sometimes to help others. I also NOW have a new dining blog which you can check out at http://eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com - I also have a FB page of the same name. Feel free to check me out..i hope to take this blog to the next level. Two things i love to do, eat and then write about it! LOL!
I am still entertaining "Mr. Man" but I'm still playing this by ear. You know how it is when you've dealt with stupidity in past relationships? This wall goes up and then you either turn bitter or take a break and then jump back in with your fingers crossed and hope for the best. Well I'm the latter, my fingers are crossed and I'm hoping that I don't overlook signs and end up staying in something that needs to end. I think i'm just hoping that my meter isn't broken when it comes to my own relationship. I'm hoping that a part of me isn't just desperate to be with someone. I'd honestly rather be alone than bored and/or miserable. We all know what happens when you hold onto something past expiration...it gets ugly.
So my question is "What is 2014 going to be like" for me? *sigh* I don't know but I am again excited to find out! No more looking at the successes of my friends and associates and being exasperated NO it will now be a push for me in a positive manner to continue with my dreams. I'd lost my drive a few years ago and have been struggling to get it back and I think I finally got it....YES...i think i finally got it back. It's going to take a while to get away from the sarcastic response that I'm so used to automatically going to in my mind, but i am truly truly trying and I need to REALLY get a feel for jumping into my ambitions again.
No more being bored....no more hiding in the laughter...no more not letting people in...although I am going to still keep it playing safe on the romance side. So we'll see if 2014 comes in with the same Mr. Man or heck maybe no Mr. Man at all. LOL! We shall see...
My lesson today:
Stay confident and don't talk yourself out of your own blessing!! YOU are the only one stopping YOU!
~Peace and Blessings~
I'm really really really psyched about some new things that are under way in my life...Totally new mindset, new attitude, new actions...no more fear, no more failure due to "what-if I don't..."what-if I can't" - it's crazy because if I never do it I'll never know! I'll be 42 in a few months and I feel like I am in a repeated vicious cycle. Yep, it's like I've been here before. Making some crazy azz decisions leading to some crazy azz events..some have happened, some have not...i don't even wanna know what's about to happen!!
HAA!! Well the other day as I was listening to one of my fave line dancing/happy-go-lucky songs by Ne-yo "Champagne Life" I heard part of the lyrics in a different light for the first time ever "addicted to life, where dreams and reality are one-in-the same.." I realized that I'd lost my zeal, my addiction for life, my light was starting to fade and to be real about it, I was starting to look for a way out. A permanent one. This is going to be a new transition, a good pace though, nothing too fast and nothing slow.
I have my "Hello World" blog(which you are reading now) that i try to log into on a somewhat consistent basis just as an outlet to verbalize thoughts. Sometimes to help me, sometimes to help others. I also NOW have a new dining blog which you can check out at http://eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com - I also have a FB page of the same name. Feel free to check me out..i hope to take this blog to the next level. Two things i love to do, eat and then write about it! LOL!
I am still entertaining "Mr. Man" but I'm still playing this by ear. You know how it is when you've dealt with stupidity in past relationships? This wall goes up and then you either turn bitter or take a break and then jump back in with your fingers crossed and hope for the best. Well I'm the latter, my fingers are crossed and I'm hoping that I don't overlook signs and end up staying in something that needs to end. I think i'm just hoping that my meter isn't broken when it comes to my own relationship. I'm hoping that a part of me isn't just desperate to be with someone. I'd honestly rather be alone than bored and/or miserable. We all know what happens when you hold onto something past expiration...it gets ugly.
So my question is "What is 2014 going to be like" for me? *sigh* I don't know but I am again excited to find out! No more looking at the successes of my friends and associates and being exasperated NO it will now be a push for me in a positive manner to continue with my dreams. I'd lost my drive a few years ago and have been struggling to get it back and I think I finally got it....YES...i think i finally got it back. It's going to take a while to get away from the sarcastic response that I'm so used to automatically going to in my mind, but i am truly truly trying and I need to REALLY get a feel for jumping into my ambitions again.
No more being bored....no more hiding in the laughter...no more not letting people in...although I am going to still keep it playing safe on the romance side. So we'll see if 2014 comes in with the same Mr. Man or heck maybe no Mr. Man at all. LOL! We shall see...
My lesson today:
Stay confident and don't talk yourself out of your own blessing!! YOU are the only one stopping YOU!
~Peace and Blessings~
Monday, October 21, 2013
Is it the way??
Hello World...
I have a bad habit of not being consistent with this blog...
There have been a lot of craziness happening in my life that make sense to my current actions...my title says "Is it the way" and it makes me think about Jill Scott's song to a certain extent.
The new guy is still there and it's been 5 months...i'm a tad giddy....
I've been hanging with some friends that keep me active in my "walk" but i've not been as active as I should be at all! Ugh!
But now there is a strange incident happening in my personal space that I'm not sure how to judge. An individual I only have a business friendly connection with has been reaching out for assistance that is on a personal friendly level and it's striking me as a tad strange. My personality is such that I will assist those that are in need, maybe sometimes to a fault. I pray I never run into someone that will attempt to take advantage of me. Is it the way I'm living? Is it the vibes I'm throwing out? I tell you what God has my back no matter how crazy I tend to act so in the words of Mr. T, I pity the fool that tries to mess with me.. LOL!
So to my audience..be careful of how you live your life, the vibes you give off are the same vibes you attract..
Keep your head up and be encouraged!
~Peace and Blessings~
I have a bad habit of not being consistent with this blog...
There have been a lot of craziness happening in my life that make sense to my current actions...my title says "Is it the way" and it makes me think about Jill Scott's song to a certain extent.
The new guy is still there and it's been 5 months...i'm a tad giddy....
I've been hanging with some friends that keep me active in my "walk" but i've not been as active as I should be at all! Ugh!
But now there is a strange incident happening in my personal space that I'm not sure how to judge. An individual I only have a business friendly connection with has been reaching out for assistance that is on a personal friendly level and it's striking me as a tad strange. My personality is such that I will assist those that are in need, maybe sometimes to a fault. I pray I never run into someone that will attempt to take advantage of me. Is it the way I'm living? Is it the vibes I'm throwing out? I tell you what God has my back no matter how crazy I tend to act so in the words of Mr. T, I pity the fool that tries to mess with me.. LOL!
So to my audience..be careful of how you live your life, the vibes you give off are the same vibes you attract..
Keep your head up and be encouraged!
~Peace and Blessings~
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Listen to the Word around you...
Hello World...
(click here) for song
This has been an interesting time for me. I've been doing some reflecting about choices I've made and getting upset about it and between the Word that my Pastor (Bishop Jackson) has been ministering "The Big Picture" - [today Matt 5:13] then the Word that we got today during the service "Spiritual Alignment" [Matt 3:7] I'm getting the right direction to go forward. Bishop Jackson has been speaking on using our gifts and our daily lives to spread the Word and then today Pastor Johnson of Christ Point of View Ministries spoke about getting aligned with God and having the power to endure anything and how once we align with God there are certain things that will not/cannot bother us. I got a Word to continue to follow the vision and yearning of entrepreneurship that has been in my spirit. Thanks to some Atl connections I've been once again connected to and pulled into a situation that motivates me to use my/stir up my gifts... (click here) for song...
Two weeks ago a new ATL friend (by way of New Awlins be-be) put out a request for some singers for an evening service. I put my name in the hat..I started taking voice lessons last month but was unable to continue beyond July due to lack of $$..i'll pick back up soon though...so anyway we had successful rehearsal last night for today which is something that happens when you have a group of folks together because they love to do something versus there because they have to...so as SOON as we get started (after prayer of course) my friend starts us on vocal warmups..LOL..little did she know the one exercise she had us doing is one that I had the most trouble with when I started in July. LOL!! But I can do 'em now! What is it you ask? Lip Drills....lawd have mercy...my voice coach had a happy time trying to teach me how to do that...LOL! But who'd a thunk it that I'd need to know how to do this later. HA! love it! So another connection showing me that I'm still on the right path, no need to be frustrated. (click here) for song...All I have to do is listen to the Word around me...
Even if you don't believe in the same ideology that I do, everyone understands karma and signs and being in the right group of people. That's a beautiful thing. Positive vibes are always good. Negativity exists in every group/crowd/mindset and it's all about going with your gut/stepping out on faith/listen to the vibes (in the words of Zhane). When your mind is open and you are ready to follow your heart beautiful things happen.
The objective is to listen to the Word around you....Stay focused, hone your skills and let your gifts make room for you, keep your dream alive and always be around people that will allow you to go to the next level. The folks that try to hinder you should not be in your personal space...keep away from them...
Keep your head up...
*Peace and Blessings*
Credit:
Youtube.com
John P Kee
Colorado Mass Choir
Zhane
(click here) for song
This has been an interesting time for me. I've been doing some reflecting about choices I've made and getting upset about it and between the Word that my Pastor (Bishop Jackson) has been ministering "The Big Picture" - [today Matt 5:13] then the Word that we got today during the service "Spiritual Alignment" [Matt 3:7] I'm getting the right direction to go forward. Bishop Jackson has been speaking on using our gifts and our daily lives to spread the Word and then today Pastor Johnson of Christ Point of View Ministries spoke about getting aligned with God and having the power to endure anything and how once we align with God there are certain things that will not/cannot bother us. I got a Word to continue to follow the vision and yearning of entrepreneurship that has been in my spirit. Thanks to some Atl connections I've been once again connected to and pulled into a situation that motivates me to use my/stir up my gifts... (click here) for song...
Two weeks ago a new ATL friend (by way of New Awlins be-be) put out a request for some singers for an evening service. I put my name in the hat..I started taking voice lessons last month but was unable to continue beyond July due to lack of $$..i'll pick back up soon though...so anyway we had successful rehearsal last night for today which is something that happens when you have a group of folks together because they love to do something versus there because they have to...so as SOON as we get started (after prayer of course) my friend starts us on vocal warmups..LOL..little did she know the one exercise she had us doing is one that I had the most trouble with when I started in July. LOL!! But I can do 'em now! What is it you ask? Lip Drills....lawd have mercy...my voice coach had a happy time trying to teach me how to do that...LOL! But who'd a thunk it that I'd need to know how to do this later. HA! love it! So another connection showing me that I'm still on the right path, no need to be frustrated. (click here) for song...All I have to do is listen to the Word around me...
Even if you don't believe in the same ideology that I do, everyone understands karma and signs and being in the right group of people. That's a beautiful thing. Positive vibes are always good. Negativity exists in every group/crowd/mindset and it's all about going with your gut/stepping out on faith/listen to the vibes (in the words of Zhane). When your mind is open and you are ready to follow your heart beautiful things happen.
The objective is to listen to the Word around you....Stay focused, hone your skills and let your gifts make room for you, keep your dream alive and always be around people that will allow you to go to the next level. The folks that try to hinder you should not be in your personal space...keep away from them...
Keep your head up...
*Peace and Blessings*
Credit:
Youtube.com
John P Kee
Colorado Mass Choir
Zhane
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Another Legend Gone...Be Productive...
Hello World...
Sad news just in...a sad day in the music world! We have lost funk/jazz great Mr.George Duke!! http://www.eurweb.com/2013/08/we-remember-george-duke-dies-at-67/
No matter what age you are, if you wanted to hear or were looking for real music or if you were just raised around real music his tunes graced your ear drums!
Mr. Duke has been blessing us with tunes (studio/live/film composition) since the 1960s and had just released a new album entitled "Dream Weaver" (click here) which is dedicated to his wife who passed away last July from cancer.
Enjoy one of my fave Duke Tunes by clicking here...
Our lesson today: As we enjoy this new day, use your time, every breath wisely and be productive because your next second is not promised!!
On a personal/professional note: I will be ministering with Christ Point of View Ministries Sunday, Aug 18th in Commerce GA. Shouts out to a new good friend, Meryl Lain, for creating this opportunity and a shouts out to International Choreographer Ursula Kendall for being a great friend and networking fiend! :-) It's good to connect with productive people who operate on a professional level, they allow you to connect with the right people! Hone your craft, have a plan and be ready to GO!!
Peace and Blessings.....
Credit:
Eurweb.com
Youtube.com
George Duke Online
Sad news just in...a sad day in the music world! We have lost funk/jazz great Mr.George Duke!! http://www.eurweb.com/2013/08/we-remember-george-duke-dies-at-67/
No matter what age you are, if you wanted to hear or were looking for real music or if you were just raised around real music his tunes graced your ear drums!
Mr. Duke has been blessing us with tunes (studio/live/film composition) since the 1960s and had just released a new album entitled "Dream Weaver" (click here) which is dedicated to his wife who passed away last July from cancer.
Enjoy one of my fave Duke Tunes by clicking here...
Our lesson today: As we enjoy this new day, use your time, every breath wisely and be productive because your next second is not promised!!
On a personal/professional note: I will be ministering with Christ Point of View Ministries Sunday, Aug 18th in Commerce GA. Shouts out to a new good friend, Meryl Lain, for creating this opportunity and a shouts out to International Choreographer Ursula Kendall for being a great friend and networking fiend! :-) It's good to connect with productive people who operate on a professional level, they allow you to connect with the right people! Hone your craft, have a plan and be ready to GO!!
Peace and Blessings.....
Credit:
Eurweb.com
Youtube.com
George Duke Online
Monday, July 1, 2013
???
Hello World...
May 15th to July 1st...the honeymoon stage is slowly wearing off. Not that anything crazy is happening but I think, even though I haven't done a one on one situation in quite sometime my non-single mode expects/looks for something specific that I'm not getting. And I'm trying to not be the "friend" that controls the situation and that lets the chips fall where they may. This may be my "test" to see how I now handle one-on-one situations. If I let the chips fall where they may, maybe it'll be a great thing versus me controlling how I want it to go. LOL...stubborn Aries I am. I don't know..we'll see. Right now I'm just..ugh...mad about the fact that I have to even deal with these emotions. I'm an emotional being but I don't really like emotions. Emotions, to me, mean that people can hurt you. I don't like being hurt....so right now... ??? is where I am.
I hope everyone else has a peace and blessed type of evening.
May 15th to July 1st...the honeymoon stage is slowly wearing off. Not that anything crazy is happening but I think, even though I haven't done a one on one situation in quite sometime my non-single mode expects/looks for something specific that I'm not getting. And I'm trying to not be the "friend" that controls the situation and that lets the chips fall where they may. This may be my "test" to see how I now handle one-on-one situations. If I let the chips fall where they may, maybe it'll be a great thing versus me controlling how I want it to go. LOL...stubborn Aries I am. I don't know..we'll see. Right now I'm just..ugh...mad about the fact that I have to even deal with these emotions. I'm an emotional being but I don't really like emotions. Emotions, to me, mean that people can hurt you. I don't like being hurt....so right now... ??? is where I am.
I hope everyone else has a peace and blessed type of evening.
Monday, June 24, 2013
As the heart speaks...
Hello World...
It has been umpteen days since my last post and a lot of stuff has happened. So let's get to it.
First update:
My new friend and I are trudging along BUT i'm noticing I may have attracted yet another hard working entrepreneur who may have bitten off more than he can chew. Either that or the Lord is trying to tell me to be patient. Business owners have crazy schedules and have to be on alert at all times. The step is to get the business up and eventually get staff that can effectively and efficiently run it..but until then he/she has to be there everyday. I'm more hands on, like to date, not every weekend but some quality time is needed. And not a quick hour here or there after work/on the way home. *sigh* I don't know...but I'm not stressing about it either. I know how to remove myself from something when I start feeling unwanted. One day you see me, the next day you don't. Simple as that. So we'll see how that goes.
Next update:
My homegirl is still here and this is kinda cool! I've done roommate situations before and those were okay but after those two and then had to move back with mom and my younger siblings for awhile, i vowed to never do it again. But I have to retract that statement. When you share a space with someone that knows how to respect the space, it's works out very well. We are both used to having our own space so we give each other that respect and meet in the middle for girl talk. I'm going through a pair down/downsizing of "stuff" that I have including cable. I'm going to check on what's needed for regular TV, I think I have to get some sort of box or something for regular channels. *shrug* i'll check it out. I didn't think I'd be able to make it without DirecTV. LOL! I don't miss that bill either. I need to contact them to come and get their boxes and remotes.
Hmmmm what's next?
I got a call from a past flame...how "past" you ask? Kinda recent....I thought I was cool, I was over "it" and with this new guy that just appeared that it was a sign that it was truly time to release. So when i got this call and my heart rate increased and as our conversation continued a tear drop found it's way down my face, I knew I was somewhat healed but not 100%. Man oh man.....it's definitely sometimes hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Especially when that yesterday has had your heart in his hands for so long..man! BUT the present is working out well so no long standing heart ache over here. *whew* I think the Lord knew that call was coming and knew I needed to be ready for it. Thanks God, once again! LOL!
On the professional front:
I'm signing myself up for voice lessons with Premier Vocal Coaches. I just registered, I hope I did it right so I'm waiting to hear back from them. The church media group took a tour of AIBTV studios. It's the studio that airs our church broadcast. It reignited my audio engineering fire bug AND I spoke with the Audio guy there and gave him my information and he suggested that I look into being foley. Takes me back to what my first film professor said. So I think I'm going to look into it. Contact her and see what other information she can give me. Next step is legalzoom.com for this LLC. I keep saying I'm gonna do it and don't.
Not so good update. I got back in the world of pay day loans and currently have 3 out for a total of about $300. That's $300 dollars more I could have in my pocket. Here I got again stepping backwards. *sigh* Anyway, I'll be handling that soon. Ok...oh yeah, I didn't go to my reunion this year. Just didn't feel like it. Im starting to feel like I put more energy into being around my own DNA connected folks than they do so i'm just not going to put out the extra effort or energy like I used to. If they don't really care, neither do it. point blank..period. No harm no foul...
End of the day..As the world turns, the heart speaks...and my heart says "Continue to live..." and first lady spoke yesterday on winning souls for Christ. You don't have to do anything extra just live like you have some sense. When you do that it draws people to you and THEN you can share your testimony and then invite them to your ministry. Don't pull folks from other churches, there are plenty of folks out there with no covering. So with all of that said, I need to update the way i'm living. I'm on it.
I thank God for this day, I didn't have to be here. I will be more vigilant on doing what i need to do before I leave.
*Peace and Blessings*
p.s. found out that Bobby Blue Bland passed away yesterday (Sunday, June 23rd) to honor his memory, I end with this song. RIP....
It has been umpteen days since my last post and a lot of stuff has happened. So let's get to it.
First update:
My new friend and I are trudging along BUT i'm noticing I may have attracted yet another hard working entrepreneur who may have bitten off more than he can chew. Either that or the Lord is trying to tell me to be patient. Business owners have crazy schedules and have to be on alert at all times. The step is to get the business up and eventually get staff that can effectively and efficiently run it..but until then he/she has to be there everyday. I'm more hands on, like to date, not every weekend but some quality time is needed. And not a quick hour here or there after work/on the way home. *sigh* I don't know...but I'm not stressing about it either. I know how to remove myself from something when I start feeling unwanted. One day you see me, the next day you don't. Simple as that. So we'll see how that goes.
Next update:
My homegirl is still here and this is kinda cool! I've done roommate situations before and those were okay but after those two and then had to move back with mom and my younger siblings for awhile, i vowed to never do it again. But I have to retract that statement. When you share a space with someone that knows how to respect the space, it's works out very well. We are both used to having our own space so we give each other that respect and meet in the middle for girl talk. I'm going through a pair down/downsizing of "stuff" that I have including cable. I'm going to check on what's needed for regular TV, I think I have to get some sort of box or something for regular channels. *shrug* i'll check it out. I didn't think I'd be able to make it without DirecTV. LOL! I don't miss that bill either. I need to contact them to come and get their boxes and remotes.
Hmmmm what's next?
I got a call from a past flame...how "past" you ask? Kinda recent....I thought I was cool, I was over "it" and with this new guy that just appeared that it was a sign that it was truly time to release. So when i got this call and my heart rate increased and as our conversation continued a tear drop found it's way down my face, I knew I was somewhat healed but not 100%. Man oh man.....it's definitely sometimes hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Especially when that yesterday has had your heart in his hands for so long..man! BUT the present is working out well so no long standing heart ache over here. *whew* I think the Lord knew that call was coming and knew I needed to be ready for it. Thanks God, once again! LOL!
On the professional front:
I'm signing myself up for voice lessons with Premier Vocal Coaches. I just registered, I hope I did it right so I'm waiting to hear back from them. The church media group took a tour of AIBTV studios. It's the studio that airs our church broadcast. It reignited my audio engineering fire bug AND I spoke with the Audio guy there and gave him my information and he suggested that I look into being foley. Takes me back to what my first film professor said. So I think I'm going to look into it. Contact her and see what other information she can give me. Next step is legalzoom.com for this LLC. I keep saying I'm gonna do it and don't.
Not so good update. I got back in the world of pay day loans and currently have 3 out for a total of about $300. That's $300 dollars more I could have in my pocket. Here I got again stepping backwards. *sigh* Anyway, I'll be handling that soon. Ok...oh yeah, I didn't go to my reunion this year. Just didn't feel like it. Im starting to feel like I put more energy into being around my own DNA connected folks than they do so i'm just not going to put out the extra effort or energy like I used to. If they don't really care, neither do it. point blank..period. No harm no foul...
End of the day..As the world turns, the heart speaks...and my heart says "Continue to live..." and first lady spoke yesterday on winning souls for Christ. You don't have to do anything extra just live like you have some sense. When you do that it draws people to you and THEN you can share your testimony and then invite them to your ministry. Don't pull folks from other churches, there are plenty of folks out there with no covering. So with all of that said, I need to update the way i'm living. I'm on it.
I thank God for this day, I didn't have to be here. I will be more vigilant on doing what i need to do before I leave.
*Peace and Blessings*
p.s. found out that Bobby Blue Bland passed away yesterday (Sunday, June 23rd) to honor his memory, I end with this song. RIP....
Sunday, June 16, 2013
What today means to me...
Hello World...
My last two posts dealt with me having a temper tantrum. LOL! Literally, my mindset just goes to the left sometimes. And then when i snap back, I'm like "what the hell was I thinking?"
Today..well this weekend was my 2013 Turknett Reunion - I didn't go. I couldn't do it this year. I could've bought a plane ticket a few months ago but didn't and then I said "oh i'll drive" but the closer it came, I knew my heart/soul/body was not into that 24 hour drive. Plus everything happens for a reason, if I'd left I wouldn't have been here for a friend. Sometimes friends just need to know they have support, nothing extravagant just some stability. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing. And as I type this I pray that God continues to supply that and put keep me on the mindset of stability.
Today is also Fathers day. I don't have the greatest relationship with mine but I like the fact that a connection exists. I used to try to hold onto yesteryear anger but it only held me hostage. At one point after i moved here I wrote my father a letter and told him that I forgave him and I did. I will call him once i think he's up, it's 8am in Texas right now, and tell him Happy Fathers Day.
Everything with the new "friend" is going well. Still in "getting to know/honey moon" stages so we're still giddy. i'm not saying i want it to wear off but I know it will eventually. Then again, I don't know he's such an intriguing guy, maybe it won't. I don't know but we'll see. *tee hee*
One cool thing I found out while dining out yesterday is a chef that I know, now has a cooking school which I plan on taking courses in and his classes include - How to Smoke/BBQ. OMG! That's the one thing i've always wanted to know how to do! I can do a lil something something in the kitchen but i've never been allowed near the pit when my cousins and uncles do their thang. I'm excited, I can't wait!
So what does today mean to me? It means regeneration, it means new life, it means excitement, it means....
~peace and blessings~ ;-)
My last two posts dealt with me having a temper tantrum. LOL! Literally, my mindset just goes to the left sometimes. And then when i snap back, I'm like "what the hell was I thinking?"
Today..well this weekend was my 2013 Turknett Reunion - I didn't go. I couldn't do it this year. I could've bought a plane ticket a few months ago but didn't and then I said "oh i'll drive" but the closer it came, I knew my heart/soul/body was not into that 24 hour drive. Plus everything happens for a reason, if I'd left I wouldn't have been here for a friend. Sometimes friends just need to know they have support, nothing extravagant just some stability. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing. And as I type this I pray that God continues to supply that and put keep me on the mindset of stability.
Today is also Fathers day. I don't have the greatest relationship with mine but I like the fact that a connection exists. I used to try to hold onto yesteryear anger but it only held me hostage. At one point after i moved here I wrote my father a letter and told him that I forgave him and I did. I will call him once i think he's up, it's 8am in Texas right now, and tell him Happy Fathers Day.
Everything with the new "friend" is going well. Still in "getting to know/honey moon" stages so we're still giddy. i'm not saying i want it to wear off but I know it will eventually. Then again, I don't know he's such an intriguing guy, maybe it won't. I don't know but we'll see. *tee hee*
One cool thing I found out while dining out yesterday is a chef that I know, now has a cooking school which I plan on taking courses in and his classes include - How to Smoke/BBQ. OMG! That's the one thing i've always wanted to know how to do! I can do a lil something something in the kitchen but i've never been allowed near the pit when my cousins and uncles do their thang. I'm excited, I can't wait!
So what does today mean to me? It means regeneration, it means new life, it means excitement, it means....
~peace and blessings~ ;-)
Monday, June 3, 2013
Update - "Slipping Away"
Hello World...
So I pull up Sunday's Aries horoscope and pow! Bam! Boom! Look what it's telling me about being overly sensitive and then I go back and read my blog from this weekend...umph umph umph! Just an overly sensitive Aries I was.... HAAAA!!
Enjoy the horoscope and sign up with them to get yours at www.dailyom.com
June 2, 2013
Healing the Past
Aries Daily Horoscope
So I pull up Sunday's Aries horoscope and pow! Bam! Boom! Look what it's telling me about being overly sensitive and then I go back and read my blog from this weekend...umph umph umph! Just an overly sensitive Aries I was.... HAAAA!!
Enjoy the horoscope and sign up with them to get yours at www.dailyom.com
June 2, 2013
Healing the Past
Aries Daily Horoscope
Your sense of vulnerability to others’ opinions could make you feel overly sensitive today. This feeling of being exposed could be due to your own judgments about yourself, which you might then look for more carefully in your interactions with others. Being able to understand the workings of your inner critic could make you feel less exposed and may help you to react more positively to the opinions you receive from other people. Should you at anytime start to feel judged today, you may wish to ask yourself if that comment or action reminds you of anything you experienced in the past; you may find that your reaction is based on something that is not even related to your present experiences. As you come across your emotional trigger, you might wish to imagine that you have the power to change your past reaction through your current situation.
Seeing how our past relates to the ways in which we interact in the present is a powerful way to heal our critical thoughts about ourselves. Once we recognize that our vulnerability has more to do with our history, we will begin to understand that reacting more positively in the now can alter and restore things that happened in the past. Rather than feel sensitive, we transform ourselves and instead begin to feel a greater sense of empowerment.
Seeing how our past relates to the ways in which we interact in the present is a powerful way to heal our critical thoughts about ourselves. Once we recognize that our vulnerability has more to do with our history, we will begin to understand that reacting more positively in the now can alter and restore things that happened in the past. Rather than feel sensitive, we transform ourselves and instead begin to feel a greater sense of empowerment.
Reflecting on what sparks your feelings of judgment today will enable you to change the ways you react to certain situations, which will in turn cultivate healthier and more healing interactions.
Peace and Blessings!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Slipping Away....
Hello World...
Yesterday started out as a strange vibe day with the non-boiled eggs. In my 41 years i've NEVER not succeeded in boiling an egg and it happened yesterday. I knew then that the day was going to be interesting.
Saw my new friend for a split second and hung with my homette that is in town visiting and the day seemed to be going back to the positive side. Went to a nice fish fry outing at a park...great energy..good food...great people. Then somewhere something went wrong...a comment was made that made me feel like I was in the way. See this was a Frat/Soror type thing and of course my life decisions have caused me to NOT be a part of that world and the way it's looking it'll never happen. So when i'm at one of these things, yes everyone is nice but i'm definitely an outsider and this is my homette's thang. So to already know you're an outsider and then hear that comment made me start to back off. So that's where my vibe went to the left (negative). Then it just seemed like every time I said something it was considered funny/stupid not funny/haha. And there is a difference. So i removed myself from a scenario that irritated me during a small group convo and then as we head to another gathering i hear "well yes a man is allowed to have a few things out of order in their home but a woman should NEVER have anything out of order.." *BAM* upper cut to the chin towards me because I'm sort of a clutter bug so I haven't had a spot where there was a spot/place for everything in YEARS. I hold onto stuff...which i probably shouldn't but I do. I realized that when i moved from a 2bedroom to this 1 bedroom. I had so much "junk" stuff it was ridiculous! So there are two ways to take that comment - Negatively and Positively. Last night...i took it negatively and it hurt my feelings because i find myself "again" in a scenario with someone I consider a friend and just got hit in the gut like that. So i'm like "oh wow, she took it there! Why?" As the night went on the tension slowly died down and things got a tad better. Great company, games, good food and i actually watched the playoffs. LOL! I couldn't believe it. I'm more NFL than NBA but i'm a sports fan so I'll watch if it's on and if it's the thing the group is doing. *shrug* it's whatever. LOL!
And next event later on, things seemed to have gotten better but that comment will stick with me....forever. I think because what I heard was "you have to be perfect" and I'm far from that in a whole bunch of areas in my life and will never be that so it made me mad. And then fast forward after sleeping on it and coming to the conclusion that i'd already made up in my mind that i wanted to start pairing down stuff to get rid of the junk and work on my clutter free project, I was like ok..the message is the same, i just didn't like the presentation. *shrug* whatever! And at the time with the other emotions I was dealing with, I didn't need to hear that.
So the positivity of it all is now making itself known. You see when I first started this blog entry I was in the mindset that I was slowly slipping away, that I was again close to ending everything. Because being mediocre sucks and I can't seem to get my shit together to do something with my damn life and it's starting to make me angry! So I was at tears..felt like my life was slowly slipping away. Then I logged onto my church website wileyjackson.org and Bishop's meditative word for today was "when you start talking about your situation to God, you limit His power in working things out." That's a paraphrase but that's the message and I was like "ok Father, I hear You." I seem to keep repeating this same vicious mental cycle, except this time I'm paying tithes on a regular so I'm hoping that will make my outlook better. I seem to go from highest heights of "Living my life like it's golden" to "Fuck this shit i'm out" there's nothing in between. I mean i think about school, it's on halt right now and the job is a mediocre attempt of me holding on. And then i see my friends/associates successfully doing their thang...making it happen no matter what and i'm like "Nissa, you are a sorry one for real..you ain't got kid the first, no negative man in your life trying to stop you..you are stopping YOU." ugh!
Anyway, right now my spirit is better but I still feel myself slowly slipping away and I'm scared that one day there will be no pep talk to bring me back.
Every birthday takes me closer to the end and i'm starting to feel like a true failure. That one that talks about what i'm going to do and never doing it.
Pray for me...
*Peace and Blessings*
Yesterday started out as a strange vibe day with the non-boiled eggs. In my 41 years i've NEVER not succeeded in boiling an egg and it happened yesterday. I knew then that the day was going to be interesting.
Saw my new friend for a split second and hung with my homette that is in town visiting and the day seemed to be going back to the positive side. Went to a nice fish fry outing at a park...great energy..good food...great people. Then somewhere something went wrong...a comment was made that made me feel like I was in the way. See this was a Frat/Soror type thing and of course my life decisions have caused me to NOT be a part of that world and the way it's looking it'll never happen. So when i'm at one of these things, yes everyone is nice but i'm definitely an outsider and this is my homette's thang. So to already know you're an outsider and then hear that comment made me start to back off. So that's where my vibe went to the left (negative). Then it just seemed like every time I said something it was considered funny/stupid not funny/haha. And there is a difference. So i removed myself from a scenario that irritated me during a small group convo and then as we head to another gathering i hear "well yes a man is allowed to have a few things out of order in their home but a woman should NEVER have anything out of order.." *BAM* upper cut to the chin towards me because I'm sort of a clutter bug so I haven't had a spot where there was a spot/place for everything in YEARS. I hold onto stuff...which i probably shouldn't but I do. I realized that when i moved from a 2bedroom to this 1 bedroom. I had so much "junk" stuff it was ridiculous! So there are two ways to take that comment - Negatively and Positively. Last night...i took it negatively and it hurt my feelings because i find myself "again" in a scenario with someone I consider a friend and just got hit in the gut like that. So i'm like "oh wow, she took it there! Why?" As the night went on the tension slowly died down and things got a tad better. Great company, games, good food and i actually watched the playoffs. LOL! I couldn't believe it. I'm more NFL than NBA but i'm a sports fan so I'll watch if it's on and if it's the thing the group is doing. *shrug* it's whatever. LOL!
And next event later on, things seemed to have gotten better but that comment will stick with me....forever. I think because what I heard was "you have to be perfect" and I'm far from that in a whole bunch of areas in my life and will never be that so it made me mad. And then fast forward after sleeping on it and coming to the conclusion that i'd already made up in my mind that i wanted to start pairing down stuff to get rid of the junk and work on my clutter free project, I was like ok..the message is the same, i just didn't like the presentation. *shrug* whatever! And at the time with the other emotions I was dealing with, I didn't need to hear that.
So the positivity of it all is now making itself known. You see when I first started this blog entry I was in the mindset that I was slowly slipping away, that I was again close to ending everything. Because being mediocre sucks and I can't seem to get my shit together to do something with my damn life and it's starting to make me angry! So I was at tears..felt like my life was slowly slipping away. Then I logged onto my church website wileyjackson.org and Bishop's meditative word for today was "when you start talking about your situation to God, you limit His power in working things out." That's a paraphrase but that's the message and I was like "ok Father, I hear You." I seem to keep repeating this same vicious mental cycle, except this time I'm paying tithes on a regular so I'm hoping that will make my outlook better. I seem to go from highest heights of "Living my life like it's golden" to "Fuck this shit i'm out" there's nothing in between. I mean i think about school, it's on halt right now and the job is a mediocre attempt of me holding on. And then i see my friends/associates successfully doing their thang...making it happen no matter what and i'm like "Nissa, you are a sorry one for real..you ain't got kid the first, no negative man in your life trying to stop you..you are stopping YOU." ugh!
Anyway, right now my spirit is better but I still feel myself slowly slipping away and I'm scared that one day there will be no pep talk to bring me back.
Every birthday takes me closer to the end and i'm starting to feel like a true failure. That one that talks about what i'm going to do and never doing it.
Pray for me...
*Peace and Blessings*
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
It's a been a long time...
Hello World:
Copying one of my fave hip hop lyrics "it's been a long time..."
I haven't had anything just really really awesome happen to me...uuh i'm still working at the same company, still worshipping at Gospel Tabernacle and still have no funds or a plan b for school attendance. I am now having to start paying back Sallie Mae since i'm not in school and all of the scholarships that i applied for via Georgia State went to someone else.
I don't know, it seems like I was supposed to be there, the Lord opened doors to get me into the school of music for the Sound Engineering part and then i look up and the Federal Loan folks are telling me i'm now out of money for school. Oh yes, they raise tuition but don't give us extra money for the increase so we can finish. well i guess that's what i get for not going to school when i should have.
I'm starting to feel the presence of "not giving a damn". i'm starting to feel boxed into the matrix, so i get to watch my friends "live" and I'm just existing. Not a good feeling.
On a personal level, I met someone. I was casually running errands when I walked into a store to purchase some items and the cashier caught my eye immediately. I was thinking "ok Nissa, he's really nice to look at." Now the thing was he was standing behind a glass area so i only saw him from the chest up, however the boulders popping out of the shirt he was wearing and his face had my attention. LOL! So I didn't flirt outright but i struck up a casual conversation and found out he owned the store and lived in Douglasville. i'm thinking "hmm ok..."so I turn to walk out and he gets my attention again and gives me his number. HAAA!! As I was trying to look casual even though i was jumping up and down in my head and get in the car, he just happened to need to come outside to sweep the parking lot and oh my gawd! Yes Lord! Thank you! Loved what I saw!!!!!
that was 2 weeks ago. The convo is nice and i'm just slowly getting to know him. He's a single dad and the relationship between he and his son's mom is amicable. I'm noticing that my feelings of dating someone with kids has changed. At this point, i'm not really concentrating on that part because, hell i've only known him for two weeks and i'm not one of those females that have already picked out the wedding dress and picked a wedding date because I meet someone I like. Anyway i'm having good time and we'll see where this goes. *cheese*
So at the end of this blog i normally take the time to encourage the reader along with myself....sooooo I'll say that I will continue to uplift myself mentally and YOU do the same. My next step to do is voice lessons so I'll get right on that and do better about going to church....ugh..that's another blog all together! HAAAA!!!
Peace and Blessings....
and i'll leave you with this tune...and this one oh yes and this one
:-D
Copying one of my fave hip hop lyrics "it's been a long time..."
I haven't had anything just really really awesome happen to me...uuh i'm still working at the same company, still worshipping at Gospel Tabernacle and still have no funds or a plan b for school attendance. I am now having to start paying back Sallie Mae since i'm not in school and all of the scholarships that i applied for via Georgia State went to someone else.
I don't know, it seems like I was supposed to be there, the Lord opened doors to get me into the school of music for the Sound Engineering part and then i look up and the Federal Loan folks are telling me i'm now out of money for school. Oh yes, they raise tuition but don't give us extra money for the increase so we can finish. well i guess that's what i get for not going to school when i should have.
I'm starting to feel the presence of "not giving a damn". i'm starting to feel boxed into the matrix, so i get to watch my friends "live" and I'm just existing. Not a good feeling.
On a personal level, I met someone. I was casually running errands when I walked into a store to purchase some items and the cashier caught my eye immediately. I was thinking "ok Nissa, he's really nice to look at." Now the thing was he was standing behind a glass area so i only saw him from the chest up, however the boulders popping out of the shirt he was wearing and his face had my attention. LOL! So I didn't flirt outright but i struck up a casual conversation and found out he owned the store and lived in Douglasville. i'm thinking "hmm ok..."so I turn to walk out and he gets my attention again and gives me his number. HAAA!! As I was trying to look casual even though i was jumping up and down in my head and get in the car, he just happened to need to come outside to sweep the parking lot and oh my gawd! Yes Lord! Thank you! Loved what I saw!!!!!
that was 2 weeks ago. The convo is nice and i'm just slowly getting to know him. He's a single dad and the relationship between he and his son's mom is amicable. I'm noticing that my feelings of dating someone with kids has changed. At this point, i'm not really concentrating on that part because, hell i've only known him for two weeks and i'm not one of those females that have already picked out the wedding dress and picked a wedding date because I meet someone I like. Anyway i'm having good time and we'll see where this goes. *cheese*
So at the end of this blog i normally take the time to encourage the reader along with myself....sooooo I'll say that I will continue to uplift myself mentally and YOU do the same. My next step to do is voice lessons so I'll get right on that and do better about going to church....ugh..that's another blog all together! HAAAA!!!
Peace and Blessings....
and i'll leave you with this tune...and this one oh yes and this one
:-D
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Is my ___________In vain????
Hello World:
It's been a while or in the words of that talented songstress "Anita Baker" - "it's been soooo loooong"! And you have my sincerest apologies for that. So one major thing on my to-do list for 2013 is to get vocal lessons. I've been doing some minor vocal recordings just to not only practice but to keep my harmony training up to snuff. I found a few vocal teachers. But today as i was recording and uploading a Clark Sisters' classic, I realized how much training I actually need right now! hooooo it was hard staying in tune with myself. So sad! I almost started wondering if everything I'm doing is possibly in vain.
LOL! Here is my version of that classic.
It just reiterates that I am a background vocalist here to give you harmony, not a lead vocalist. Nto my strength at all!
Well may the Lord God bless you real good!!
*Peace and Blessings*
It's been a while or in the words of that talented songstress "Anita Baker" - "it's been soooo loooong"! And you have my sincerest apologies for that. So one major thing on my to-do list for 2013 is to get vocal lessons. I've been doing some minor vocal recordings just to not only practice but to keep my harmony training up to snuff. I found a few vocal teachers. But today as i was recording and uploading a Clark Sisters' classic, I realized how much training I actually need right now! hooooo it was hard staying in tune with myself. So sad! I almost started wondering if everything I'm doing is possibly in vain.
LOL! Here is my version of that classic.
It just reiterates that I am a background vocalist here to give you harmony, not a lead vocalist. Nto my strength at all!
Well may the Lord God bless you real good!!
*Peace and Blessings*
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Good golly Miss Molly
Hello World....
I'm not sure what brought this on but last night I had a very extensive dream about getting back/reconciling with my ex-husband. O_o I mean everything that i've done, all present thoughts, events played into this dream. I was even uneasy about him seeing my tat... LOL. I didn't eat anything crazy, i drank water, my regular herbal tea...i'm not sure what happened but i will pray a little harder before closing these eyes tonight.
LOL.
ok gotta go feed the kiddos...i'm out. Volunteering to for the TGIF kids, we are serving the kids this morning.
Love itl
~Peace and Blessings~
I'm not sure what brought this on but last night I had a very extensive dream about getting back/reconciling with my ex-husband. O_o I mean everything that i've done, all present thoughts, events played into this dream. I was even uneasy about him seeing my tat... LOL. I didn't eat anything crazy, i drank water, my regular herbal tea...i'm not sure what happened but i will pray a little harder before closing these eyes tonight.
LOL.
ok gotta go feed the kiddos...i'm out. Volunteering to for the TGIF kids, we are serving the kids this morning.
Love itl
~Peace and Blessings~
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Hey kalilah! LOL
Hello World....
This is a special blog to welcome my homette Kalilah..this is the beautiful bride lady you see posted in my first March blog. LOL!!
HEEEEEEY KALILAH!!!
this is just ya girl being silly....stay tuned for updates on my lovely dramatization i call life.
*peace and blessings*
This is a special blog to welcome my homette Kalilah..this is the beautiful bride lady you see posted in my first March blog. LOL!!
HEEEEEEY KALILAH!!!
this is just ya girl being silly....stay tuned for updates on my lovely dramatization i call life.
*peace and blessings*
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Welp He died and got up...why can't I?
Hello World...
yes it is Sunday, Easter Sunday to be exact and also considered "Resurrection Sunday" because as the bible tells and believers believe, Jesus was crucified and buried on Friday and on the 3rd day he arose! (that's actually a song we used to sing at church) And ascended into heaven...So I look back at my previous blog, just in my mind actually of what I was dealing with, still somewhat dealing with. I don't know WHY I can't get this freakin' negative monkey off of my back! I was sitting as I was listening to some live jazz looking at the Atlanta skyline and had a quick internal convo that went something like this:
Me 1: Nissa
Me 2: Yes?
1: You know you weren't born and raised in Atlanta, right?
2: Yes?
1: You remember the hunger you had when you first moved here to do something different?
2: Yes?
1: So why have you put yourself in the same crazy ass rut that you were in before?
2: I don't know.
1: You do realize it's all mental, right?
2: Yes.
1: Ok so now what?
2: Now we fight to get back to why we came here!
So, the most infuriating thing about this is I'm literally going in circles. Circles I'm creating for myself because I'm being connected with so many FREAKIN' people that could get me to the next level but what do I do? Back off and get scared and then I have to start all over again mentally and i'm sick of it. Straight up. If I don't get my objectives done and quit sitting around every year talking about "OH THIS IS MY YEAR!" every new years getting older, i'm a waste of air and space and skin. that's how i feel. Now i'm trying to get my anger to overcome this "fear" that has somehow infested my brain. I didn't used to be like this! I used to speak my next blessing and it would appear. I mean literally that would happen in my younger, fearless days! I need to find a hypnotist to help me stop remembering this fear.
So if Jesus could get up in the name of God and keep his thang going on the next level, then dang it so can I!
Ok so Happy Resurrection Sunday and enjoy this tune on the way out...
http://www.reverbnation.com/annissakelliott/song/15131736-blood-will-never-lose-its-power
~peace and blessings~
yes it is Sunday, Easter Sunday to be exact and also considered "Resurrection Sunday" because as the bible tells and believers believe, Jesus was crucified and buried on Friday and on the 3rd day he arose! (that's actually a song we used to sing at church) And ascended into heaven...So I look back at my previous blog, just in my mind actually of what I was dealing with, still somewhat dealing with. I don't know WHY I can't get this freakin' negative monkey off of my back! I was sitting as I was listening to some live jazz looking at the Atlanta skyline and had a quick internal convo that went something like this:
Me 1: Nissa
Me 2: Yes?
1: You know you weren't born and raised in Atlanta, right?
2: Yes?
1: You remember the hunger you had when you first moved here to do something different?
2: Yes?
1: So why have you put yourself in the same crazy ass rut that you were in before?
2: I don't know.
1: You do realize it's all mental, right?
2: Yes.
1: Ok so now what?
2: Now we fight to get back to why we came here!
So, the most infuriating thing about this is I'm literally going in circles. Circles I'm creating for myself because I'm being connected with so many FREAKIN' people that could get me to the next level but what do I do? Back off and get scared and then I have to start all over again mentally and i'm sick of it. Straight up. If I don't get my objectives done and quit sitting around every year talking about "OH THIS IS MY YEAR!" every new years getting older, i'm a waste of air and space and skin. that's how i feel. Now i'm trying to get my anger to overcome this "fear" that has somehow infested my brain. I didn't used to be like this! I used to speak my next blessing and it would appear. I mean literally that would happen in my younger, fearless days! I need to find a hypnotist to help me stop remembering this fear.
So if Jesus could get up in the name of God and keep his thang going on the next level, then dang it so can I!
Ok so Happy Resurrection Sunday and enjoy this tune on the way out...
http://www.reverbnation.com/annissakelliott/song/15131736-blood-will-never-lose-its-power
~peace and blessings~
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Standing Still...
Hello World...
*Warning: this one is a bit real.....*
My birthday was 6 days ago and I am not 9 years away from 50. Yes i know one shouldn't look so far ahead because you don't know if you'll be here in the next second but i just had to make that quick observation. One thing i try to do is no matter what is happening around me, no matter what my real feelings are at that time I try to type, speak positive vibes into the situation. I figure if I do that I will speak the good stuff into existence and negate whatever crazy stuff I'm currently experiencing. I don't see it as lying to myself I see it as not wallowing in foolishness. Well this time i have to put it out there. I feel like I'm standing still and it's my fault! My decision making skills are NOT the best and for that I don't see myself as ever being the apple of anyone's eye...being a sinner God doesn't even wanna hear you so I guess i'm by myself for real. I've made crazy ass relationship decisions that puts me in a weird position/category..doubt i'll be taken seriously in that either. And now with my "new" so-called audio/sound engineering career. If i'd done like one of my good girlfriends told me to do which was to pay back my student loans little by little with each refund I got I wouldn't be on school hiatus due to some financial issues, I'd still be in school. Again my fault. Bottom line, i'm an idiot. I allowed some dude 8 years older than me (i was about 23 when i met him) talk me out of school, a military career and let his vileness poison my mind that I wasn't going to be able to do anything. But what does that say about me? How weak is my mind? What happened to my common sense? And hell i'm 41 now and still making stupid mistakes; Do I have any common sense?? Seems like to me I'm a waste of space and air...I come to a job every day that, for me, is dead end. I watch my co-workers come and go excited about their engineering/architectural careers and advances and i'm the freakin' office admin. (office manager my ass) there is nothing here for me to advance too! I feel like i'm standing still.
I get around my friends and smile and laugh because I don't want people to know....i guess the real me. when i celebrate with others it makes me forget, at least for a little while. and then i go back to life, back to reality. Lord why am i here? Is there something truly for me to do? Do you really trust me to make a decision for me or anybody else? I feel like I'm standing still...for real. I'm not feeling very good about this lady named Annissa K right now....not at all.
Am I feeling suicidal? Nope but if anything happened (i.e accident) to me, and my cousin has a copy of my will, I have a DNR in place. Don't bring me back here to continue to fuck up. I've already done enough and to tell you the truth, I'm tired.
Now am I continuing to pray and ask God to shake my crazy ass out of this funky ass, depressing mood? Yes I am but I have to be real about it. I just a show watching kids and adults glowingly prospering in their talents and moving forward and still i feel like i'm standing still. This has to get better. It really does.
i'm out...
*Warning: this one is a bit real.....*
My birthday was 6 days ago and I am not 9 years away from 50. Yes i know one shouldn't look so far ahead because you don't know if you'll be here in the next second but i just had to make that quick observation. One thing i try to do is no matter what is happening around me, no matter what my real feelings are at that time I try to type, speak positive vibes into the situation. I figure if I do that I will speak the good stuff into existence and negate whatever crazy stuff I'm currently experiencing. I don't see it as lying to myself I see it as not wallowing in foolishness. Well this time i have to put it out there. I feel like I'm standing still and it's my fault! My decision making skills are NOT the best and for that I don't see myself as ever being the apple of anyone's eye...being a sinner God doesn't even wanna hear you so I guess i'm by myself for real. I've made crazy ass relationship decisions that puts me in a weird position/category..doubt i'll be taken seriously in that either. And now with my "new" so-called audio/sound engineering career. If i'd done like one of my good girlfriends told me to do which was to pay back my student loans little by little with each refund I got I wouldn't be on school hiatus due to some financial issues, I'd still be in school. Again my fault. Bottom line, i'm an idiot. I allowed some dude 8 years older than me (i was about 23 when i met him) talk me out of school, a military career and let his vileness poison my mind that I wasn't going to be able to do anything. But what does that say about me? How weak is my mind? What happened to my common sense? And hell i'm 41 now and still making stupid mistakes; Do I have any common sense?? Seems like to me I'm a waste of space and air...I come to a job every day that, for me, is dead end. I watch my co-workers come and go excited about their engineering/architectural careers and advances and i'm the freakin' office admin. (office manager my ass) there is nothing here for me to advance too! I feel like i'm standing still.
I get around my friends and smile and laugh because I don't want people to know....i guess the real me. when i celebrate with others it makes me forget, at least for a little while. and then i go back to life, back to reality. Lord why am i here? Is there something truly for me to do? Do you really trust me to make a decision for me or anybody else? I feel like I'm standing still...for real. I'm not feeling very good about this lady named Annissa K right now....not at all.
Am I feeling suicidal? Nope but if anything happened (i.e accident) to me, and my cousin has a copy of my will, I have a DNR in place. Don't bring me back here to continue to fuck up. I've already done enough and to tell you the truth, I'm tired.
Now am I continuing to pray and ask God to shake my crazy ass out of this funky ass, depressing mood? Yes I am but I have to be real about it. I just a show watching kids and adults glowingly prospering in their talents and moving forward and still i feel like i'm standing still. This has to get better. It really does.
i'm out...
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Let the celebration continue...
Hello World...
So in 49 minutes I will have lived for 14,965 days....I can't believe it's happened again so soon! It always seems like the monthly count down is so freaking far away but then the next thing you know it's the day before and then the day, and then the day after. It just goes to show you that life goes on even if you aren't paying attention.
I love the fact that I have lived this long. I sit and briefly think about how there were a few times I didn't want to be here....like literally...and between constant prayer, some couch time and some friends that God has used to say and do things even when they didn't realize and I'd never and have never said anything to them. I just take it all in stride and learn my lessons and keep it moving!
Right now i'm on a small sabbatical from GSU due to some financial issues, getting some training/internships in the sound engineering area, still working to gear up my confidence level in singing again and i'd love to play the piano again, somewhat close to what I used to and then learn some more. Music makes me smile.
I am noticing that i'm losing energy these days but I am in better shape/tone than before. So I just need to continue to do what's necessary to stay on top of everything. I love celebrating and this year I said I was going to do just that with EVERYbody, i mean i love my birthday and my sign (Aries) but I just love celebrating period!
To those that bring positive energy in my life, I thank you. I love you and appreciate what you bring into my personal space.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Celebrating Life - Road Trip!
Hello World....
*Click Here*
Life is what you make you it!!! you should be rocking and smiling right now as you read these words..So this year will be "41" for me. March 21st is my actual birthdate but starting a few years back i started celebrating from March 1st with my Pisces birthday month folks mainly because my day is the first day of Aries meaning i'm a cusp baby and plus i just like birthdays..mine and everybody elses! LOL! But as I get older, I start thinking about other significances of celebrating things. And I started thinking about how a young college student would feel when she's about to give birth in about 3 weeks and on top of that was hoping that she'd be getting her degree not getting a daughter. So there's a LOT of emotion going on in her life, in her head. So as my life outlook changes so do my celebration reasons!
This weekend began this year's life celebration and it includes attending a wedding of one of my girlfriends that i met in Atlanta. We have 2 AWESOME things in common: We are both from Texas and we are both Dallas Cowboys fans!! *CB4L* She has found her prince charming and I get the privilege of witnessing it. I met her through a group of friends and i like for ALL of my friends to know each other so i ended up road tripping with another friend....welp! I'll have to pick up these thoughts later......
Ok i'm baaaack!!!! I tell you what, when you are single and pretty much do everything alone, specifically road trips, you never know what habits that you have that could be bothersome until you travel with someone else. One thing I notice is I tend to (for whatever reason) allow myself to be corrected about something I do/am doing and i'll apologize for it but when someone does something I just ignore it/adjust to the new environment and keep it moving. I don't know if that makes me a push over or what...but I have to believe that if someone has proven to be a friend, truly stepping in to assist me during a time of need, that the personality difference is just that. A personality difference. I experienced some stuff during this road trip that could have genuinely hurt my feelings back in the day but I had to keep the fact that this was a part of my life celebration going in my head. I did find myself shutting down emotionally because I was literally told in stereo that I talk too much. So I shut it down and allowed a reunion to happen, funny enough when i shut it down i was then told that it made the scene awkward. i laughed it off but i'm thinking "you want me to stop talking, right? So i did...i'm over it.". No hard feelings I just now know new information....AND I see/know some habits that I have that I have to modify when i'm not rolling solo....enough said.
NOW, to describe the wedding weekend!!! It was MARVE-lous!!! I got a chance to see some of my family, me and my ATL homegirl/road trip partner stayed with my cousin and his family one night (Friday) and checked into the hotel where the wedding party was for Saturday. The wedding was at 4pm, we stepped up in there at about 4:30...LOL...luckily my girl (the bride) had a delay and we got there on time! LOL!! Thank you Kalilah!! The ceremony was BEAU-TI-FUL, all weekend me and my homegirl had an impromptu photoshoot...I have to say that gal was on it with her fashion! We had fun!!! Then on to the reception at Sneaky Pete's! OMG! I still see that name and giggle. We had a blast! The reception was soooo much fun! Family/friends were positive and then at the end...the DJ overloaded us on line dances! I did some I knew and learned a few too! LOVE IT!!!!! So on the way back we took some pics as we crossed state lines which put a tad bit of a delay in our return to the ATL but it was worth it. Although i did learn a new travel law...that you can split up a hotel bill and pay via two different credit cards but can't do the same thing for a rental car. *interesting*
Overall...All in all I had a blast and was happy that I made my way to Texas to witness my girl get hitched! Great road trip!!
I will continue to blog about my birthday/life celebration as the days go by...... March 1st to April 19th
*Click Here*
Life is what you make you it!!! you should be rocking and smiling right now as you read these words..So this year will be "41" for me. March 21st is my actual birthdate but starting a few years back i started celebrating from March 1st with my Pisces birthday month folks mainly because my day is the first day of Aries meaning i'm a cusp baby and plus i just like birthdays..mine and everybody elses! LOL! But as I get older, I start thinking about other significances of celebrating things. And I started thinking about how a young college student would feel when she's about to give birth in about 3 weeks and on top of that was hoping that she'd be getting her degree not getting a daughter. So there's a LOT of emotion going on in her life, in her head. So as my life outlook changes so do my celebration reasons!
This weekend began this year's life celebration and it includes attending a wedding of one of my girlfriends that i met in Atlanta. We have 2 AWESOME things in common: We are both from Texas and we are both Dallas Cowboys fans!! *CB4L* She has found her prince charming and I get the privilege of witnessing it. I met her through a group of friends and i like for ALL of my friends to know each other so i ended up road tripping with another friend....welp! I'll have to pick up these thoughts later......
Ok i'm baaaack!!!! I tell you what, when you are single and pretty much do everything alone, specifically road trips, you never know what habits that you have that could be bothersome until you travel with someone else. One thing I notice is I tend to (for whatever reason) allow myself to be corrected about something I do/am doing and i'll apologize for it but when someone does something I just ignore it/adjust to the new environment and keep it moving. I don't know if that makes me a push over or what...but I have to believe that if someone has proven to be a friend, truly stepping in to assist me during a time of need, that the personality difference is just that. A personality difference. I experienced some stuff during this road trip that could have genuinely hurt my feelings back in the day but I had to keep the fact that this was a part of my life celebration going in my head. I did find myself shutting down emotionally because I was literally told in stereo that I talk too much. So I shut it down and allowed a reunion to happen, funny enough when i shut it down i was then told that it made the scene awkward. i laughed it off but i'm thinking "you want me to stop talking, right? So i did...i'm over it.". No hard feelings I just now know new information....AND I see/know some habits that I have that I have to modify when i'm not rolling solo....enough said.
NOW, to describe the wedding weekend!!! It was MARVE-lous!!! I got a chance to see some of my family, me and my ATL homegirl/road trip partner stayed with my cousin and his family one night (Friday) and checked into the hotel where the wedding party was for Saturday. The wedding was at 4pm, we stepped up in there at about 4:30...LOL...luckily my girl (the bride) had a delay and we got there on time! LOL!! Thank you Kalilah!! The ceremony was BEAU-TI-FUL, all weekend me and my homegirl had an impromptu photoshoot...I have to say that gal was on it with her fashion! We had fun!!! Then on to the reception at Sneaky Pete's! OMG! I still see that name and giggle. We had a blast! The reception was soooo much fun! Family/friends were positive and then at the end...the DJ overloaded us on line dances! I did some I knew and learned a few too! LOVE IT!!!!! So on the way back we took some pics as we crossed state lines which put a tad bit of a delay in our return to the ATL but it was worth it. Although i did learn a new travel law...that you can split up a hotel bill and pay via two different credit cards but can't do the same thing for a rental car. *interesting*
Overall...All in all I had a blast and was happy that I made my way to Texas to witness my girl get hitched! Great road trip!!
I will continue to blog about my birthday/life celebration as the days go by...... March 1st to April 19th
Friday, February 22, 2013
Still Pushing...
Hello World...
Well I'm still Expecting nothing but GREATNESS!! My mindset has tried to backslide to what I used to struggle with but I refuse to let it. I will fight tooth and nail to keep myself going forward! In a few weeks I will be celebrating my 41st birthday, I'm a spring baby, first day of Aries, March 21st but I start celebrating on March 1st with the Pisces. One other thing I have come to realize is that during that time 41 years ago as a young college student hoping to finally escape the confinements of living in the country my mother was looking to escape to something new and was not really looking forward to becoming a mother even though she was madly in love with a fellow PVU classmate. She was looking forward to marching across the stage grabbing that piece of paper that said "Bachelors in Nursing" and who knows what else she would have done. But her plans were put on hold and she chose to love the little thing that was wriggling around in her stomach a lot more around March 1st, that came out screaming (i think) March 21st and that turned a month old April 19th; the last day of the Aries sign and the last day of my life celebration. That thought pattern just came to me today, I'm looking at life via a much much bigger picture! For that reason, I have a renewed reason to keep pushing and fulfill my destiny.
So I still push...this word also has another definition:
P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Something Happens
This year is looking up for me! And MY prayer for YOU and YOUR family is to keep pushing! Keep moving forward no matter what! I speak peace and comfort over your household right now in Jesus name! Be encouraged, there is a song that says sometimes you have to encourage yourself...basically look in the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are! I've been seeing different FB posts stating that if other people spoke to us the way that we internally and externally spoke to ourselves that we'd want to fight so the question presented is "then why do you talk to yourself with such negativity?". Watch what you say, what you put into the universe. What is the universe you ask? It's your mental, it's your mind, we tend to relive verbal statements and our whole body and mind will react like it happened for real. Put the positive stuff out there, put it in your universe, recall the great stuff, leave the negative stuff along. Love yourself!
P.U.S.H.
I think that's all I have to say tonight....
Celebrate life with me from March 1st to April 19th
and
Keep on Pushing!!
~~Peace and Blessings~~
Well I'm still Expecting nothing but GREATNESS!! My mindset has tried to backslide to what I used to struggle with but I refuse to let it. I will fight tooth and nail to keep myself going forward! In a few weeks I will be celebrating my 41st birthday, I'm a spring baby, first day of Aries, March 21st but I start celebrating on March 1st with the Pisces. One other thing I have come to realize is that during that time 41 years ago as a young college student hoping to finally escape the confinements of living in the country my mother was looking to escape to something new and was not really looking forward to becoming a mother even though she was madly in love with a fellow PVU classmate. She was looking forward to marching across the stage grabbing that piece of paper that said "Bachelors in Nursing" and who knows what else she would have done. But her plans were put on hold and she chose to love the little thing that was wriggling around in her stomach a lot more around March 1st, that came out screaming (i think) March 21st and that turned a month old April 19th; the last day of the Aries sign and the last day of my life celebration. That thought pattern just came to me today, I'm looking at life via a much much bigger picture! For that reason, I have a renewed reason to keep pushing and fulfill my destiny.
So I still push...this word also has another definition:
P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Something Happens
This year is looking up for me! And MY prayer for YOU and YOUR family is to keep pushing! Keep moving forward no matter what! I speak peace and comfort over your household right now in Jesus name! Be encouraged, there is a song that says sometimes you have to encourage yourself...basically look in the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are! I've been seeing different FB posts stating that if other people spoke to us the way that we internally and externally spoke to ourselves that we'd want to fight so the question presented is "then why do you talk to yourself with such negativity?". Watch what you say, what you put into the universe. What is the universe you ask? It's your mental, it's your mind, we tend to relive verbal statements and our whole body and mind will react like it happened for real. Put the positive stuff out there, put it in your universe, recall the great stuff, leave the negative stuff along. Love yourself!
P.U.S.H.
I think that's all I have to say tonight....
Celebrate life with me from March 1st to April 19th
and
Keep on Pushing!!
~~Peace and Blessings~~
Saturday, February 2, 2013
People....Make you keep on pushing
Hello World....
When you are trying to live your dream, you run into people that are willing to show you the ropes, assist in any way they can and theeeeeen you run into people who do the opposite. i'm seeing this watching other people who are making it happen. I know negativity will hit you where you're weakest. I think my biggest obstacle is negative thinking and vibes. I'm a naturally friendly person, my name [Annissa]means "to be friendly; grace and favour" so when people pretend to be a friendly person and then put the brakes on without notice, it hurts my feelings just a little. There is a part of me that is sensitive to that type of treatment.
Anyway, I will keep on pushing (in the words of curtis mayfield) no matter what, it just really trips me out when folks act up. I've said it before and i say it again - when i ask the Lord to remove folks from my life and they leave they are gone for good and i'll leave them alone.
**acknowledgement**
Curtis Mayfield - Keep on pushing link via Youtube.com
When it's all said and done...i am responsible for my happiness so i will have to learn to control my sensitivity if i'm going to make it. At the end of the day God has my back and that's all that matters.
*peace and blessings*
When you are trying to live your dream, you run into people that are willing to show you the ropes, assist in any way they can and theeeeeen you run into people who do the opposite. i'm seeing this watching other people who are making it happen. I know negativity will hit you where you're weakest. I think my biggest obstacle is negative thinking and vibes. I'm a naturally friendly person, my name [Annissa]means "to be friendly; grace and favour" so when people pretend to be a friendly person and then put the brakes on without notice, it hurts my feelings just a little. There is a part of me that is sensitive to that type of treatment.
Anyway, I will keep on pushing (in the words of curtis mayfield) no matter what, it just really trips me out when folks act up. I've said it before and i say it again - when i ask the Lord to remove folks from my life and they leave they are gone for good and i'll leave them alone.
Looka look look a yonder, what's that I see, a great big stone wall standing there ahead of me but i've got my pride and i'll move along the side and keep on pushing
hallelujah! hallelujah!
keep on pushing!
**acknowledgement**
Curtis Mayfield - Keep on pushing link via Youtube.com
When it's all said and done...i am responsible for my happiness so i will have to learn to control my sensitivity if i'm going to make it. At the end of the day God has my back and that's all that matters.
*peace and blessings*
Monday, January 14, 2013
2013 it is....
Hello World...
I promised myself i'd do one black tie event a month and I started last night! yaaaaay!! 2013 will be a new, refreshing year for a BUNCH of people, myself included of course! I got a chance to go to the 2013 Georgia Entertainment Gala - a 1st annual event! I got to rub shoulders with Georgia's who's who and thanks to my friend Shawn Foote of CFox Productions, a crazy incident (i broke my shoe) was turned into a moment to gather and laugh and talk with other people. We turned the area we were standing into the "shoes off" area. LOL! Thank you Shawn!! As I left the event with shoe and a half in hand heading to the valet to get my silver vroom vroom, I had a great grin on my face (sigh) however I now realize I missed some great photo ops of some great folks that i hugged last night! Dang it!! :-( I have to start thinking on my "photo op" feet.
Oh well. It is what it is for that one.....however going forward, I WILL do better. :-)
Ok gotta start this week with a BANG!!!
**Peace and blessings!**
I promised myself i'd do one black tie event a month and I started last night! yaaaaay!! 2013 will be a new, refreshing year for a BUNCH of people, myself included of course! I got a chance to go to the 2013 Georgia Entertainment Gala - a 1st annual event! I got to rub shoulders with Georgia's who's who and thanks to my friend Shawn Foote of CFox Productions, a crazy incident (i broke my shoe) was turned into a moment to gather and laugh and talk with other people. We turned the area we were standing into the "shoes off" area. LOL! Thank you Shawn!! As I left the event with shoe and a half in hand heading to the valet to get my silver vroom vroom, I had a great grin on my face (sigh) however I now realize I missed some great photo ops of some great folks that i hugged last night! Dang it!! :-( I have to start thinking on my "photo op" feet.
Oh well. It is what it is for that one.....however going forward, I WILL do better. :-)
Ok gotta start this week with a BANG!!!
**Peace and blessings!**
 |
| ~~The broken shoe - The End~~ |
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Sliding Doors....
Hello World...
So I'm watching "Sliding Doors" and if you haven't seen it, you should. If you like drama and a GREAT, solid storyline you should see it. It's an older one that came out in '98 but very very very good!
The basic storyline (without giving it away) is a lady goes to work and gets laid off. The story splits when she leaves, one version of herself makes the train to go home, the other version misses the train and has to catch a cab home. That's when it gets interesting. It makes one think of the choices we make and what other tasks we'd end up doing. At one point, Gwyneth Paltrow's character passes by a place that both versions of her character are near and has a case of deja vu. It's as if her spirit senses that she's supposed to be there. The catch is in one scene she's talking to a friend about being tired at work and in the other scene she's on a boat on the river cheering on a new guy friend. Clearly having more fun. That just made me think about our life choices.
Anyway, maybe it's just me. Hope your 2013 is going well...Remember to Expect Greatness!!!
*peace and blessings*
So I'm watching "Sliding Doors" and if you haven't seen it, you should. If you like drama and a GREAT, solid storyline you should see it. It's an older one that came out in '98 but very very very good!
The basic storyline (without giving it away) is a lady goes to work and gets laid off. The story splits when she leaves, one version of herself makes the train to go home, the other version misses the train and has to catch a cab home. That's when it gets interesting. It makes one think of the choices we make and what other tasks we'd end up doing. At one point, Gwyneth Paltrow's character passes by a place that both versions of her character are near and has a case of deja vu. It's as if her spirit senses that she's supposed to be there. The catch is in one scene she's talking to a friend about being tired at work and in the other scene she's on a boat on the river cheering on a new guy friend. Clearly having more fun. That just made me think about our life choices.
Anyway, maybe it's just me. Hope your 2013 is going well...Remember to Expect Greatness!!!
*peace and blessings*
Thursday, January 3, 2013
It's a new year of GREATNESS!
Hello World...
2013 came in for me with awesome music and a great group of people! I was in volunteer mode for the Ken Ford 70s NYE concert and we had a BLAST!!!!
All last year I asked for a reset button..."Lord give me a reset button to stop this negativity...Lord i wish i could go back in time to stop the negativity" and guess what i got it!! It's so weird, my mindset is so different right now! Nope I'm not walking around hollering "BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED" every second and grinning like a zoned out zombie but my mindset about life is really different right now! I'm accepting the consequences of some actions I did or didn't do last year and moving forward. Either way I'm going to be blessed, no time to cry about what should've been done...it's TOO late!
This year is greatness, period. I'm not doing anything else. No self-pity, nothing. I'm stepping up to plate and handling business. Get in where you fit in..And I got my ticket to the 2013 Entertainment Gala...You better get yours!!! I WILL be in the building!! Now I have to find me a winter formal.
Peace and love...Love ya'll - Nissa K
2013 came in for me with awesome music and a great group of people! I was in volunteer mode for the Ken Ford 70s NYE concert and we had a BLAST!!!!
All last year I asked for a reset button..."Lord give me a reset button to stop this negativity...Lord i wish i could go back in time to stop the negativity" and guess what i got it!! It's so weird, my mindset is so different right now! Nope I'm not walking around hollering "BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED" every second and grinning like a zoned out zombie but my mindset about life is really different right now! I'm accepting the consequences of some actions I did or didn't do last year and moving forward. Either way I'm going to be blessed, no time to cry about what should've been done...it's TOO late!
This year is greatness, period. I'm not doing anything else. No self-pity, nothing. I'm stepping up to plate and handling business. Get in where you fit in..And I got my ticket to the 2013 Entertainment Gala...You better get yours!!! I WILL be in the building!! Now I have to find me a winter formal.
Peace and love...Love ya'll - Nissa K
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