Saturday, January 13, 2018

Hello world....

I'm not having a good day at all.  Shit is just wack.  I was talking to a friend of mine and this text that I never sent to him made me realize something.  I'll share only because no one pays attention to this blog anyway so no one will know.....
"Welp. That last conversation was embarrassing.  Yes my whole current life/situation is because of choices I've made so I can only be upset at me.  I can only be frustrated with me.  Nope i haven't created the best situation, but I'm attempting to move my mindset in a different direction.  Thinking & planning on a positive plan on a different plane.  Yet even with all of that and being positive and just keeping my head up & attempting to not think negatively about myself, spiritual & all I'm still human.  I'm looking in the mirror & I'm not liking who I see.  I'm sure the easy, quick response is fix it! That is easy for someone else to say, it's deeper than a quick fix and I'm not sure I'll ever figure out how to fix it.  The depression that I've fought my whole life is finally coming full circle, bubbling to the surface and I don't know how I'm about to handle this.  The common denominator of my problems is me.  The root of the problem is me.  If I'm no longer here, the problems would go away.  The world would be the better for it.  I'm sure of it.  I probably won't send this to you.  I'm not even sure how you even see me.  After today's convo, you probably wouldn't mind disconnecting.  I'll probably never bring this up again but it's abuzz in my mental space.  I'll just continue on with life fighting to push through, pretending to be happy 100% of the time vs the true 15% of the time. I pray that God sends me an angel, this time this isn't looking good.
*Peace & blessings*
~Nissa k~"

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Is there a restart button?

Hello World....

Hadn't posted in a really long time but I have to say that if I'm EVER presented with a chance to just restart my life somewhere I'm going!  New identity...maybe a brain wash and stronger personality..a different me.  I seem to have become a proverbial punching bag.  I notice that there are some that don't mind saying certain things to me and just moving on as if it's all good...oh but if I treated them the same way it would be a problem!

If the rapture came today...I'd be happy...I hope I'd get to join but oh well....even with the outside events that I'm a part of, I've become complacent professionally and comfortable and miserable.

"get up off my butt!" you say? easier said than done... "make a vision board" you say...ok and then what...I still have to take action.  There is a reason I never remarried, the examples I've experienced seem to include men that have a mean edginess to walking around on eggshells because you're scared that the next thing that you say will make 'em pop off...oh but THEY can say what the fuk EVER to me. (geesh!)    Apparently there is something in me that keeps attracting these types...I mean I like the driven part that they have but it's the mean side that is not appealing of course.

Is there a restart button?  If so, point me to it...I'm ready to beam out of here....depression is slowly taking over.

No uplifting words on the way out..I'm just tired.  If you actually follow this blog, you'll see it..but I'm not sharing it.

I's tired boss.....I's tired.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Hello World...Product Review...Miss Jessie's Jelly Soft Curls...

Hello World...

This is my first time doing a product review.  I am a naturalista with what are called "tight, kinky curls".  These are the curls that create some of the most awesome afros and lots of people purchase hair pieces and wigs to recreate the look.  You'd think that those of us with these cute little curlies would be totally ecstatic BUT just everyone else, you always look at someone else's hair and wish yours was like that.  For us it's probably the wish of a looser curl.  eh...I used to wish that and even allowed myself to get a texturizer process done on my hair which loosens the curl JUST a bit but since it's a type of chemical process it wears off and the hair reverts back to your natural curl.  It's not the Jheri Curl, I've never had one of those although I probably should have because back in the day I wore a relaxer which is what put some serious damage on my follicles.  So between the two chemical processes, the Jheri Curl is more healthy. But I digress.

So I fully embrace my natural curls and love the fact that I can wear my hair in so many different curl patterns and styles.  I LOVE it!  But the one thing, for me anyway, that is sometimes the most nerve wrecking is finding the right moisturizer and conditioner that gives us the right curl  pop.  What is "curl pop" you ask?  It is when YOUR curl definition just POPS!  So normally when we get our hair shampooed or just wet, the definition is there you can see how curly or wavy or whatever your hair is while it's wet.  But the biggest issue about those of us with tight curls is that once the hair dries, our curls kinda  go into this shrunken frizz, the curls are still there but no longer defined.  There are a lot of products on the shelves for our sisters with the finer, looser curl or wave but not so much for us with the kinky hair.  I've tried a few different products, i'm not quite a product junkie BUT I've tried a few and the only product line that has consistently defined my curlies is Miss Jessie's products.

I started out with their butter creme for moisture and definition that I used with a different leave-in conditioner because they didn't have one at that time.  Well just recently, today actually, I felt like doing a wash and go for work.  I'm currently wearing a short cut that my barber keeps neat so I can easily do a wash and quick fluff and roll out.  So I attend different hair/fashion events where we get goodie bags with neat items which include Miss Jessie's stuff ALL of the time.  So I've had this product, Jelly Soft Curls in my drawer for a minute BUT because my coils don't really care for EVERYthing I was a little nervous about using it.  I wasn't sure that my coils would pop like the description promised.  Boy was I wrong and boy was I glad I was wrong!  I wet my hair and evenly distributed the product as directed and noticed the cute little curlies start to form but didn't get excited because I see this all the time.  BUT I noticed as my hair got drier the curls and a lot of the length stayed. I got a teeny bit excited but figured I'd check my kinkies once I got to work just to see and the definition is still there!  Even as I write this, I still have definition which is why I even thought to do a product review.

So to my fellow tight curled natural sistahs, if you are looking for a product line to try I do recommend Miss Jessie's.  I suggest you get a sampler don't spend a lot of money on full sized items.  Actually the best thing to do is to go to your nearest natural hair salon and get a consultation.  What is a consultation?  This is when the stylist sits you in the chair and discusses your natural hair with you, advise on your type and try out a few products on your tresses.  Not your whole head, just a few strands here and there so YOU can see how your curls react.  These are normally free OR the stylist will have a charge which will go towards product purchase and/or a style.

Hope you try it out and enjoy!

Peace and blessings.....

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Keep on Keeping On....

Hello World...

What's on my mind....that's the opening phrase that facebook gives you.....
I remember when I had a list of things I wanted to learn to do as I grew up....The world was mine...I couldn't wait to grow up!

Thanks to my Granny I was already a musician by 12, I was singing in church at a young age, I wanted to learn foreign languages, wanted to fly helicopters, airplanes, wanted to be a mom, a wife...the world fascinated me. My uncles were in the military which made want to travel the world like they did which I attempted but my DNA gave me full blown rheumatoid arthritis (RA) at a very early age and it's no need to stay in the military if ya can't fire ya weapon. just staying.
But then somewhere along the lines of life my creativity and vision was muted and I was just existing....zombie-like state (and i don't even like zombies), still today a lot of my life is just existing. But EVERY now and then I encounter an individual or individuals that tap on my spirit man and she wakes up and remembers who I wanted to become.
Slowly but surely I'm heading back towards that original path. I have to dust off my journals and read what I planned and jump back into life. I thank the Universe for connecting me with people that are moving and grooving and make me move and groove. When i encounter them I have two options..wake up and join the movement OR close my eyes to my own vision and choke to death. I think I prefer the first option.

 Moral of this #share ? I hope someone is encouraged to keep on keeping on. Is my life perfect? nope. Was my upbringing perfect? not at all. You see me smiling and laughing and encouraging those that I encounter and that's my way of some self-therapy. I figure if I encourage someone else I'll hear my own words and be encouraged too.
I still need couch time to drill through a BUNCH of stuff. BUT guess what I still have to live and explore, I still have to live a stable life and you do too! Anyone reading this having issues....I encourage you to use the positive energy around you to figure out a way to balance everything, use your encounters to balance your issues. you need a quick cry and pit party..yes by all means take a break and cleanse...but then jump back up and enjoy your life!

And believe me I'm talking to myself as I'm talking to you......

Peace and Blessings.....

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Natural Hair...Braids....A new thing?

Hello World...

It's been a while since you've heard from this blogger.  The reason for today's blog is an article from MTV UK posted by the Grio that gave credit for corn row braids to Kim Kardashian, oh wait I mean "boxer braids".    As a kinky texture having individual that has worn braids all 43 (almost 44) years of my life, I am a little ticked off by this article because african americans have been getting flack about our kinky hair all of our existence.  Our African ancestors/elders led the way in the creativity of our kinky crowns and gave us the playbook on how to handle our tresses.

I have an unforgettable memory, as a little girl I asked my cousin Vickie to braid my hair like Peaches of  "Peaches and Herb" with the beads.  I think my mom was taking me to get pictures done at Sears or Montgomery Wards or somewhere like that so I had to be cute.  Well this was 1979(i was 7) and the movie "10" had come out and Bo Derek wears braids in the movie so the photographer says "oh you have your hair like Bo Derek?" I looked at him in shock and amazement and said "No! Like Peaches from Peaches and Herb!" he did a nervous laugh and continued on with his job.  I'm sure he had no idea who I was speaking of.
R&B duo "Peaches & Herb"

R&B artist "Patrice Rushen"

If you look at ALL of our colored, negro, black, african american entertainers, our everyday family and friends pictures, we rock locs, braids, afros and receive nothing but flack about it especially in corporate america and the military.  Our hair is called "nappy" which is as bad as the big "N-word" to me although some have embraced the word and made it an awesome description, I just cannot.   OH but let "someone else" wear the same style and the world goes bananas as if it's the next best thing since sliced bread.  And this didn't start just now, looking back at early movies created about the bible stories which happened in Africa (in real life) they use non-african actors/actresses, with kinky wigs and braid wigs, as the main characters with of course actors of african descent depicting the slave roles.  Yep they paint their faces brown/bronze and hire the ones born with kinky hair and brown skin to be... the help (pun intended).  I've never really dwelled on this because it's a part of a brown skinned person's life, to know that the world will forever try to knock our self-esteem down but this topic keeps coming back to me so I had to put my words to proverbial paper.  It's almost a tad bit comical watching and listening to other criticize us.  Why?  Because the reality is that we are "the shit" and they take our ideas, our looks and use it for their own and get their plastic surgeons to re-create it.  (as close as they can come to it anyway).    Oh but Halloween is THE day that our natural hair, curves and everything else is put out front, this time as a joke.  Yes some of our beloved non-black brothers and sisters find it hilarious to put on wigs, butt pads and other crazy looking accessories to pretend to be some sort of african american character.  So sad.
Elizabeth Taylor as the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra
Braid wig - Halloween Costume

Back to lecture at hand, I emailed MTV UK about the article expressing my disappointment and they responded.  Their response was even more disappointing and dismissive, I almost feel like they listed my points as a formality but verbally patted me on the head as if to say "There, there little black American person, we understand your point but these are "boxer braids" and they are made popular recently by these two caucasian ladies.  That's our opinion and deal with it.  Cheers."  My spirit man's facial expression...

Yes this email conversation really happened, check it out.  Page 1 is my initial comment at the bottom and MTV UK's response at the top.  Page 2 is my second statement, which apparently did not warrant a response.  Yes this was last month and every time I try to just Let it gooo (you sang that.. lol), something else comes to my attention about this same topic.   Go ahead and read it:

This topic probably does not bother any of the younger generations (and some of the older ones) but I've lived long enough to see and experience face-to-face discrimation.  Made fun of for being too black, hair too nappy, etc and then to see the same group of thought start to inject and tan themselves to mimic the things they once ridiculed...AND situations like this where they take our styles that, again, were publicly ridiculed and have the audacity to make it their own is hilariously sad.  Now, I'm sure there are some reading this that will say "Hey lady,  this is a UK news outlet printing this, they aren't aware of your US history."  My response to that is "WWW".  Do you know what that stands for? World Wide Web.  The internet allows us access to everything about everybody, the African history is a little different in how they were treated in the UK vs the US but no excuse because the information is there.

I've stopped believing that this mindset will ever change, I mean the mindset that sees those of African descent as second class citizens.  Why? Because hatred is taught and learned and the country's behavior towards our current President Obama and First Lady Michelle AND the current Presidential election shows front and center that racism is still alive and kicking.  Yes, the blog topic is about a hairstyle but the sentiment behind it goes much deeper....all the way back to our ancestors.

Let me make this perfectly clear....I don't care WHO wears the style everyone wears braids..but don't give credit where credit isn't due.  That's just wrong on so many levels.  It's like coming to an inhabited country and claiming it as your own....oh wait...that sounds familiar.

Keep living, keep moving forward and keep hope alive....

Peace and Love...
~Are you a female blogger? Are you a female working in the arts? Check out these two support organizations: Women With Gifts   SHECreatediT ~

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The Grio - Boxer Braids
WikiPedia - Cornrows
WikiPedia - Peaches and Herb
WikiPedia - Bo Derek
WikiPedia - Patrice Rushen

Saturday, January 2, 2016

New Year....New Plan

Hello World.....

It's been a minute since my last entry.  I think about 7 months.  Long enough to be almost about to deliver a baby. LOL!

Well Happy New Year to you! :-D (click here for today's soundtrack)

It's a new year and I have a new and improved plan.  I asked the Lord to keep from being stagnant and allow me to be in a scenario to pull my gifts and talents out of me and let "44" be a very nice experience for me.  And ALL types of things started happening.  The only thing that can keep me from succeeding with everything is this chick right here...this chic typing this entry.

I implore you to get a team around you that constantly pushes you to be your very best!  I truly believe in the statement "if you are the smartest in your group of friends, you need new friends."  

This is going to be a short one....happy new year to you and yours!  ((hugs)) and peace in the middle east!

Peace and Blessings....

~Are you a female blogger? Are you a female working in the arts? Check out these two support organizations: Women With Gifts   SHECreatediT ~

This blogger can be reached at

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Magic Memories Photography

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I'm THAT girl....

Hello World...

The content of this blog post carried me through may dreams last night...well gave me at least an idea.  I've been blessed to experience some wonderful times and have created some memories that will forever bring a sly smile to my lips. (Click here to jam with me while you read...) and to put you in my mindset.

It started me to thinking MORE about the type of guy that would connect and vibe with me.  So I started thinking about what type of person am I?  Folks ask "so what's your type" all the time but it really depends on what energy YOU are giving out.  So I started to recall my upbringing.  I'm a country girl from a small Texas German town....hmmmm yes let that marinate.  I grew up on ALL music genres I LOVE it all.  I got baptized in the music world at an early age (age 3 to be exact, thanks Granny). Thanks to my Granny Clara Elliott, I can read music and was able to develop my ear.  My granny was the oldest of 10 and had her own brood.  My mom is one of 10 with older and younger siblings that I loved to hang out with.  Wisdom and Fun and that includes my older cousins who were more like big brothers and sisters.  So now...what was I exposed to?

  • Music
  • Cars
  • Electronics
  • Tree Climbing
  • 10 acres to roam/run/ride
  • Free flowing country living
  • Fishing
  • Some girly stuff (which I didnt really latch onto...i'm not a prissy, shopping chic)
So as a grown azz woman what type of person did I grow into?  A lady that likes to be around positive, open-minded, focused people.  When I hang around guys, my immediate thought is NOT oooo he's boyfriend material...I grew up kicking with the male people so I'm just kicking it like everybody else.  GREAT bodyguards when/if the time comes. LOL!  I'm that girl that can be cute, hang with the guys, jam to music, can talk cars and a few other hobbies and things.  I like it ALL!  Yes I'm THAT girl.  I don't need the labels, I don't need the purses.  Give me a good quality made piece of luggage or purse that will last while I roam.

Now, I've grown to appreciate my curves since they aren't going anywhere so, uuuh yeah there's that (Shamless less plug: The Lyngale Agency for models 40 & Over).  And shouts out to my trainer - Curtis Supreme Fitness for keeping me right! (if i can just stay obedient and consistent. LOL)

I'm that girl that can go camping and knows to pack the off spray, a can opener, soup, a pop-up tent will do and can do a survival stint if need be...thanks to my military training (Shouts out USAF - 610th SPS).  What type of girl am I?  One that enjoys it ALL.

NOW....what type of dude appeals to me?  One that can flow and vibe with me and keep me interested.  My Aries sign seems to reiterate that and I'm finding that same personality trait with fellow Aries!  I can't deal with someone that is looking to lock me down and stifle my creativity, hell I do enough stifling on my own with my few bouts of self-doubt I don't need assistance in that area.  I don't do controlling dudes, I've experienced that and it's not fun!  What trips me out is that there are guys out there who plot to control women due to their lack of proper upbringing.  What a scary thing!  No, what I need is someone that will inspire me to do something else.  Give me some ideas with what to do with my current skillset AND do MORE!!  I'm THAT girl and I'm waiting on THAT dude!  Oh man it's going to be SO freakin' awesome when we finally link up!  I'm excited!  Lemme tell you I've come in contact with some that are VEEEEEEEERY nice.  So I know I'm up for something great!

My words of wisdom today ladies and gents....think about who you are and what you've grown into and instead of looking for the best looking specimen and always thinking you need a certain look based on status.  You'd be REAL surprised at what REALLY works for your personality.  Get with who is GREAT for YOU!  I promise you that you will enjoy life when that puzzle piece connects.

So whoever you are SIR...I'm thinking of YOU...and I'll be enhancing my skillset and living the luxury brown until you find me...and then we can continue living and loving life together! :-D

Continue to enjoy life!!  Peace and Blessings....

~Are you a female blogger? Are you a female working in the arts? Check out these two support organizations: Women With Gifts   SHECreatediT ~

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