Hello World...
Happy New Year!!!
The sermon at our celebration service was "How can I get you to stretch?", Bishop preached out of Isaiah 55:15-20. Bottom line, instead of living life in the mediocre...stretch out your faith and live life in the supernatural overflow. Let that be your normal way of living. I had been praying about just this! Nothing like getting confirmation!!
I ran across a sign on FB that says something about having 365 pages to write a new story. I brought it in celebrating life and then my day one started with me cooking a meal and taking it to "Mr. Man" at work and sat down and chit chatted with him at his store. :-) Yep, my first time cooking for Mr. Man...going into 8 months...he ate it all...pages 3-365 will be off tha chain! Page 2: I launched my website last night, annissakaye.wix.com/eatandrinkwithme - honest food reviews only. I'll tell ya if I like it or not. Service AND food. Check out the blog too - eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com.
I vow to stretch...starting with tithing with no thought....and trusting God to do the rest. that's it. Bishop mentioned how simple it was to receive blessings when we were either broke with no job or getting paid very little. Our faith was SOOOO BIG! Then when we get blessed, we forget and start doing stuff our way and then wonder why things go wrong.
I vow to physically stretch too. I've actually stopped and I can FEEL the difference! My poor muscles are all bunched up! I will definitely do better!
No longer living in the mediocre - Not anymore...not over here!
Moral of this story: Happy New Year - S-T-R-E-T-C-H out your faith....don't question the Universer/God/Allah...just do it!!
Peace and Blessings...
~Are you a female blogger? Are you a female working in the arts? Check out these two support organizations: Women With Gifts SHECreatediT ~
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
What does 2013 hold?
Hello World....
*click for theme music*
I made a trip home that i do on a regular basis. At least twice a year i'll get in my vehicle and use 12 hours each way (not including time used to visit) of my life to go see people that i'm connected to via DNA. I can tell you that it can be a hard drive BUT as a kid that did family road trips it's not hard. ANd being raised as pretty much a loner (only child for 15 years) I can do stuff by myself easier than having someone else tagging along. Stopping for gas only since I pack snacks in a cooler. I can sleep where i wanna and when i get to my destination when I can go visit whomever i want without having to worry about someone else being comfortable.
Does that make me sound cold and uncaring?
I don't think so because I'm always loving and caring to all of those around me. I always go out of my way to make sure EVERYone around me is taken care of.....in my days of lowliness and depression I simply duck out of the way of the spotlight and keep it to myself..because honestly no one REALLY wants to help. Right? or Wrong? I don't know I just sometimes feel disconnected from what's happening...people around me have ALL-ways seemed like they knew, have known what they have wanted to do in life and just picked a path and did it. Even with my skills in voice and music that I used to have, there was no REAL push or motivation in that direction besides me knowing i had to be at church. There were high schools that concentrated totally on music but no one saw fit to register me and put me in that. As a minor, how was I supposed to know about ANYthing? Especially after spending a HUGE portion of my life in a small country town.I was about as big as a toothpick and had a nice face back in the day but no one ever told me "hey! you should be a model!" *sigh*
I have two sides. 1. that loves the people that I'm connected to as DNA. i'm an only child and a lot of days in the country with my elderly granny were lonely. i cherished everyday i spent with any cousins. 2. a side that didn't really care for people because i always felt like the butt of some joke that I wasn't privy to. So i spent my life conforming to whatever everybody else was doing. Never felt like whomever i was, was good enough. It wasn't until I got waaaay older that i finally started figuring out my own personality. i have a sense of humor, a dry one. I do have a love for music, i still like to sing, i wish i hadn't let my classical piano training and flute training go to waste. I think (at the age of 40) I have finally figured out what i want to do in life. I've been in a mediocre fog just doing enough to make it through the day and pay bills and enjoy a few things here and there. At the age of 16, something in me gave up and i'd love to go back to that day and re-tap into me and get my motivation back up where it was. There was a time that i said i can do anything and no one could stop me and that's what i did. i don't like being mediocre...i don't like it at all...when i moved here i was about 200 pounds or more and I had some extra extra motivation to do something differernt, first thing was to lose weight. And i got my big, wide ass up and lost the weight AND toned up. that was 8 years ago. i've gained a little back but lost the tone. i keep saying i'm going to lose it, i start up and i don't finish. i have DVDs, i have exercise equipment, I position myself around motivational people that are consistent to try to jump start myself back into being fit. I maintain..but the true motivation is hidden somewhere in this dark muck. I can't stand it. I look in the mirror and see someone that is trying desperately to get her shit together. I just turned 40 and i'm sitting in a college classroom with babies that get it. I JUST now got it. *sigh*
I'm trying to make myself do the right thing! I don't wanna be 46 and still "trying". I like audio engineering stuff..i work with the media ministry at church (gospel tabernacle), i volunteer and hang around musicians who are actually well-known, i got software on my computer that i use to create background vocals to show my skills. i LOVE background singing, I have an ear for harmony and would love to just sing in that capacity and be on the sound board when I'm not singing. I see myself in a condo somewhere kicking it with a husband..wouldn't even mind a kid and a few doggies. (i'm a dog person) i just don't know when/where/how to get there. As a woman that has been scarred by crazy ass, controlling relationships I see relationships as a trap. that's just another issue i'm working thru. one of my biggest objectives is an apartment complex for those that are trying to get back on their feet to give them 6 mos to a year of a roof over their head and a connection back to the work force and/or school. something in me has forgotten because i've gotten bogged down with some other mental bullshit! I gotta get outta this! If i don't 2013 will not be good! i'm just saying. I will be a freakin' zombie! (i hate those movies) I gotta get back to the real Nissa and it's gotta happen soon.
I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ the only son of our Lord who was conceived by the Holy Spirit born to the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified, dead and buried. the 3rd day he arose from the dead and ascended into Heaven and sitteth on the right head of God the Father Almighty........
my fellow AME brethern/sisters recognize that statement above. I believe that God has my back but I also know that if I get in the way He can't do His part. I need to get out of my own way! I have a task to do and I neeeeeeeeed to do it!
2013 will hold me doing more for me. this trip home was less of of people hurrying to greet me and more of me moving around from place to place to greet them. the closeness and the one family unit feel is gone. No one wants to be a one unit anymore. EVERYbody is in it for themselves and effective immediately that means me too. do i miss the old family feel? yep. do i dislike the new individual feel? yep. can i control others? nope. can i control myself? yep. do i have common sense? yep. and i'm going to use it. next stop getting Nissa truly sane. 2013 will be the time of getting my saneness back and love some folks along the way but they won't be my full focus. I always try to put courage and strength in front of me, hence my Aries sign and acknowledgment. as a matter of fact, before 2012 ends, i'll have a tat of my zodiac...my first and last.
I won't be sharing this entry like I do the others, so if you're reading it you were meant to read it. Anybody that doesn't want to be in my personal space or that doesn't want them in mine..consider yourselves released. i can't do it. I won't do it. I release you with no malice towards you (makes sign of the cross). You'll have to now find someone else to laugh about in your spare time, i am no longer the butt of your cosmic joke. KK, Nissa K, Nissa, Annissa, that girl, whatever you called me is o-u-t .....out!
** I'm Okay**
Thank you Father what has happened and what is about to happen. In Jesus name...Amen!
*click for theme music*
I made a trip home that i do on a regular basis. At least twice a year i'll get in my vehicle and use 12 hours each way (not including time used to visit) of my life to go see people that i'm connected to via DNA. I can tell you that it can be a hard drive BUT as a kid that did family road trips it's not hard. ANd being raised as pretty much a loner (only child for 15 years) I can do stuff by myself easier than having someone else tagging along. Stopping for gas only since I pack snacks in a cooler. I can sleep where i wanna and when i get to my destination when I can go visit whomever i want without having to worry about someone else being comfortable.
Does that make me sound cold and uncaring?
I don't think so because I'm always loving and caring to all of those around me. I always go out of my way to make sure EVERYone around me is taken care of.....in my days of lowliness and depression I simply duck out of the way of the spotlight and keep it to myself..because honestly no one REALLY wants to help. Right? or Wrong? I don't know I just sometimes feel disconnected from what's happening...people around me have ALL-ways seemed like they knew, have known what they have wanted to do in life and just picked a path and did it. Even with my skills in voice and music that I used to have, there was no REAL push or motivation in that direction besides me knowing i had to be at church. There were high schools that concentrated totally on music but no one saw fit to register me and put me in that. As a minor, how was I supposed to know about ANYthing? Especially after spending a HUGE portion of my life in a small country town.I was about as big as a toothpick and had a nice face back in the day but no one ever told me "hey! you should be a model!" *sigh*
I have two sides. 1. that loves the people that I'm connected to as DNA. i'm an only child and a lot of days in the country with my elderly granny were lonely. i cherished everyday i spent with any cousins. 2. a side that didn't really care for people because i always felt like the butt of some joke that I wasn't privy to. So i spent my life conforming to whatever everybody else was doing. Never felt like whomever i was, was good enough. It wasn't until I got waaaay older that i finally started figuring out my own personality. i have a sense of humor, a dry one. I do have a love for music, i still like to sing, i wish i hadn't let my classical piano training and flute training go to waste. I think (at the age of 40) I have finally figured out what i want to do in life. I've been in a mediocre fog just doing enough to make it through the day and pay bills and enjoy a few things here and there. At the age of 16, something in me gave up and i'd love to go back to that day and re-tap into me and get my motivation back up where it was. There was a time that i said i can do anything and no one could stop me and that's what i did. i don't like being mediocre...i don't like it at all...when i moved here i was about 200 pounds or more and I had some extra extra motivation to do something differernt, first thing was to lose weight. And i got my big, wide ass up and lost the weight AND toned up. that was 8 years ago. i've gained a little back but lost the tone. i keep saying i'm going to lose it, i start up and i don't finish. i have DVDs, i have exercise equipment, I position myself around motivational people that are consistent to try to jump start myself back into being fit. I maintain..but the true motivation is hidden somewhere in this dark muck. I can't stand it. I look in the mirror and see someone that is trying desperately to get her shit together. I just turned 40 and i'm sitting in a college classroom with babies that get it. I JUST now got it. *sigh*
I'm trying to make myself do the right thing! I don't wanna be 46 and still "trying". I like audio engineering stuff..i work with the media ministry at church (gospel tabernacle), i volunteer and hang around musicians who are actually well-known, i got software on my computer that i use to create background vocals to show my skills. i LOVE background singing, I have an ear for harmony and would love to just sing in that capacity and be on the sound board when I'm not singing. I see myself in a condo somewhere kicking it with a husband..wouldn't even mind a kid and a few doggies. (i'm a dog person) i just don't know when/where/how to get there. As a woman that has been scarred by crazy ass, controlling relationships I see relationships as a trap. that's just another issue i'm working thru. one of my biggest objectives is an apartment complex for those that are trying to get back on their feet to give them 6 mos to a year of a roof over their head and a connection back to the work force and/or school. something in me has forgotten because i've gotten bogged down with some other mental bullshit! I gotta get outta this! If i don't 2013 will not be good! i'm just saying. I will be a freakin' zombie! (i hate those movies) I gotta get back to the real Nissa and it's gotta happen soon.
I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ the only son of our Lord who was conceived by the Holy Spirit born to the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified, dead and buried. the 3rd day he arose from the dead and ascended into Heaven and sitteth on the right head of God the Father Almighty........
my fellow AME brethern/sisters recognize that statement above. I believe that God has my back but I also know that if I get in the way He can't do His part. I need to get out of my own way! I have a task to do and I neeeeeeeeed to do it!
2013 will hold me doing more for me. this trip home was less of of people hurrying to greet me and more of me moving around from place to place to greet them. the closeness and the one family unit feel is gone. No one wants to be a one unit anymore. EVERYbody is in it for themselves and effective immediately that means me too. do i miss the old family feel? yep. do i dislike the new individual feel? yep. can i control others? nope. can i control myself? yep. do i have common sense? yep. and i'm going to use it. next stop getting Nissa truly sane. 2013 will be the time of getting my saneness back and love some folks along the way but they won't be my full focus. I always try to put courage and strength in front of me, hence my Aries sign and acknowledgment. as a matter of fact, before 2012 ends, i'll have a tat of my zodiac...my first and last.
I won't be sharing this entry like I do the others, so if you're reading it you were meant to read it. Anybody that doesn't want to be in my personal space or that doesn't want them in mine..consider yourselves released. i can't do it. I won't do it. I release you with no malice towards you (makes sign of the cross). You'll have to now find someone else to laugh about in your spare time, i am no longer the butt of your cosmic joke. KK, Nissa K, Nissa, Annissa, that girl, whatever you called me is o-u-t .....out!
** I'm Okay**
Thank you Father what has happened and what is about to happen. In Jesus name...Amen!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
I told the storm...
Hello World...
*click here for your theme music*
So just recently I have begun reclaiming my spiritual journey...slowly but truly. Being raised in church and having my own relationship with God, a church home is the norm for me. When I moved here from Houston back in 2004 I joined two spots..one due to popularity of a daily TV ministry I watched in Houston which ended up being something else entirely...the other one I was spiritually drawn to and once there the message ALWAYS matched my prayer need, my spiritual gifts were flowing but there was an off aura in the sanctuary from the congregation. More of "look at me" than "let me help you" and I had to get on outta there before I got bitter. I haven't had a church home in quite some time. I've visited churches but never felt a full connection...so I was still searching.
A few years back a good girlfriend of mine who knows my love for spoken word, music and my birthday sign (Aries stand up! LOL), bought me a ticket to a J Fly/Fly Trap birthday concert a few years ago at the now defunct Sambucas on Piedmont which happened to also be the weekend of my birthday. I found out that our birthdays are 2 days apart (how cool!) so I knew this had to be a good guy. I mean hey he's an Aries and we're good people and plus his life actions showed what he's about. So I became acquainted with this phenomenon called J Fly (whom I nicknamed Aries..hey it's our sign. LOL) and his non-profit organization "How Big Is Your Dream". At this point, I am a fan of the organization of which I've blogged about in a previous post (see Follow the Signs) and in response to the first blog, J and I ended up having a discussion. We discussed my religious background, our church experiences and the similarities and instead of him saying "hey why aren't you in church?" (something i've grown used to hearing from people at this point) he said "hey come visit my church". And from this discussion we have become cool friends. He's a tad younger, so he's like the younger, wise brother I've never had. (I have a younger brother but that's a whole 'nother ball game... O_o) ANYway....when you meet people that just have good spirits, especially a man, please know that a great woman of that same spirit "ain't" far away. After becoming a fan of the organization, me and my friends would make sure to get to an event if the Fly Trap was playing so I normally only saw Mrs Flynn in her volunteer mode during all of J's events, passing out flyers and whatever else needed to be done but I've gotten a chance to actually meet her and what a beautiful spirit and their daughter is a mini-me of both of these spirits! As you can tell by this last comment, eventually I visited the church and needless to say, I'm hooked! It's a little scary but I'm going to roll with it.
Ok that's the preface...let's get to the meat....so I am now piecing everything back together and this past Sunday I not only went to 11am service but attended the first night of the Action Living Conference and just attended tonight. I almost didn't go. Coming out of a holiday weekend, I was feeling real peaceful today (Tuesday) in a weird kind of way and during a morning convo, I was asked "how i was feeling" and my answer was "peaceful in a weird kind of way". So my friend asked me "how is peace weird?" and I had to laugh and said "because i rarely have it". So i'm wondering if I spoke the craziness into existence. (hmmm) I make that statement because by the end of the day, i was stressing. Missed class due to having to wait around at work until some stuff got finished [ok cool i would've been just a few minutes late] and THEN got to my car and [what do we have] oh yeah, a flat tire! So I traipse on across the street to GoodYear because I'd had a tire fixed and my tires were rotated so I was thinking it was the same one..oh no..this was a different tire...another nail in a different tire. [who woulda thunk it???] not I! So then the mechanic says oh yeah it was a different tire so that'll be $32.95. [WHAT??] Can I just tell you that at this point, I wasn't at the point of crying, I was just irritated and numb. How could a basically good spirited day end up like this? I immediately told him right then and there I don't have any money to pay for this because I thought it was the same tire which would've been no charge. So the guy kinda looked at me and then gave me my keys and said "you're good to go". I hope I didn't yell at him, I don't even really remember being there like I know it happened but I was so numb by this time. So I eventually drive away but I'm stressing and by this time it's about 5pm, I needed to be in class for 5:30p but now I'm in major traffic. Ok with all of this happening, I still needed to go to campus to get a new parking permit for Fall 2012 and the office that I need to go to closes at 7pm...i get there at 7:01p and baaaaybay they are CLOSED!!! [GREAT!] I've missed class and wasn't able to get a new parking permit. So i'ma have to hit it tomorrow(today) but by now I'm pretty much over being stressed and I'm just kinda like numb + thinking "ok Lord..what in the heck is happening right now?". By the time I got back to my car...i wanted a drink..well a part of me did and another part of me said "uuuuh excuse me ma'am go to church!" and at this point, I'd actually vented to a couple of people including my Aries brother and he made the response that needed to be said "come to church". So as I went through my stages of emotional madness, I pointed my car towards church and went!
Praise and Worship was effective but I was still numb and still stressing...I was singing but felt a disconnect somewhere, somehow hollowed out...and so I asked God to show me if I didn't need to be at this church to show me if he was leading me elsewhere. Once Pastor Riva Tims got up, she got right into the Word and her title was "Don't Let the Storm Stop You" [REALLY?] Immediately I had a flashback of my experiences when I went to church in Houston at my home church Abundant Life Cathedral. Everytime I stepped in that sanctuary, Pastor Ed's sermon would knock me upside my head with an answer to my current dilemma. Well She hit the nail on the head, including the flat tire. Too funny!!!!! It was like God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying "I'm happening right now, pay attention." So God showed me right quick that I do need to be at Gospel Tabernacle Church and next Sunday will be my time to step up. Anyway, she told us about 3 types of storms we encounter:
So that sermon is what I needed to reactivate/engage my memory and act right! LOL! I have to laugh at myself because I'm sitting around worried about what people think of me instead of what God thinks of me. Not in the manner of bad reputation, I mean I almost reverted back to an old mindset where I was worried of people were making fun of me or talking about me (1st storm type) and that's bananas! So thank you Father for re-directing me to a place that I can regroup and react accordingly. I had to remind myself of the Nissa that was strong and stubborn and got stuff done versus the one that decided to give up! So thank you Lord, for real!
So my bottomline message to anyone reading this is when you know that you have a spiritual assignment, when you see that each time you take a step forward, miraculously the next door opens and you're able to keep going. When you see that you are in that type of situation but your current surroundings don't seem to line up with what needs to be done. When your resources don't seem to be there for what you know needs to be done, keep going forward.
The song that the Minister of Worship ( Elder Darwin Hobbs) ministered after Pastor Tims's sermon was Israel Houghton's "I will follow you Forward". The chorus exclaims:
*click here for your theme music*
So just recently I have begun reclaiming my spiritual journey...slowly but truly. Being raised in church and having my own relationship with God, a church home is the norm for me. When I moved here from Houston back in 2004 I joined two spots..one due to popularity of a daily TV ministry I watched in Houston which ended up being something else entirely...the other one I was spiritually drawn to and once there the message ALWAYS matched my prayer need, my spiritual gifts were flowing but there was an off aura in the sanctuary from the congregation. More of "look at me" than "let me help you" and I had to get on outta there before I got bitter. I haven't had a church home in quite some time. I've visited churches but never felt a full connection...so I was still searching.
A few years back a good girlfriend of mine who knows my love for spoken word, music and my birthday sign (Aries stand up! LOL), bought me a ticket to a J Fly/Fly Trap birthday concert a few years ago at the now defunct Sambucas on Piedmont which happened to also be the weekend of my birthday. I found out that our birthdays are 2 days apart (how cool!) so I knew this had to be a good guy. I mean hey he's an Aries and we're good people and plus his life actions showed what he's about. So I became acquainted with this phenomenon called J Fly (whom I nicknamed Aries..hey it's our sign. LOL) and his non-profit organization "How Big Is Your Dream". At this point, I am a fan of the organization of which I've blogged about in a previous post (see Follow the Signs) and in response to the first blog, J and I ended up having a discussion. We discussed my religious background, our church experiences and the similarities and instead of him saying "hey why aren't you in church?" (something i've grown used to hearing from people at this point) he said "hey come visit my church". And from this discussion we have become cool friends. He's a tad younger, so he's like the younger, wise brother I've never had. (I have a younger brother but that's a whole 'nother ball game... O_o) ANYway....when you meet people that just have good spirits, especially a man, please know that a great woman of that same spirit "ain't" far away. After becoming a fan of the organization, me and my friends would make sure to get to an event if the Fly Trap was playing so I normally only saw Mrs Flynn in her volunteer mode during all of J's events, passing out flyers and whatever else needed to be done but I've gotten a chance to actually meet her and what a beautiful spirit and their daughter is a mini-me of both of these spirits! As you can tell by this last comment, eventually I visited the church and needless to say, I'm hooked! It's a little scary but I'm going to roll with it.
Ok that's the preface...let's get to the meat....so I am now piecing everything back together and this past Sunday I not only went to 11am service but attended the first night of the Action Living Conference and just attended tonight. I almost didn't go. Coming out of a holiday weekend, I was feeling real peaceful today (Tuesday) in a weird kind of way and during a morning convo, I was asked "how i was feeling" and my answer was "peaceful in a weird kind of way". So my friend asked me "how is peace weird?" and I had to laugh and said "because i rarely have it". So i'm wondering if I spoke the craziness into existence. (hmmm) I make that statement because by the end of the day, i was stressing. Missed class due to having to wait around at work until some stuff got finished [ok cool i would've been just a few minutes late] and THEN got to my car and [what do we have] oh yeah, a flat tire! So I traipse on across the street to GoodYear because I'd had a tire fixed and my tires were rotated so I was thinking it was the same one..oh no..this was a different tire...another nail in a different tire. [who woulda thunk it???] not I! So then the mechanic says oh yeah it was a different tire so that'll be $32.95. [WHAT??] Can I just tell you that at this point, I wasn't at the point of crying, I was just irritated and numb. How could a basically good spirited day end up like this? I immediately told him right then and there I don't have any money to pay for this because I thought it was the same tire which would've been no charge. So the guy kinda looked at me and then gave me my keys and said "you're good to go". I hope I didn't yell at him, I don't even really remember being there like I know it happened but I was so numb by this time. So I eventually drive away but I'm stressing and by this time it's about 5pm, I needed to be in class for 5:30p but now I'm in major traffic. Ok with all of this happening, I still needed to go to campus to get a new parking permit for Fall 2012 and the office that I need to go to closes at 7pm...i get there at 7:01p and baaaaybay they are CLOSED!!! [GREAT!] I've missed class and wasn't able to get a new parking permit. So i'ma have to hit it tomorrow(today) but by now I'm pretty much over being stressed and I'm just kinda like numb + thinking "ok Lord..what in the heck is happening right now?". By the time I got back to my car...i wanted a drink..well a part of me did and another part of me said "uuuuh excuse me ma'am go to church!" and at this point, I'd actually vented to a couple of people including my Aries brother and he made the response that needed to be said "come to church". So as I went through my stages of emotional madness, I pointed my car towards church and went!
Praise and Worship was effective but I was still numb and still stressing...I was singing but felt a disconnect somewhere, somehow hollowed out...and so I asked God to show me if I didn't need to be at this church to show me if he was leading me elsewhere. Once Pastor Riva Tims got up, she got right into the Word and her title was "Don't Let the Storm Stop You" [REALLY?] Immediately I had a flashback of my experiences when I went to church in Houston at my home church Abundant Life Cathedral. Everytime I stepped in that sanctuary, Pastor Ed's sermon would knock me upside my head with an answer to my current dilemma. Well She hit the nail on the head, including the flat tire. Too funny!!!!! It was like God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying "I'm happening right now, pay attention." So God showed me right quick that I do need to be at Gospel Tabernacle Church and next Sunday will be my time to step up. Anyway, she told us about 3 types of storms we encounter:
- the minor storm that just tests your faith that irritates you (i.e. people talking about you)
- the YOU storm where there is no one or nothing else stopping you but you (i.e. self-sabotage)
- the spiritual storm that you go through to relocate you to where you need to be for your next level
So that sermon is what I needed to reactivate/engage my memory and act right! LOL! I have to laugh at myself because I'm sitting around worried about what people think of me instead of what God thinks of me. Not in the manner of bad reputation, I mean I almost reverted back to an old mindset where I was worried of people were making fun of me or talking about me (1st storm type) and that's bananas! So thank you Father for re-directing me to a place that I can regroup and react accordingly. I had to remind myself of the Nissa that was strong and stubborn and got stuff done versus the one that decided to give up! So thank you Lord, for real!
So my bottomline message to anyone reading this is when you know that you have a spiritual assignment, when you see that each time you take a step forward, miraculously the next door opens and you're able to keep going. When you see that you are in that type of situation but your current surroundings don't seem to line up with what needs to be done. When your resources don't seem to be there for what you know needs to be done, keep going forward.
The song that the Minister of Worship ( Elder Darwin Hobbs) ministered after Pastor Tims's sermon was Israel Houghton's "I will follow you Forward". The chorus exclaims:
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Nothing to fear but your own self-doubt...
Hello World!!!!
Wow! I just had one of the most awesome opportunities in my lifetime. Through another friend, I connected with this lady that makes her money "sanging". One thing I want to do before i leave this earth because i love music, i've been singing and playing since I was 3 years old, I want to sing background vocals. I'm not and have never been the lead singing type of person, somebody has to be the backup. I love harmony, i can hear the harmony immediately, that's my talent. But somewhere in my life i gave up on myself. I let self-doubt run me. Now on the outside, I encourage all of those around me to do "it", whatever their "it" is but when it comes to me, I try to hide. So back to my recent debacle. I had a chance to audition at Club Ellery's this past Wednesday for Tabitha King and as far as the vocal part, i think i did a pretty darn good job. BUT my weakness is to stop being scared of people. OMG! I haven't been that scared since I was about 6 years old and I was at summer rec camp and I walked about 20 miles home because i felt there were too many kids standing in front of the arts and crafts building. And the end result was the same. LOL! I remember parts but not all of the actual event. Normally if i drink some liquid courage, i'm good but this time around even that didn't work.
Now here's the thing, I started out right..i talked to the band I talked to the crowd I started out good. Somewhere in the song, I froze. If i could've crawled up into myself I would have. WHY? I have NO idea. I didn't hit no bad notes, I don't know. I had a friend..heck a family member that was visiting, make that family members and one of them happen to be a music major and he helped me by having me do vocal exercises and I performed and he was able to give me tips on performing. And i mean just that, helped because I used it a little at least before I froze..LOL plus I will keep that with me ALWAYS. AND it pushes me to get off my butt and get the vocal lessons i need and get some performing experience and STOP being scared. i'm tired of being scared, i really am.
Now 1. i'm proud of me for performing. i've never performed at a nightclub out front and center. So i'm done dogging myself out. And 2. it's time to make a battle plan.
So I end this by saying There is nothing to fear but your own self-doubt..because that is YOUR fuel for fear! I encourage each of you reading this to face your battles, your obstacles and get it done. ANd know that as you move forward, the Universe, God, the Father, Allah, Jehovah is there to guide you AND whatever you need to move forward is supplied. The other night i needed encouragement and even though I chose to still be scared, that encouragement that my girlfriend gave me was needed and it was used. The Lord had my back even in the nightclub. LOL! So folks. Please believe in yourself and like the Donald Lawrence songs says sometimes you have to encourage yourself and guess what. It works.
Hugs and be well!
*Peace and Blessings*
Wow! I just had one of the most awesome opportunities in my lifetime. Through another friend, I connected with this lady that makes her money "sanging". One thing I want to do before i leave this earth because i love music, i've been singing and playing since I was 3 years old, I want to sing background vocals. I'm not and have never been the lead singing type of person, somebody has to be the backup. I love harmony, i can hear the harmony immediately, that's my talent. But somewhere in my life i gave up on myself. I let self-doubt run me. Now on the outside, I encourage all of those around me to do "it", whatever their "it" is but when it comes to me, I try to hide. So back to my recent debacle. I had a chance to audition at Club Ellery's this past Wednesday for Tabitha King and as far as the vocal part, i think i did a pretty darn good job. BUT my weakness is to stop being scared of people. OMG! I haven't been that scared since I was about 6 years old and I was at summer rec camp and I walked about 20 miles home because i felt there were too many kids standing in front of the arts and crafts building. And the end result was the same. LOL! I remember parts but not all of the actual event. Normally if i drink some liquid courage, i'm good but this time around even that didn't work.
Now here's the thing, I started out right..i talked to the band I talked to the crowd I started out good. Somewhere in the song, I froze. If i could've crawled up into myself I would have. WHY? I have NO idea. I didn't hit no bad notes, I don't know. I had a friend..heck a family member that was visiting, make that family members and one of them happen to be a music major and he helped me by having me do vocal exercises and I performed and he was able to give me tips on performing. And i mean just that, helped because I used it a little at least before I froze..LOL plus I will keep that with me ALWAYS. AND it pushes me to get off my butt and get the vocal lessons i need and get some performing experience and STOP being scared. i'm tired of being scared, i really am.
Now 1. i'm proud of me for performing. i've never performed at a nightclub out front and center. So i'm done dogging myself out. And 2. it's time to make a battle plan.
So I end this by saying There is nothing to fear but your own self-doubt..because that is YOUR fuel for fear! I encourage each of you reading this to face your battles, your obstacles and get it done. ANd know that as you move forward, the Universe, God, the Father, Allah, Jehovah is there to guide you AND whatever you need to move forward is supplied. The other night i needed encouragement and even though I chose to still be scared, that encouragement that my girlfriend gave me was needed and it was used. The Lord had my back even in the nightclub. LOL! So folks. Please believe in yourself and like the Donald Lawrence songs says sometimes you have to encourage yourself and guess what. It works.
Hugs and be well!
*Peace and Blessings*
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Lordy Lordy I am now 40!!
Hello World!!!
Oh my, my, my! I am having the time of my life! Of course, I start celebrating my birthday March 1st with my Pisces/March folks but didn't start moving around until the weekend before my actual date (3/21). So March 17-18 in Miami, Florida the annual Jazz In The Gardens festivities took place and I was there! I was looking forward to it being a type of girls getaway trip but that didn't happen. I was a little bummed but hey, it was celebration time for ya girl! I started out with a salute to the Captain (Morgan) at the airport, had a great flight and then I got to the airport in Florida and the rental car place gave me a free upgrade! *woo hoo!* One awesome thing that happened is I was able to meet some of my Turknett cousins I'd never met before. My cousin Erica and her mom and one of her girlfriends flew up from Dallas Texas and met me in Florida! Awesome, awesome, awesome!! The only flub that happened is that due to the flight schedules, I didn't get in until Saturday around 4:30p and by the time I did the hotel check-in I got to the event about 7p(ish) ad they got there right when it started about 4pm. The entire event is held outside and in Miami the weather was very warm, so I think her mom (my cousin) got hot and/or tired and unfortunately they walked out of the turnstills waiting on me to walk up not knowing about the policy of "no re-entry". :-( Therefore, I was in there on my own...I talked to the Captain again twice and walked around peeping out the people and bobbing my head to Dougie Fresh! Yes Dougie was on stage and he did the damn thang!!! So I found a chair to sit down with some cool people and enjoyed the show! The show was MC'd partially by MC Lyte and can I just say that homegirl was reppin' very well for the 70s babies! Looked good Lyte!! So then, next act on stage was my girl Ledisi!! She ROCKED it!!!!! Oh man she rocked it! Her fans loved her and the folks that didn't know her now loved her too!!! And one thing that was on it...were the background singers..i mean sangers...WHAT? Ledisi's background singers were so on point...they were both sopranos and did the damn thang!!!! One thing I kept seeing that was horrible to my eyes were the diapers aka booty shorts aka daisy dukes that were being worn....I know it was warm but these were just totally unacceptable! I don't wanna see cottage cheese with lumps and bumps!! Honestly as a woman, I was uncomfortable..that's just nasty!! On any size and crazily enough, it was the ladies of 16 and up that felt that the rest of us needed to see their lumps and bumps up close and personal. Just sooooooo not cool!! The biggest highlight in the audience was the two grandmas that did the dance competition to Beyonce's "Crazy In Love". Oh man....real real funny!!!!
So then Kem got on stage...with his musicians and his songstresses and well...I have to admit I like Kem but i've never been a HUGE HUGE fan and I had to say that after witnessing his performances and hearing his Word, I like a little big more! :-) The main thing I loved about Ledisi and Kem is that they both poured positive energy into the audience with words of adoration and inspiration and of God! As a woman, you left there feeling good as a man you left there feeling good and as a couple you left there feeling in love! So then it started raining, drizzling actually, light at first and then a little harder. I got up and started walking around and found vendors booths which were unfortunately closing down so I didn't get to purchase anything. Since I was there by myself, I didn't get a chance to take a bunch of pics so I had one taken at the photo booth for $10. I noticed that Taliah Waajid also had a booth there which I missed! :-( I love her hair products and would've probably purchased a few things including hair stuff for my oldest niece. Oh well.
So while I'm walking around, the diva Jill Scott walks on the stage and does her thang! At that point, I was in the mindset of walking to my car and getting out of there before the rest of the festival did the same thing so I set out to walk the parking lot, straight to my car....yep well....uuh...that's not what happened. See what had happen was I forgot where I parked....walking back from the event looked a lot different than walking to the event and uuuh I actually did walk very close to my car the first time but the parking area looked different so I turned around. (oi vey) The good thing is that I had Jill Scott in the background during my search. (LOL) So i'm pushing the panic button on the remote listening for a horn the whole time and then when I find the car, I realize that that button wasn't working. O_o So there was no horn for me...crazy azz....but i'm sure the folks standing next to my rental car was wondering why the doors kept locking and unlocking and lights flashing but no one was around the car getting in. LOL! (wow)
So I'm in the car and back at my hotel and Sunday I get with my cousins and we hit South Beach and eat and enjoy weather and the water. Beautiful!! As we were heading there, we passed by the port and now I have a cruise itch that needs to be scratched. The first time I went with my homegirl Nicole to the Bahamas on Carnival, this next time I'd love to go with a "homeboy" (tee hee) to somewhere, i don't know...but my passport is active and I'm ready. So anyway, I get back home and the birthday week begins! :-))
Monday, Tuesday were giddy times, Wednesday (3/21) I got my hair coiled at TruSan's Styling Room and then went got my make-up professionally done by KriShanna I had my party at Cloud IX with the Reset Crew (DJ Fudge, DJ Deliver, DJ Dug Boogie) and my cupcakes were done by Sassygirl cupcakes; I had some special spirited cupcakes done and boi oh boi oh boi! I had some friends that came out and we had a blast! (still smiling), Thursday party at Cloud IX with DJ Majestik, Kimberly Seabrook, the Skenny Kravitz Show with hookah and friends (still smiling), Friday I had a dental appointment :-|, I got the news that I need another $3k of dental work. Not too surprised since I know my DNA gives me what is called "soft teeth" very very very susceptible to gum disease. *ugh* So then I hit my party at Barley's with my boi AJ's Exhale Fridays Happy Hour...Red was there and my fellow Aries sister Dani and an Aries girlfriend of hers and lawdamercy the bartender hooked me up on drinks....lawdamercy...me and the Captain..all night...I had an 8am class...a presentation in said 8am class. I did very very well with my presentation (ahem) but the rest of the class was a struggle. (oi vey) All of a sudden, my vision was effected, was feeling a bit faint..we had a presenter discussing legal writing and it was a very intriguing presentation which i did stay up for but boiiiiii boy boy boy did i wanna just go to sleep. Ok so fast forward, i went home and took a nap..because 3/24 was the date for a wonderful celebration, my friend/walking buddy Christy Nixon was saying "i do" to a wonderful God-fearing, Word abiding gentleman named Murry Ford who I dubbed as "Bishop". The name just came to me out of nowhere, well it was actually a connection to Christy and I couldn't put it into words as to why when she asked me. But the one thing I have is a type of second sight and from time to time I just know things and from what i've learned is when I "know" 'em, I'm supposed to say it right then. So, I've finally figured out what it was and here is the explanation. Christy has a loving, genuine spirit, I mean really, really genuinue. She abides by the Word of God, she actually let me know that Christians do know how to have fun and not be totally in the world while doing it. That was something I struggled with because growing up in the church, I was around some characters and either the people didn't do anything at all...i mean no tv, no music, nothing but scripture scripture scripture, dull, no personality and woe to all that didn't do the same thing. *ugh* But this chica is a world traveler, loves jazz, loves knowing stuff, is in shape and doesn't bash anyone for not being a christian if they aren't. As a matter of fact, she'll make a non-believer curious about believing based on her style of living. And for people like that, I am grateful. I heard a lady last night say she's grounded and I'd have to agree, that's the perfect term. She is grounded and for a man to capture her attention, he'd have to be on "Bishop" level. The term/title bishop in the denomination i grew up in is the highest office to be held. And with the man being the head of the household once the marriage takes place he kinda holds that office and so knowing my friend and her beliefs he'd have to be a Bishop in his love for God to attract and hold her attention. Well she is now Christy Ford (from one president to another) and I couldn't be happier! I love the fact that God allows me to see the good in the world because he knows how my mind works and when my thoughts get to be too close to negative He shows me the other side. He's still working on me. He keeps right on working on me. *thank you Father*
So now I'm heading back to the ATL and finish up my celebration!! Atlanta promoters do day parties...they start around 2 or 3p during the day but the night time type of festivities. So if you're in the ATL today come thru to Shout and hang with me. You HAVE to RSVP for free admission, doors open at 2pm www.SSLATL.com
So this blog will be continued later on. Until then. *peace and blessings* ((hugs))
p.s. all in all I have to say that this year, I have learned to not concentrate so much on me, me, me...when you do stuff for others out of kindness, the kindness comes back to you. that's something i already knew but never 100% lived by. This year I've learned to live by it and I'm having the time of my life. See you at Shout!
Oh my, my, my! I am having the time of my life! Of course, I start celebrating my birthday March 1st with my Pisces/March folks but didn't start moving around until the weekend before my actual date (3/21). So March 17-18 in Miami, Florida the annual Jazz In The Gardens festivities took place and I was there! I was looking forward to it being a type of girls getaway trip but that didn't happen. I was a little bummed but hey, it was celebration time for ya girl! I started out with a salute to the Captain (Morgan) at the airport, had a great flight and then I got to the airport in Florida and the rental car place gave me a free upgrade! *woo hoo!* One awesome thing that happened is I was able to meet some of my Turknett cousins I'd never met before. My cousin Erica and her mom and one of her girlfriends flew up from Dallas Texas and met me in Florida! Awesome, awesome, awesome!! The only flub that happened is that due to the flight schedules, I didn't get in until Saturday around 4:30p and by the time I did the hotel check-in I got to the event about 7p(ish) ad they got there right when it started about 4pm. The entire event is held outside and in Miami the weather was very warm, so I think her mom (my cousin) got hot and/or tired and unfortunately they walked out of the turnstills waiting on me to walk up not knowing about the policy of "no re-entry". :-( Therefore, I was in there on my own...I talked to the Captain again twice and walked around peeping out the people and bobbing my head to Dougie Fresh! Yes Dougie was on stage and he did the damn thang!!! So I found a chair to sit down with some cool people and enjoyed the show! The show was MC'd partially by MC Lyte and can I just say that homegirl was reppin' very well for the 70s babies! Looked good Lyte!! So then, next act on stage was my girl Ledisi!! She ROCKED it!!!!! Oh man she rocked it! Her fans loved her and the folks that didn't know her now loved her too!!! And one thing that was on it...were the background singers..i mean sangers...WHAT? Ledisi's background singers were so on point...they were both sopranos and did the damn thang!!!! One thing I kept seeing that was horrible to my eyes were the diapers aka booty shorts aka daisy dukes that were being worn....I know it was warm but these were just totally unacceptable! I don't wanna see cottage cheese with lumps and bumps!! Honestly as a woman, I was uncomfortable..that's just nasty!! On any size and crazily enough, it was the ladies of 16 and up that felt that the rest of us needed to see their lumps and bumps up close and personal. Just sooooooo not cool!! The biggest highlight in the audience was the two grandmas that did the dance competition to Beyonce's "Crazy In Love". Oh man....real real funny!!!!
So then Kem got on stage...with his musicians and his songstresses and well...I have to admit I like Kem but i've never been a HUGE HUGE fan and I had to say that after witnessing his performances and hearing his Word, I like a little big more! :-) The main thing I loved about Ledisi and Kem is that they both poured positive energy into the audience with words of adoration and inspiration and of God! As a woman, you left there feeling good as a man you left there feeling good and as a couple you left there feeling in love! So then it started raining, drizzling actually, light at first and then a little harder. I got up and started walking around and found vendors booths which were unfortunately closing down so I didn't get to purchase anything. Since I was there by myself, I didn't get a chance to take a bunch of pics so I had one taken at the photo booth for $10. I noticed that Taliah Waajid also had a booth there which I missed! :-( I love her hair products and would've probably purchased a few things including hair stuff for my oldest niece. Oh well.
So while I'm walking around, the diva Jill Scott walks on the stage and does her thang! At that point, I was in the mindset of walking to my car and getting out of there before the rest of the festival did the same thing so I set out to walk the parking lot, straight to my car....yep well....uuh...that's not what happened. See what had happen was I forgot where I parked....walking back from the event looked a lot different than walking to the event and uuuh I actually did walk very close to my car the first time but the parking area looked different so I turned around. (oi vey) The good thing is that I had Jill Scott in the background during my search. (LOL) So i'm pushing the panic button on the remote listening for a horn the whole time and then when I find the car, I realize that that button wasn't working. O_o So there was no horn for me...crazy azz....but i'm sure the folks standing next to my rental car was wondering why the doors kept locking and unlocking and lights flashing but no one was around the car getting in. LOL! (wow)
So I'm in the car and back at my hotel and Sunday I get with my cousins and we hit South Beach and eat and enjoy weather and the water. Beautiful!! As we were heading there, we passed by the port and now I have a cruise itch that needs to be scratched. The first time I went with my homegirl Nicole to the Bahamas on Carnival, this next time I'd love to go with a "homeboy" (tee hee) to somewhere, i don't know...but my passport is active and I'm ready. So anyway, I get back home and the birthday week begins! :-))
Monday, Tuesday were giddy times, Wednesday (3/21) I got my hair coiled at TruSan's Styling Room and then went got my make-up professionally done by KriShanna I had my party at Cloud IX with the Reset Crew (DJ Fudge, DJ Deliver, DJ Dug Boogie) and my cupcakes were done by Sassygirl cupcakes; I had some special spirited cupcakes done and boi oh boi oh boi! I had some friends that came out and we had a blast! (still smiling), Thursday party at Cloud IX with DJ Majestik, Kimberly Seabrook, the Skenny Kravitz Show with hookah and friends (still smiling), Friday I had a dental appointment :-|, I got the news that I need another $3k of dental work. Not too surprised since I know my DNA gives me what is called "soft teeth" very very very susceptible to gum disease. *ugh* So then I hit my party at Barley's with my boi AJ's Exhale Fridays Happy Hour...Red was there and my fellow Aries sister Dani and an Aries girlfriend of hers and lawdamercy the bartender hooked me up on drinks....lawdamercy...me and the Captain..all night...I had an 8am class...a presentation in said 8am class. I did very very well with my presentation (ahem) but the rest of the class was a struggle. (oi vey) All of a sudden, my vision was effected, was feeling a bit faint..we had a presenter discussing legal writing and it was a very intriguing presentation which i did stay up for but boiiiiii boy boy boy did i wanna just go to sleep. Ok so fast forward, i went home and took a nap..because 3/24 was the date for a wonderful celebration, my friend/walking buddy Christy Nixon was saying "i do" to a wonderful God-fearing, Word abiding gentleman named Murry Ford who I dubbed as "Bishop". The name just came to me out of nowhere, well it was actually a connection to Christy and I couldn't put it into words as to why when she asked me. But the one thing I have is a type of second sight and from time to time I just know things and from what i've learned is when I "know" 'em, I'm supposed to say it right then. So, I've finally figured out what it was and here is the explanation. Christy has a loving, genuine spirit, I mean really, really genuinue. She abides by the Word of God, she actually let me know that Christians do know how to have fun and not be totally in the world while doing it. That was something I struggled with because growing up in the church, I was around some characters and either the people didn't do anything at all...i mean no tv, no music, nothing but scripture scripture scripture, dull, no personality and woe to all that didn't do the same thing. *ugh* But this chica is a world traveler, loves jazz, loves knowing stuff, is in shape and doesn't bash anyone for not being a christian if they aren't. As a matter of fact, she'll make a non-believer curious about believing based on her style of living. And for people like that, I am grateful. I heard a lady last night say she's grounded and I'd have to agree, that's the perfect term. She is grounded and for a man to capture her attention, he'd have to be on "Bishop" level. The term/title bishop in the denomination i grew up in is the highest office to be held. And with the man being the head of the household once the marriage takes place he kinda holds that office and so knowing my friend and her beliefs he'd have to be a Bishop in his love for God to attract and hold her attention. Well she is now Christy Ford (from one president to another) and I couldn't be happier! I love the fact that God allows me to see the good in the world because he knows how my mind works and when my thoughts get to be too close to negative He shows me the other side. He's still working on me. He keeps right on working on me. *thank you Father*
So now I'm heading back to the ATL and finish up my celebration!! Atlanta promoters do day parties...they start around 2 or 3p during the day but the night time type of festivities. So if you're in the ATL today come thru to Shout and hang with me. You HAVE to RSVP for free admission, doors open at 2pm www.SSLATL.com
So this blog will be continued later on. Until then. *peace and blessings* ((hugs))
p.s. all in all I have to say that this year, I have learned to not concentrate so much on me, me, me...when you do stuff for others out of kindness, the kindness comes back to you. that's something i already knew but never 100% lived by. This year I've learned to live by it and I'm having the time of my life. See you at Shout!
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