I wish.....

Hello World:

Craziness:
I wish I was that girl that used my common sense back in the day to make better choices...I wish I was that girl that didn't get stuck in crazy ruts and feeling like I was in the movie "Groundhog Day"...I wish I was that girl that took advantage of the great and exciting opportunities that have been presented to me....I wish I wasn't going to be that woman that spoke about "could-a", "should-a", would-a"...but alas as I look at my upcoming 42nd birthday in a few months, it looks like I am.  I did not take advantage of the time given me to do the very best I could.  My life has been mediocre at best. Yes. I have been blessed to be around people who are actively "doing it" that keep me encouraged but I haven't truly stepped out on faith and used my talents.  My singing voice has dwindled and my spirit is fading....ever so slowly.  I continuously put myself into crazy financial situations...almost like a constant self-sabotage.  I continuously fight against this demon by speaking prosperity and faith and happiness in the universe and I don't let myself wallow in any type of pity BUT the truth is the truth...I have NOT done well with the gift of life that the Lord has given me.  I think I even allow myself to be taken advantage of by people even though I know from the beginning that they don't mean well simply out of punishment.  Some part of me feels like I don't deserve a full blown happiness.  How crazy is that?  I'm not sure why that is or where it came from...but it's there. *shrug*

Happiness:
I'm loving hanging out with "Mr. Man"...I'm currently working on a food blog - eatandrinkwithme.blogspot.com ....it's starting off great! I'm excited about it. I'm working on the official website, I have my logo.  I'm doing three things I like...be around people, eat and tell people about it. LOL!  I grew up painfully shy but I love to be around people and events.  How oxymoronish is that?? (yup new word)   I feel like two different people..one that wants to be happy and stable and one that is on a mission of self-rampage. (hashtag) crazy.

Moral of this story:
Continue to work on doing the right thing....pay your bills on time...pay your tithes...be nice to people...smile and the world will smile with you..tell yourself how great you are versus how less than...and don't trust anyone that your spirit tells you not to trust aka don't be naive...never trust people that over-encourage; why? they are up to something.  Yup.  There are folks out there that will take you for EVERYthing you have, even if it's not that much.  sad but true.  Encourage yourself.  As you end this read, click here to be further blessed on this day!

Peace be with you....peace be multiplied...

Nissa Kaye...