The self-sabotage is back...I don't wanna be here...

 Hello World.....

It's been a long time since I have updated. It's September 2026 and I'm in GA. Keke has moved to Colorado with her Boo but left aLOT of stuff that I had to put in my storage meaning I had to get a bigger one for what she left plus mine. So another bill....I meant to get a storage shed built but ended up not going that route. It seemed like the best option but now....I realize it's not!! 

Anyway....I was doing SOOOOOO well after coming back from the West Coast. And theeeeen.....I made some dumb azz decisions and I have fukkd it up. 

I don't feel good about anything. I'm struggling daily....the part of me that has always felt like I wasn't good enough is very loud....I'm not doing good...but I smile it away and encourage others because my current situation is ALL my fault!

I don't wanna be here....

The world is going to shyte....the discrimination is sky high, the racists are killing our kids via lynching!! I don't wanna be here!

I don't see anything to live for... there's no one out here that really needs me. I'm the single lady (by choice) with health issues, no kids. No huge career options. I'm fat & ugly....Like whaaaaat?!? Sure I have friends that will be sad for a moment but then they'll forget and go back to their lives ..they actually have lives... kids... careers.  There would be nobody to have to uplift once I'm gone.  Throw my ashes somewhere out there and move on.

I hate to disappoint whomever is in charge of this matrix but I want out. Now.

I have no uplifting messages....✌🏾🖖🏾

Push forward it is....

 Hello World...

In The Ladies Den last night - 5/29/25 - it was our last week of discussing "Mental Health Awareness".  We talked about how we are affected mentally by our upbringing.  How it shows up in our adulthood...it opened up alot for me.  Last night's show was almost a personal therapy session.  I still feel like folks don't always want to hear what you have to say BUT i'll keep on pushing.

I hope your 2025 is looking up, we are almost in June which means half of the year is already gone.  Our political environment is shyttey, the people are wondering why our community isn't in an uproar.  Personally, I can say that I am just numb to everything.  I'm sitting back watching.  It's crazy right now.

Anyway, I'm back on the east coast for now (GA) and just doing what I do.  Paying my mortgage and hopefully getting my storage shed to be able to move some stuff out of the hallway. Ugh!

Alright - in conclusion....

In the words of the late Curtis Mayfield - Keep On Pushing!

Peace and Blessing....

Hope it is.....

 Hello World.....

My time is almost up on the west coast and I have to tell you, I am going to miss the west coast.  Back in September, I was led to find a church home, something I did not EVER would do.  I was obedient and found Saint Paul Church of Sacramento.  I've told this story before I literally started googling "churches in sacramento".  I found this church's FB page and watched them online and then went to service in-person.  I thought they were non-denominational, it didn't matter to me really.  I was raised in the AME church but I have been a member at baptist churches.  I was just looking for a good vibe, the right spirit and I found it.  I completed my "new member" classes December 2024 and had to go home for the holidays (yep had to it was a mandatory rotation) and got back January 2025 to find out we were having an MLK program where the community choir would be ministering.  Guess what!  Community Choir is open to everyone! :-)  Yours truly got a chance to sing in the choir.  I had a time last night!  Yes 1/20/25 will always be an awesome memory for me.

I'm looking forward to what the future looks like.  As of 1/20/25 - our government makeup is cray, delusional and any other.  This next 4 years are about to be VERY interesting.  As for our community, it's best that we support each other and mind the business that pays us and us only.  I'm working really hard to shut down my petty and be quiet and not respond to ignorant stuff but it's HARD...but i'm definitely working on it.

Anyway...happy new year...if you're looking for a church to visit or need a church home, I definitely recomment Saint Paul! 

Going forward, I plan to stay focused and mind my muhfuggn business!

Hello World.....Happy New Year 2025

 Hello world!

Well our project sent us on a mandatory rotation I'll be heading back tomorrow to the west coast.  I got a chance to see my family and some of my friends, however at home in GA, my car isn't working and rideshare adds up. (oh boy)

I did get a chance to team up with some nightlife homies, a time was had!

2024 was the year of the Universe pushing me onto my new path.  From struggling to pay rent to a homeowner to seeing the world a little bit via corporate.  Guess who is not complaining...me??

I thank the Lord and my ancestors for my new path and I promise not to waste ANY time or talent.

Shouts out to The Ladies Den - we were nominated for an ATL's Hottest Award and we'll be celebrating our 2nd year this year.  Be on the lookout for more from the den!

OK world, the runway calls....LOL...it's the first #TLA runway class of 2025 and ya girl hasn't been on a runway in a good long time.  Let's get it!!

Keep your head up and keep it pushing!

Happy New YEAR!

p.s. be on the lookout for "53 and I'm outside" celebration! Aries in the building!

West Coast - they not like us - turn up it is....

 so listen - hey people....

my last post was talking about me turning 52 on the west coast.  So what ended up happening is..my training colleague ended up going over to a different project because our projects were being completed so a good amount of our TACs were sent home.

So now I'm the point of contact.  I've been learning alot across the board.  This project should last at least until October, possibly February.  We'll see how it goes.

I'm having a great adulting time.  I got a chance to see my folks at the Turknett Reunion, I'm happy.

Keke has officially moved in the mobile home.  This may work out great because I'm not there everyday and my social awkwardness won't mess it up.

We'll see!

Until further notice....peace and love....love and peace...

p.s. enjoy the family video that I put together for our reunion.

West Coast turn up it is..... #Aries party

Hello World..... 

it's 2024 - it's March - you already knoooow.....the turnup started on March 1st.....

today is 3.20...yes ya girl is hitting 52.....but oh my GAWD....

quick recap - 2023 was all a shit show, i moved into a #DivvyHomes property which had not been properly inspected and it had mold and I got severely ill!  They paid to clean the mold from the property and repair everything that hadn't been done before I moved in but refused (still refuse) to reimburse me for the $$$$$ i had to pay for specialist as I fought to find out WHY suddenly my face was fukked up and I couldn't breathe!

ok..present-day - I got the hell up outta there and tapped into my 401K and bought a mobile home.  While I was getting the hell up outta there I got a call from some colleagues about an opportunity in Cali for a project set to last one year!

Yes, ya girl is in Cali...right now....typing!!  It's 8:34am PST and I'll be turning a year older in a new land.  I'll get back with you on the update.  just know ....that God/Universe and the Ancestors have my back. I'm good and I'm gettin a haircut today! so I can be fly tomorrow.....

BUT....I had a slight panic attack at 1:30a....I promise I will get myself together but there is a part of me that is slowly getting acclimated.

More to come.....Stay tuned!!♈♈♈

Hello world....Well lookie here....

 Hello World.....

Well lookie lookie here!!  It's 2024 and I made it!  Ya'll listen I am tearing up while typing this...why?  because I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to be here to see the new year.  One of my good friends died on her birthday last year, my cousin-brother two weeks older than me passed on his mother's birthday...I just knew I would be part of the number.  I swear...but the Universe had other plans and my ancestors continue to assist me on my journey.  Seems like 52 will be my magic number...i tell you what 51 was a summabytch.  I almost died y'all my decisions to make some moves kept me alive.  But my new living situation had me in a financial jam for real for real.  This year is already looking up.  I have some new revenue streams happening right now with more lined up.  2024 will be on the up and up...let's get it!!