Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm not real sure....

Hello World....

Thank you for tuning in - it's December 28th 2012 and as I look back on my emotional rollercoaster type life i'm not real sure about what I'm doing.

I've been given a few opportunities but I seem to self-sabotage right when I get to the "blessing" part and then that makes me wanna back off and not do what i'm supposed to do.  Forward movement is truly the key but when one side wants to move forward and the other wants to hibernate and hide in a bottle it's a little hard to really function.  I mean really focus and function.  That damn imp named "self-sabotage" and guess what part of that word is "self" *gasp* which means it's in my control.  [raise ya hand if you want to just step on your own toes until you snap yourself out of "it".]  *ARGH!!!*  [hand is raised]

So even as I bask in the warmth of the positive vibes that I am surrounded by with my friends, which (by the way) also keep me grounded and motivated to go forward. LOL!!  Even as I bask and move forward I have moments of panic and  stopped motion.  Sad but true.  I really just want to (and i've said this before) either:
1. go back to the 1980s and catch myself right before i turn my motivation off

or

2. Find me a hypnotist that can turn off the negativity in my brain

i've wasted too much time even thinking about it..2013 I shall concentrate on thinking about the positive outcomes AND to stop putting myself down and speaking back/stupid outcomes into existence!  I shall! I shall! I shall!

In Jesus name....Amen!

*peace and blessings~~and happy kwanza*

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