Oh man...it's been a minute! I usually do a new entry weekly either home or at work but the IE version at work does not work with google so it's no good and end of the business day leaves me drained so i don't do it at home. Soooo i've been absent for quite some time. So I have a lot to try to speak on. Let's see.....
In April, I did a fashion show for ABS Fashion, had a fabulous time! Had a chance to see one of my favorite jewelry accesories from my home state. Shout out to Just Pearlz! A lot of fun connecting with the other models that usually participate AND i got a chance to meet Mrs Georgia US United, Yvette Cousin and it definitely motivated me to look more into plus size modeling because my size is 12, i plan on staying a 12 just need to stay toned up and i need to invest in some good foundation. Smooth out any lumps and bumps. LOL!!
So anyway, that was a fun time and then i got a chance to hang out with some friends and a celebration of life party. Pretty cool concept, they provided the food, the guests provided the libations and they even had a professional bartender. Then on to Eastside Lounge to party with DJ Ghost of the 5 Star Generals and Co-host extradonaire Kimberly Seabrook! Man that was MadCool!! Anyway flash forward (i'm trying to remember everything) I got the call that a one bedroom in my apartment complex has finally become available! I've been trying to get into a 1bdrm since i moved in, i had to go with what was available at the time. So that added to a list of relief/oh god i gotta pack up all this stuff/possible procrastination. So put that on the back burner since this was all in april, i finished out the Spring semester at GSU with an A- and a B! woo hoooo!! i'm so happy about that! I was a little worried for one of my classes. So i'm already registered for the Fall and I have my $$ in place! Yaaay!
I just recently had a looooong overdue conversation with my mom about some childhood issues that have plagued me all of my thinking life and it was happily a great ending. I hadn't realized how much weight it had on me, I literally felt lighter after the conversation. Beautiful! Our Turknett family reunion is coming up (Father's Day weekend - June 15-17) and my clan (Elliotts) have it for this year and next. It's possible that some other branches of cousins will be there! I'm excited! I've already had a chance to meet two cousins during my birthday Miami trip and it'll be real cool to meet more. I actually just found out that one Turknett cousin lives here in Alpharetta. Kinda cool! We haven't met up just yet but it'll happen.
I had 3 friends to celebrate college graduations this year and a few relatives, life on paper and via events is a great thing but for some reason, I just have always had this cloud in my life. I think it's because I've experienced more negative stuff than positive so now I really don't trust people. It's a crazy conflict because my normal personality is be around people and be friends and then a part of me still takes a step back.
-2009.bmp)
Most of my negative experiences had been with the romantic relationships I'd been in, the guys were controlling and sometimes abusive. But my two craziest experiences in Atlanta were in reference to two females that I had invited into my personal space. OMG! And it's crazy to now look back and see past event pics and the person you'd rather not say hello to is right there smiling in all of these pics sitting next to you. Crazy fa real!! But anyway, you cut your losses and move on and pray for their souls, God does the vengeance stuff not me.
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| The Graduates - Tracey & Nicole |
-2009.bmp)
So it's Memorial Day weekend and I'm actively packing to move and of course going thru some old documents and stuff, I dug up some life rules that I'd written years ago and I had to type up my handwritten notes and tape it on my mirror in my bedroom. I'd like to share those statements with you:
- Pray on every decision
- Use common sense and not emotion when making decisions
- No depression allowed! This is a new lease on life!
- Draw and fortify boundaries.
- Realize that I am allowed celebrations.
I had to re-visit my own statements! It's beautiful when you can almost go back in time and pull a positive mood from it AND it shows how far off of the path you've strayed. The great thing about that is as long as you are living, you can correct anything! So I'd slacked off of my exercising and I've been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds for a past few months. Crazy I know! My old walking partner, or i should just say walking partner has been trying to get me back out there and it just never happened. So this weekend, she called two times, early a.m. she didn't know i'd been partying the night before, LOL, so i wasn't available..knocked out cold! So as i was packing yesterday i did stop and do a little stretching and pilates stuff and then my mind told me, we are going walking in the morning. I was like, uuuuh ok. what time..my mind said about 7am. I was like uuuh ok..even had the vivid image of me walking down the sidewalk. The mind is a powerful thang because around 6:30a, my eyes popped open and i fought it until 7:30am. For some reason when i get strong, vivid suggestions I feel that if i don't do it, i'm letting myself down big time AND i'd be missing a blessing. I know it's the holy spirit, it used to give me exact words to way to perfect strangers and I'd be dead on with whatever had just happened. My family has been blessed with certain spiritual gifts and discernment was/is mine. And i've found that when I don't heed to it I get into crazy azz situations. umph! Father God! So i jump up, get dressed in my walking gear and get to it. iPod in ears, water in waste carrier thingy (can't think of the name right now), i'm walking. On my way back, the Clark Sisters "Blessed and Highly Favored" comes on. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the lyrics...
He brought me through hard trials
He brought me through tribulations
I Never let a day go by and not realize
If it Had not been for the Lord who was on my side
Back was against the wall
He looked out for me
He heard my cry and rescued me
I Never let a day go by and not realize we are blessed
Chorus:
Don't take it for granted that we are here today
Just know that we're blessed and highly favored
As I was walking past the first major goal i obtained here in Atlanta - Associates of Arts Degree at Atlanta Metropolitan College and walking towards my old street to go home back in 2004, the bridge hit:
As I look back through the years,
It's amazing how He kept me.
What the devil meant for evil,
God turned it around,
Turned it around just for my good.
I know that I am blessed and highly favored.
It reminded me of where I was when i moved here 8 years ago, what struggles I overcame. I had a determined spirit, I was not hearing no, I knew I was going to get a freakin' degree even if it killed me. I'd literally forgotten how driven i was when I moved here. I knew one person, my aunt and now 8 years and I've connected with so many positive, motivated people it's crazy! I don't know if anybody heard me singing but i was sanging that song at the top of my lungs..well as much as i could, i was hitting a major hill at the time and soon singing just became breathing. LOL!
He brought me through hard trials
He brought me through tribulations
I Never let a day go by and not realize
If it Had not been for the Lord who was on my side
Back was against the wall
He looked out for me
He heard my cry and rescued me
I Never let a day go by and not realize we are blessed
Chorus:
Don't take it for granted that we are here today
Just know that we're blessed and highly favored
As I was walking past the first major goal i obtained here in Atlanta - Associates of Arts Degree at Atlanta Metropolitan College and walking towards my old street to go home back in 2004, the bridge hit:
As I look back through the years,
It's amazing how He kept me.
What the devil meant for evil,
God turned it around,
Turned it around just for my good.
I know that I am blessed and highly favored.
It reminded me of where I was when i moved here 8 years ago, what struggles I overcame. I had a determined spirit, I was not hearing no, I knew I was going to get a freakin' degree even if it killed me. I'd literally forgotten how driven i was when I moved here. I knew one person, my aunt and now 8 years and I've connected with so many positive, motivated people it's crazy! I don't know if anybody heard me singing but i was sanging that song at the top of my lungs..well as much as i could, i was hitting a major hill at the time and soon singing just became breathing. LOL!
So after the 2 miles morning, i got home and cooked and ate breakfast and once i'm done with this, I will get back to breaking down the apartment.
It's amazing (even after the story i just told above) how one can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I'm quick to offer my services, volunteer but when it comes to me doing something....i have a really hard time asking people to help. Mainly because for some crazy reason, I feel like people don't really care or wanna help. (crazy right?) i mean how can i assume that i'm the only person in the world that likes to help people when people all over the world, the different organizations that help constantly. I don't know I'm still working on that.
It's amazing (even after the story i just told above) how one can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I'm quick to offer my services, volunteer but when it comes to me doing something....i have a really hard time asking people to help. Mainly because for some crazy reason, I feel like people don't really care or wanna help. (crazy right?) i mean how can i assume that i'm the only person in the world that likes to help people when people all over the world, the different organizations that help constantly. I don't know I'm still working on that.
I'm not sure what to entitle this blog, it's really an entry to catch up on some thoughts, so maybe i'll title it "Catching Up" we'll see.
Welp! Thank you for being a part of my world for a few moments.
Welp! Thank you for being a part of my world for a few moments.
p.s. Shout out to ATL artist Heratio Valentino for a GREAT show!! You did that dude!! The only part of the memorial day weekend I actually got out and did something. Apache and then Taqueria Tsunami for their delicious tacos (well the whole menu is great but the tacos! mmmmm) and shaking my groove thang with DJ Majestik/Deejay Deliver at One Love Fridays!! High five to my homette/poet/songstress/IT tech extraordinaire (and soon to be Clayton State graduate) Lin Marie for hanging with me! I know i tend to get the roaming gnome bug once i get out and about. LOL!!
Now as I look around me...all of these people, positive people in my life, how in the world can i allow a cloud follow me. In the name of Jesus, i speak to this evil and say GO! back to where you came! Just know...that we are blessed and Highly Favored.
*Peace and blessings*
