What are we doing people?

Hello World...

It has been a moment, a hot minute. There's a part of me that is ready to delve into the world of romance. 

:-)  (enjoy this soundtrack of love as you read) Yes I have a bunch of stuff happening in my world. I work full-time in a career field that has nothing to do with my passion, i just turned 40 and I'm a full-time student at GSU.  On one hand it can be very overwhelming but on the other hand, I get to share in the joy and laughter of the passions of friends I am meeting along the way. It's a beautiful thing!  A friend of mine has an annual event that started as a small house gathering and has morphed into a full event sponsored by Clayton County in Georgia and Microsoft and a few other big-time sponsors.  It pays homage to local ATL talent, adults and kids in the arts by giving to Project A.R.M. and just giving a stage for talent to shine.  It's the Annual Fish Fry and it ended with soul artist Philipia Williams on stage and a huge fireworks show just great!

me and the creator of the Annual Fish Fry - Anthony "AJ " Joiner

So that was a beautiful thing to enjoy with friends and at some point i ended up winning tickets to see some jazz phenomenoms - kim waters, marion meadows and joey sommerville and paul taylor.  I thought I had a date..well..yeah.  So there was this dude, very cute, very articulate, accomplished and during conversation after I'd asked to roll with me to the jazz event, he let me know that he was about 8 years my junior.  uuuh yeah, my spirit kinda deflated...like fa real. LOL!! So when he called to cancel, i wasn't too heartbroken. (whew) So it ended up being a girls night out which was cool de la because we ended up hanging out backstage with some folks my homegirl knew and MAN! I had a baaall... AND there was a second fish fry after the one mentioned above in a different location. A warehouse spot. $10 all you can eat fish/fries and beer. Beautiful! We stopped thru there after the jazz experience. MAN! THAT was a weekend! LOL!! So then the next day (sunday) i ended up at the national black arts festival (NBAF).  Got introduced to a local soul/rhythm and blues artist by the name of Alex Lattimore .  You know how you see somebody and they LOOK like they can sing? This guy had that look. ANd listen, we were outside in 90+ degree weather, no real cover where me and my homette were sitting. WE had our lawn chairs and umbrellas so he needed to BRANG it and make us feel good about baking. LOL! And listen...this guy is the business! i'm purchasing his new CD immediately. He did his thang!

Whoo i'm not sure what else I have forgot but anyway that's the beauty of editing. LOL!  So...uuh...my spirit is in the process of unattaching (yeah i'll say it like that) and so i'm ready for a full bloom of love, romance and intimacy in my life.  Even with the stuff that mentioned above, i'd love to have someone that appreciates that and i can share with and also support in their ventures. (le sigh) Love is a beautiful thing (you may wanna click on the soundtrack again) LOL.  School is about to start for us - Fall 2012 is August 20th and i'm gearing up slowly to get back in that realm.  i can't remember if i mentioned this in another post but i moved from a 2 to a 1 bedroom and believe it or not (i don't care) i still have part of my stuff in totes. i honestly need to purchase some other organizational/storage items.  I still have clothing in my car that needs to be donated (just horrible). I used HUGE boxes to move and oh yes, i'm 3 floors up and so I still have two boxes that are now trash boxes still sitting in my kitchen area. I need to take to dumpster soon but they are HUGE! (argh!)  Ok i'm sure this is quite enough for today.  Oh yes, speaking of today a horrible tragedy happened in the wee hours of the day.  During the midnite showing of "The Dark Knight Rises" a crazed idiot walked in wearing kevlar and a gas mask and dropped a gas canister and started shooting people! The cops now realize he had thousands of rounds of bullets and his home is booby-trapped.  So a part of me is mourning the loss of innocent lives (and of course now no one can dress up anymore; new theater rules) but another part of me is wondering how some people feel that they use so much energy trying to keep "minorities" down (we are still fighting the Treyvon Martin incident) a societal accepted idiot walked into a place and killed a bunch of folks. i don't know maybe...whatever. society will NOT care about the deeper regions of this incident.

Hiphop lost a great pioneer Ms. Melodie passed the other night. She was only 43! I don't know what is happening with my age group but we are dropping like flies!  We are NOT taking our health seriously and then you see pics of 73 year old body building ladies looking younger than us.  We have to take better care of ourselves inside and out!  I try to tell my mother the same thing, she's 23 years my senior but i fear it's too late. she's grown, she's gonna do what she's gonna do. I had the displeasure of watching my paternal grandfather die due to his own choices. he was a severe diabetic and would not follow the doctor's orders so he slowly got stuff amputated and eventually was bedridden, being fed by a tube. Then my grandmother died of a broken heart and in between that my grandmother's sister died (not sure of what). I lost 3 ppl around the same time that i was trying to get to know. One due to medical craziness!  So anyway. What are we doing folks? Why?

Oh yeah, even though i was married before and it went waaaay wrong (found out i was married to a controlling serial marryier - new word; i was wife#4) i'd love to get married again; but guess what? i'm actually thinking of going into a co-parenting situation. No fa real. Like i've discussed it with the guy i have in mind. But a part of that is like "hmmm you're good enough to impregnate me but not enough for me to want to marry?"  I think my issue is that i've gotten very very set in my ways and would and could function in a relationship like that.  OMG! isn't that sad??  I don't know maybe once my mr. right finds me it'll all come together. *kanye shrug*  my biggest thing is that i don't want my mom's biological line to end. my adopted sisters have kiddos but i'd love to be able to see a mini me (or two) my maternal grandfather (john elliott) was a twin i'd love to have twins or even quads and get it over with. LOL! but who knows what my body will do, what the RA will do at 40+ years. Hell i may be heading into "the change" soon, i don't know.

So with ALL of this being said, my prayers go out to families that area dealing with loss and the families of the deceased and wounded of colorado.  Welp! Time for a late night fish sammich and then I'm going nite nite!  :-)

*peace and blessings*

Hey how you doing?

Hello World...

As I start to type this blog De La Soul's song "Hey How Ya Doing" is flowing thru my head. LOL!  Man. I'm sitting amongst boxes and totes and unhung pictures. LOL! I got the basics hooked up though, immediately hooked up all TVs/entertainment center, phone, WiFi, kitchen stuff. So for the most part, I'm good. I have unwrapped/unpacked some of my clothing and shoes but still need to do that.  I thought I was going to have more time to get to it since I knew I needed to get some other stuff done for our upcoming family reunion this Father's Day/Juneteenth Weekend however due to the same reunion, one of my uncles will be driving thru on the way to Texas and as is our family tradition, we stop in and spend time with the closest family member.  So I'll have my first house guest this weekend, probably today.  Therefore, I need to really re-arrange some of these boxes.  Maybe even unpack some more stuff. (whew) Welp after breakfast i'm on it.  So anyway people, these days things seem to be going great!  I decided to remove myself from a uuuuh crazy situation recently and uuuh even though my emotions are still slowly disconnecting, I'm letting my brain run this one. LOL!  I tell you what, hoooo, when you decide to connect to something, even if it's not in your best interests your emotions don't know the difference.

My lesson and piece of wisdom to you is to look out for you at all times because if you don't, no one else will.  And a motto that I picked up a few years ago is to never make someone a priority that sees you as an option and MORE importantly NEVER put yourself in the option category.  Ladies seem to do that from time to time.  It starts out as great fun but eventually turns into something else and then you have to make a decision..stay and make yourself enjoy it or leave and mourn the loss of the closeness but enjoy the fact that you are healing and opening a door for true relationship.

I am finally starting to enjoy life,  this move into this 1bdrm is another clear sign of the forward movement that is happening and I'm excited about it!

Ok that's it for now, i'm waiting for my rice to finish and then I'm getting active.

**peace and blessings*

I'm working on it...

Hello World!!

Oh man...it's been a minute! I usually do a new entry weekly either home or at work but the IE version at work does not work with google so it's no good and end of the business day leaves me drained so i don't do it at home.  Soooo i've been absent for quite some time.  So I have a lot to try to speak on.  Let's see.....

In April, I did a fashion show for ABS Fashion, had a fabulous time!  Had a chance to see one of my favorite jewelry accesories from my home state.  Shout out to Just Pearlz! A lot of fun connecting with the other models that usually participate AND i got a chance to meet Mrs Georgia US United, Yvette Cousin and it definitely motivated me to look more into plus size modeling because my size is 12, i plan on staying a 12 just need to stay toned up and i need to invest in some good foundation. Smooth out any lumps and bumps. LOL!!

So anyway, that was a fun time and then i got a chance to hang out with some friends and a celebration of life party. Pretty cool concept, they provided the food, the guests provided the libations and they even had a professional bartender. Then on to Eastside Lounge  to party with DJ Ghost of the 5 Star Generals and Co-host extradonaire Kimberly Seabrook! Man that was MadCool!!  Anyway flash forward (i'm trying to remember everything) I got the call that a one bedroom in my apartment complex has finally become available! I've been trying to get into a 1bdrm since i moved in, i had to go with what was available at the time. So that added to a list of relief/oh god i gotta pack up all this stuff/possible procrastination.  So put that on the back burner since this was all in april, i finished out the Spring semester at GSU with an A- and a B!  woo hoooo!! i'm so happy about that! I was a little worried for one of my classes.  So i'm already registered for the Fall and I have my $$ in place! Yaaay!

I just recently had a looooong overdue conversation with my mom about some childhood issues that have plagued me all of my thinking life and it was happily a great ending.  I hadn't realized how much weight it had on me, I literally felt lighter after the conversation.  Beautiful!  Our Turknett family reunion is coming up (Father's Day weekend - June 15-17) and my clan (Elliotts) have it for this year and next.  It's possible that some other branches of cousins will be there! I'm excited! I've already had a chance to meet two cousins during my birthday Miami trip and it'll be real cool to meet more.  I actually just found out that one Turknett cousin lives here in Alpharetta. Kinda cool!  We haven't met up just yet but it'll happen. 



The Graduates - Tracey & Nicole

 I had 3 friends to celebrate college graduations this year and a few relatives, life on paper and via events is a great thing but for some reason, I just have always had this cloud in my life.  I think it's because I've experienced more negative stuff than positive so now I really don't trust people.  It's a crazy conflict because my normal personality is be around people and be friends and then a part of me still takes a step back.

Most of my negative experiences had been with the romantic relationships I'd been in, the guys were controlling and sometimes abusive.  But my two craziest experiences in Atlanta were in reference to two females that I had invited into my personal space.  OMG! And it's crazy to now look back and see past event pics and the person you'd rather not say hello to is right there smiling in all of these pics sitting next to you. Crazy fa real!!  But anyway, you cut your losses and move on and pray for their souls, God does the vengeance stuff not me.

So it's Memorial Day weekend and I'm actively packing to move and of course going thru some old documents and stuff, I dug up some life rules that I'd written years ago and I had to type up my handwritten notes and tape it on my mirror in my bedroom.  I'd like to share those statements with you:

• Pray on every decision
• Use common sense and not emotion when making decisions
• No depression allowed! This is a new lease on life!
• Draw and fortify boundaries.
• Realize that I am allowed celebrations.

I had to re-visit my own statements! It's beautiful when you can almost go back in time and pull a positive mood from it AND it shows how far off of the path you've strayed.  The great thing about that is as long as you are living, you can correct anything!  So I'd slacked off of my exercising and I've been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds for a past few months. Crazy I know! My old walking partner, or i should just say walking partner has been trying to get me back out there and it just never happened.  So this weekend, she called two times, early a.m. she didn't know i'd been partying the night before, LOL, so i wasn't available..knocked out cold!  So as i was packing yesterday i did stop and do a little stretching and pilates stuff and then my mind told me, we are going walking in the morning. I was like, uuuuh ok. what time..my mind said about 7am. I was like uuuh ok..even had the vivid image of me walking down the sidewalk.  The mind is a powerful thang because around 6:30a, my eyes popped open and i fought it until 7:30am.  For some reason when i get strong, vivid suggestions I feel that if i don't do it, i'm letting myself down big time AND i'd be missing a blessing.  I know it's the holy spirit, it used to give me exact words to way to  perfect strangers and I'd be dead on with whatever had just happened.  My family has been blessed with certain spiritual gifts and discernment was/is mine.  And i've found that when I don't heed to it I get into crazy azz situations.  umph! Father God!  So i jump up, get dressed in my walking gear and get to it.  iPod in ears, water in waste carrier thingy (can't think of the name right now), i'm walking.  On my way back, the Clark Sisters "Blessed and Highly Favored" comes on.  I'm not sure if you are familiar with the lyrics...

He brought me through hard trials
He brought me through tribulations
I Never let a day go by and not realize
If it Had not been for the Lord who was on my side

Back was against the wall
He looked out for me
He heard my cry and rescued me
I Never let a day go by and not realize we are blessed

Chorus:
Don't take it for granted that we are here today
Just know that we're blessed and highly favored
As I was walking past the first major goal i obtained here in Atlanta - Associates of Arts Degree at Atlanta Metropolitan College and walking towards my old street to go home back in 2004, the bridge hit:

As I look back through the years,
It's amazing how He kept me.

What the devil meant for evil,
God turned it around,
Turned it around just for my good.

I know that I am blessed and highly favored.

It reminded me of where I was when i moved here 8 years ago, what struggles I overcame.  I had a determined spirit, I was not hearing no, I knew I was going to get a freakin' degree even if it killed me.  I'd literally forgotten how driven i was when I moved here.  I knew one person, my aunt and now 8 years and I've connected with so many positive, motivated people it's crazy!  I don't know if anybody heard me singing but i was sanging that song at the top of my lungs..well as much as i could, i was hitting a major hill at the time and soon singing just became breathing. LOL!

So after the 2 miles morning, i got home and cooked and ate breakfast and once i'm done with this, I will get back to breaking down the apartment. 

It's amazing (even after the story i just told above) how one can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I'm quick to offer my services, volunteer but when it comes to me doing something....i have a really hard time asking people to help.  Mainly because for some crazy reason, I feel like people don't really care or wanna help. (crazy right?) i mean how can i assume that i'm the only person in the world that likes to help people when people all over the world, the different organizations that help constantly.  I don't know I'm still working on that.

I'm not sure what to entitle this blog, it's really an entry to catch up on some thoughts, so maybe i'll title it "Catching Up" we'll see. 

Welp! Thank you for being a part of my world for a few moments.

p.s. Shout out to ATL artist Heratio Valentino for a GREAT show!! You did that dude!! The only part of the memorial day weekend I actually got out and did something. Apache and then Taqueria Tsunami for their delicious tacos (well the whole menu is great but the tacos! mmmmm) and shaking my groove thang with DJ Majestik/Deejay Deliver at One Love Fridays!!  High five to my homette/poet/songstress/IT tech extraordinaire (and soon to be Clayton State graduate) Lin Marie for hanging with me!  I know i tend to get the roaming gnome bug once i get out and about. LOL!!

Now as I look around me...all of these people, positive people in my life, how in the world can i allow a cloud follow me. In the name of Jesus, i speak to this evil and say GO! back to where you came!  Just know...that we are blessed and Highly Favored.

*Peace and blessings*

Our elders were on to something...

Hello World...

I was just thinking about some of the vocabulary we used and were taught by our elders.  Little did we know we were sometimes speaking the Queen's English and using words from other countries.  You don't believe me?  Raise your hand if you ever sat on a Divan this has a turkish/european origin.  Did I get your attention?  Raise your hand if you ever put your clothes in the highboy , this is 17th to 18th century fancy furniture that some of use grew up with and didn't even know what we had.  Isn't it neat how the words were passed down?  How 'bout when you are sitting on the commode?  Here's the twist to this word.  Commode originates from France to describe a piece of furniture but the good ole US of A (ex-colonists) decided to use it to describe the toilet.  But not too many folks use it anymore.  I find myself using the word from time to time but not much.  One word that i couldn't find that I remember my step-grt-grandmother (Elnora Turknett) use it the garrey, also known as the porch.  I'm not quite sure if it's "garrett" or "garrey" but I knew what she meant.  I'm unsure of it's origin.  Oh yes and one more the "ice box" and the "fridgidaire" were terms we used as kids for the "refrigerator".  Ice Box ( i do know) because at one point people used to literally get blocks of ice and put it in to keep food from spoiling due to having no electricity.  And the term "fridgidaire" was actually a name brand of a refrigerator, apparently very popular to the point that people used that term to describe the piece of equipment.  Kind of like how we'll say "kleenex" versus tissue paper no matter what brand it is.  Simply because people will know what you're asking for.

There are lot of languages that I wish were passed down that we'd be the better for at this present-day for knowing.  Like patoi and creole.  A lot of us Texans have roots in Louisiana as well as whatever tribal blood got mixed in there and there are so many cultural habits and terms that got lost because people felt it was something to be ashamed of.  There is a part of me that almost feels lost because I don't know anything about parts of my background.

Well anyway, even though big mama, granny, papa, big daddy sometimes didn't have the GREAT education that some people have today, they were alot smarter in some cases and no matter what you say, they were on to something.  It's too bad we're losing it.  I think we have literally gotten too big for our britches...obviously since our young men, kings of the kingdom now choose to wear them tight and below their butts.

*peace and blessings*

Well let's see...

Hello World!!!

Wow! This past weekend seems to be a blur and I think it had to do with my dental appointment.  Ok so I have close to $3k of dental work to be done (yaaay me) which includes multiple root canals, thus the high price tag.  Well I had my first appointment this past Friday, it was a major cleaning (i wanted to kill the hygienist) AND the root canal (i didn't care).  So the cleaning was the harsh one, the deep one...i didn't realize how tensed up i was until she said "ok i'm done".  I swear i wanted to choke her!  She felt me flinching and shit..she knew that mess hurt. More novacaine next time ma'am! *ugh!* 

So then it was time for the root canal.  Yeah so I wasn't aware of the double appointment before I got there, I thought I was just gettin' the cleaning so I made for sure they had my nitrous oxide set up.  So i got over there in the dentist's chair and they hooked me up..but the dental assistant was smart, she hooked me up to pure oxygen so i could sign the "paperwork" this was also getting my system ripe for the nitrous on the way.  So she turned it on and baaaa aaaaayaaaayaaay by!!!  WOOOO!! I was higher than i've ever been in life and it was legal and paid for by my medical benefits!  And i think i actually tweeted that in the chair. LOL!!  OH yeah AND i had my iPod in my ears so i was jammin'.  So all of this drilling and shit was happening and i'm sitting there jammin' to r. kelly's "i'm loving you tonight" and feeling good...imagining myself dancing for my boyfriend. (those that know me know i don't have one so it was the nitrous) LOL!!

So anyway afterwards, i was up and at 'em, then went home and slept it off and woke up Saturday a.m. and went to class and went back home and took a nap and woke up and did homework and then helped an Aries celebrate and ended up party hopping with some friends and then spent Sunday doing homework!!!

So...well let's see....i had a good time!

I thank God for letting me wake up another day to be annoyed by other human errors....

*peace and blessings*

Communication is the key!

Hello World!

I'll start this off with a definition. 

According to merriam-webster - Communication: 1: an act or instance of transmitting 2a : information transmitted or conveyed b : a verbal or written message 3a : a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior <the function of pheromones in insect communication>; also : exchange of information b : personal rapport <a lack of communication between old and young persons>
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This is a short one today and I know it's been awhile since I've elated your eyes with wonderful craziness!  I am an admin assistant by day and Film/Video aka aspiring sound engineer student during the night and some weekends depending on the semester. *GO GSU*  So the other day at my day job, I was away from my desk and an executive/managerial type person left an empty Pentel box on my desk with a written message stating "order me a couple of boxes of these".  (for those that do not know, Pentel is a pen manufacturer)  Now on the box is Pentel in big red letters, nothing else.  So i look up the bar code on the bottom it brought up a Pentel Rolling Writer (black), there was also another barcode on stickers all over the box and that number brought up a Pentel Rolling Writer (red).  Mystery solved, right? WRONG!!  Ok, when it comes to office supplies, if someone needs a specific item right away, they will sometimes lookup the item number or barcode and shoot me an email and say I need THIS one right away.  So him leaving the box with the barcodes and message was no problem, the problem is that he didn't want the Pentel Rolling Writer. 

*Travel with me down crazy lane....*

I've been doing admin support type work for about 20 years now and what I find is that some people simply do not know how to communicate anything clearly to the next person.  Instead they are using information in their head, meaning only info that they know, not realizing that it's never been verbalized to anyone else.  So they approach and begin a conversation as if everyone has been included in this one person conversation and decision that's probably been going on for quite some time in their head.  (you ever had that happen to you?)

Ok, so immediately I send him an email and say "hey, these barcodes are pulling up Pentel Rolling Writer red and black and your message said to get you a couple of boxes, so I want to verify that you want two boxes of each.  Is that correct?"  His reply "well no actually I wanted the Pentel Sign Pens." (another type of pen)  My reply "Ok.  So you want two boxes of red and black Pentel sign pens?"  His reply "no actually I want assorted colors." me looking at the email: O_o

I felt like I'd just left the dentist's chair!!  Jesus!! How hard is it to send an email requesting 2 boxes of assorted colored Pentel Sign pens?????????  *wooooo sah!!!*

yeah so....uuuh.  this person is getting paid a six-figure salary to do some, i'm sure, major multi-million/billion dollar work for this firm which means LOTS of communication to others that will report to him and let's not forget prospective clients, yet he could not communicate to me clearly on ordering some pens.  I've seen this scenario hundreds of times and it used to bother me to the hilt. But now I just have a 2-second moment (sometimes 3 seconds),  pray for them and their loved ones and move on because if they communicate that poorly with me at the job, I can imagine what type of family life they have.  Sad to say.

So the moral of this story is COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!!!

*peace and blessings*

Reality Traveling - Hitting the road to see the sights..

Hello World...

I've noticed several restaurants and salons in different cities that I'd love to travel and visit.  And this morning, while getting dressed and watching Dr Phil, the commercial for "Sweetie Pie's" came on and it was then that I confirmed that this summer, I will be doing what I call "Reality Traveling - Hitting the Road to see the sights".  I already have a tentative trip to NY in June scheduled so I will be hitting the Johnny Rockets Sports Bar there (saw it on Under Cover Boss) and the Miss Jessies original salon is there so I'll be making an appt to get my "hur did" at the salon and I'm sure I'll find a few other things to do in that city.  Next up on the list is Sweetie Pie's...I'm going to have to hit St Louis and taste Ms. Robbie's vittles for myself and find some other stuff to do.

In the words of Mary Mary "i'm walking, i'm walking, i'm walking".

2012...Forward Movement...Let's Get it!!!