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So just recently I have begun reclaiming my spiritual journey...slowly but truly. Being raised in church and having my own relationship with God, a church home is the norm for me. When I moved here from Houston back in 2004 I joined two spots..one due to popularity of a daily TV ministry I watched in Houston which ended up being something else entirely...the other one I was spiritually drawn to and once there the message ALWAYS matched my prayer need, my spiritual gifts were flowing but there was an off aura in the sanctuary from the congregation. More of "look at me" than "let me help you" and I had to get on outta there before I got bitter. I haven't had a church home in quite some time. I've visited churches but never felt a full connection...so I was still searching.
A few years back a good girlfriend of mine who knows my love for spoken word, music and my birthday sign (Aries stand up! LOL), bought me a ticket to a J Fly/Fly Trap birthday concert a few years ago at the now defunct Sambucas on Piedmont which happened to also be the weekend of my birthday. I found out that our birthdays are 2 days apart (how cool!) so I knew this had to be a good guy. I mean hey he's an Aries and we're good people and plus his life actions showed what he's about. So I became acquainted with this phenomenon called J Fly (whom I nicknamed Aries..hey it's our sign. LOL) and his non-profit organization "How Big Is Your Dream". At this point, I am a fan of the organization of which I've blogged about in a previous post (see Follow the Signs) and in response to the first blog, J and I ended up having a discussion. We discussed my religious background, our church experiences and the similarities and instead of him saying "hey why aren't you in church?" (something i've grown used to hearing from people at this point) he said "hey come visit my church". And from this discussion we have become cool friends. He's a tad younger, so he's like the younger, wise brother I've never had. (I have a younger brother but that's a whole 'nother ball game... O_o) ANYway....when you meet people that just have good spirits, especially a man, please know that a great woman of that same spirit "ain't" far away. After becoming a fan of the organization, me and my friends would make sure to get to an event if the Fly Trap was playing so I normally only saw Mrs Flynn in her volunteer mode during all of J's events, passing out flyers and whatever else needed to be done but I've gotten a chance to actually meet her and what a beautiful spirit and their daughter is a mini-me of both of these spirits! As you can tell by this last comment, eventually I visited the church and needless to say, I'm hooked! It's a little scary but I'm going to roll with it.
Ok that's the preface...let's get to the meat....so I am now piecing everything back together and this past Sunday I not only went to 11am service but attended the first night of the Action Living Conference and just attended tonight. I almost didn't go. Coming out of a holiday weekend, I was feeling real peaceful today (Tuesday) in a weird kind of way and during a morning convo, I was asked "how i was feeling" and my answer was "peaceful in a weird kind of way". So my friend asked me "how is peace weird?" and I had to laugh and said "because i rarely have it". So i'm wondering if I spoke the craziness into existence. (hmmm) I make that statement because by the end of the day, i was stressing. Missed class due to having to wait around at work until some stuff got finished [ok cool i would've been just a few minutes late] and THEN got to my car and [what do we have] oh yeah, a flat tire! So I traipse on across the street to GoodYear because I'd had a tire fixed and my tires were rotated so I was thinking it was the same one..oh no..this was a different tire...another nail in a different tire. [who woulda thunk it???] not I! So then the mechanic says oh yeah it was a different tire so that'll be $32.95. [WHAT??] Can I just tell you that at this point, I wasn't at the point of crying, I was just irritated and numb. How could a basically good spirited day end up like this? I immediately told him right then and there I don't have any money to pay for this because I thought it was the same tire which would've been no charge. So the guy kinda looked at me and then gave me my keys and said "you're good to go". I hope I didn't yell at him, I don't even really remember being there like I know it happened but I was so numb by this time. So I eventually drive away but I'm stressing and by this time it's about 5pm, I needed to be in class for 5:30p but now I'm in major traffic. Ok with all of this happening, I still needed to go to campus to get a new parking permit for Fall 2012 and the office that I need to go to closes at 7pm...i get there at 7:01p and baaaaybay they are CLOSED!!! [GREAT!] I've missed class and wasn't able to get a new parking permit. So i'ma have to hit it tomorrow(today) but by now I'm pretty much over being stressed and I'm just kinda like numb + thinking "ok Lord..what in the heck is happening right now?". By the time I got back to my car...i wanted a drink..well a part of me did and another part of me said "uuuuh excuse me ma'am go to church!" and at this point, I'd actually vented to a couple of people including my Aries brother and he made the response that needed to be said "come to church". So as I went through my stages of emotional madness, I pointed my car towards church and went!
Praise and Worship was effective but I was still numb and still stressing...I was singing but felt a disconnect somewhere, somehow hollowed out...and so I asked God to show me if I didn't need to be at this church to show me if he was leading me elsewhere. Once Pastor Riva Tims got up, she got right into the Word and her title was "Don't Let the Storm Stop You" [REALLY?] Immediately I had a flashback of my experiences when I went to church in Houston at my home church Abundant Life Cathedral. Everytime I stepped in that sanctuary, Pastor Ed's sermon would knock me upside my head with an answer to my current dilemma. Well She hit the nail on the head, including the flat tire. Too funny!!!!! It was like God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying "I'm happening right now, pay attention." So God showed me right quick that I do need to be at Gospel Tabernacle Church and next Sunday will be my time to step up. Anyway, she told us about 3 types of storms we encounter:
- the minor storm that just tests your faith that irritates you (i.e. people talking about you)
- the YOU storm where there is no one or nothing else stopping you but you (i.e. self-sabotage)
- the spiritual storm that you go through to relocate you to where you need to be for your next level
So that sermon is what I needed to reactivate/engage my memory and act right! LOL! I have to laugh at myself because I'm sitting around worried about what people think of me instead of what God thinks of me. Not in the manner of bad reputation, I mean I almost reverted back to an old mindset where I was worried of people were making fun of me or talking about me (1st storm type) and that's bananas! So thank you Father for re-directing me to a place that I can regroup and react accordingly. I had to remind myself of the Nissa that was strong and stubborn and got stuff done versus the one that decided to give up! So thank you Lord, for real!
So my bottomline message to anyone reading this is when you know that you have a spiritual assignment, when you see that each time you take a step forward, miraculously the next door opens and you're able to keep going. When you see that you are in that type of situation but your current surroundings don't seem to line up with what needs to be done. When your resources don't seem to be there for what you know needs to be done, keep going forward.
The song that the Minister of Worship ( Elder Darwin Hobbs) ministered after Pastor Tims's sermon was Israel Houghton's "I will follow you Forward". The chorus exclaims:
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