Nothing to fear but your own self-doubt...

Hello World!!!!

Wow!  I just had one of the most awesome opportunities in my lifetime.  Through another friend, I connected with this lady that makes her money "sanging".  One thing I want to do before i leave this earth because i love music, i've been singing and playing since I was 3 years old, I want to sing background vocals. I'm not and have never been the lead singing type of person, somebody has to be the backup. I love harmony, i can hear the harmony immediately, that's my talent. But somewhere in my life i gave up on myself. I let self-doubt run me. Now on the outside, I encourage all of those around me to do "it", whatever their "it" is but when it comes to me, I try to hide. So back to my recent debacle.  I had a chance to audition at Club Ellery's this past Wednesday for Tabitha King and as far as the vocal part, i think i did a pretty darn good job. BUT my weakness is to stop being scared of people. OMG! I haven't been that scared since I was about 6 years old and I was at summer rec camp and I walked about 20 miles home because i felt there were too many kids standing in front of the arts and crafts building.  And the end result was the same. LOL! I remember parts but not all of the actual event.  Normally if i drink some liquid courage, i'm good but this time around even that didn't work.

Now here's the thing, I started out right..i talked to the band I talked to the crowd I started out good. Somewhere in the song, I froze. If i could've crawled up into myself I would have. WHY? I have NO idea. I didn't hit no bad notes, I don't know. I had a friend..heck a family member that was visiting, make that family members and one of them happen to be a music major and he helped me by having me do vocal exercises and I performed and he was able to give me tips on performing. And i mean just that, helped because I used it a little at least before I froze..LOL plus I will keep that with me ALWAYS.  AND it pushes me to get off my butt and get the vocal lessons i need and get some performing experience and STOP being scared. i'm tired of being scared, i really am.

Now 1. i'm proud of me for performing. i've never performed at a nightclub out front and center.  So i'm done dogging myself out. And 2. it's time to make a battle plan.

So I end this by saying There is nothing to fear but your own self-doubt..because that is YOUR fuel for fear! I encourage each of you reading this to face your battles, your obstacles and get it done.  ANd know that as you move forward, the Universe, God, the Father, Allah, Jehovah is there to guide you AND whatever you need to move forward is supplied.  The other night i needed encouragement and even though I chose to still be scared, that encouragement that my girlfriend gave me was needed and it was used.  The Lord had my back even in the nightclub. LOL!  So folks. Please believe in yourself and like the Donald Lawrence songs says sometimes you have to encourage yourself and guess what. It works.

Hugs and be well!
*Peace and Blessings*

Go Go Gadget Fro - Follow up

so i'm still using Ovations. It's working to keep my hair on my head. i'm about to try Jane Carter's curl defining cream. I went to Roswell Road's Whole Foods today and got that plus her leave-in spray conditioner which i buy anyway.  so i'm about to try it and see what my head does.  At this point, Taliah Waajid's Total Mist Bodifier leave-in conditioner works wonders! Love it. But i love jane and ms jessies.

Anyway....stay tune.

Speaking of Passions....Every Good Man Ain't For You

Sooooo i recently came into contact with a local talent Ms. Tabitha King. She's actually a friend of a friend and during conversation i handed her a business card which shows that I'm an alto background vocalist and she's (at some point) going to connect with me to see if my voice blends well with hers. I'm excited! I'm committed to roll with my passion in 2012. the year is almost over (well it is) and i will be on a stage doing what i love before long. that is my promise to myself.  i really wanna take voice lessons though, with my voice change, i need to re-discover my range and other voice stuff. *shrug* it'll happen.  ok that's it!

Roll with your passion people!

oh yeah ONE more thing - ladies - every good man ain't for you! (let it marinate)

*peace and blessings*

What are we doing people?

Hello World...

It has been a moment, a hot minute. There's a part of me that is ready to delve into the world of romance. 

:-)  (enjoy this soundtrack of love as you read) Yes I have a bunch of stuff happening in my world. I work full-time in a career field that has nothing to do with my passion, i just turned 40 and I'm a full-time student at GSU.  On one hand it can be very overwhelming but on the other hand, I get to share in the joy and laughter of the passions of friends I am meeting along the way. It's a beautiful thing!  A friend of mine has an annual event that started as a small house gathering and has morphed into a full event sponsored by Clayton County in Georgia and Microsoft and a few other big-time sponsors.  It pays homage to local ATL talent, adults and kids in the arts by giving to Project A.R.M. and just giving a stage for talent to shine.  It's the Annual Fish Fry and it ended with soul artist Philipia Williams on stage and a huge fireworks show just great!

me and the creator of the Annual Fish Fry - Anthony "AJ " Joiner

So that was a beautiful thing to enjoy with friends and at some point i ended up winning tickets to see some jazz phenomenoms - kim waters, marion meadows and joey sommerville and paul taylor.  I thought I had a date..well..yeah.  So there was this dude, very cute, very articulate, accomplished and during conversation after I'd asked to roll with me to the jazz event, he let me know that he was about 8 years my junior.  uuuh yeah, my spirit kinda deflated...like fa real. LOL!! So when he called to cancel, i wasn't too heartbroken. (whew) So it ended up being a girls night out which was cool de la because we ended up hanging out backstage with some folks my homegirl knew and MAN! I had a baaall... AND there was a second fish fry after the one mentioned above in a different location. A warehouse spot. $10 all you can eat fish/fries and beer. Beautiful! We stopped thru there after the jazz experience. MAN! THAT was a weekend! LOL!! So then the next day (sunday) i ended up at the national black arts festival (NBAF).  Got introduced to a local soul/rhythm and blues artist by the name of Alex Lattimore .  You know how you see somebody and they LOOK like they can sing? This guy had that look. ANd listen, we were outside in 90+ degree weather, no real cover where me and my homette were sitting. WE had our lawn chairs and umbrellas so he needed to BRANG it and make us feel good about baking. LOL! And listen...this guy is the business! i'm purchasing his new CD immediately. He did his thang!

Whoo i'm not sure what else I have forgot but anyway that's the beauty of editing. LOL!  So...uuh...my spirit is in the process of unattaching (yeah i'll say it like that) and so i'm ready for a full bloom of love, romance and intimacy in my life.  Even with the stuff that mentioned above, i'd love to have someone that appreciates that and i can share with and also support in their ventures. (le sigh) Love is a beautiful thing (you may wanna click on the soundtrack again) LOL.  School is about to start for us - Fall 2012 is August 20th and i'm gearing up slowly to get back in that realm.  i can't remember if i mentioned this in another post but i moved from a 2 to a 1 bedroom and believe it or not (i don't care) i still have part of my stuff in totes. i honestly need to purchase some other organizational/storage items.  I still have clothing in my car that needs to be donated (just horrible). I used HUGE boxes to move and oh yes, i'm 3 floors up and so I still have two boxes that are now trash boxes still sitting in my kitchen area. I need to take to dumpster soon but they are HUGE! (argh!)  Ok i'm sure this is quite enough for today.  Oh yes, speaking of today a horrible tragedy happened in the wee hours of the day.  During the midnite showing of "The Dark Knight Rises" a crazed idiot walked in wearing kevlar and a gas mask and dropped a gas canister and started shooting people! The cops now realize he had thousands of rounds of bullets and his home is booby-trapped.  So a part of me is mourning the loss of innocent lives (and of course now no one can dress up anymore; new theater rules) but another part of me is wondering how some people feel that they use so much energy trying to keep "minorities" down (we are still fighting the Treyvon Martin incident) a societal accepted idiot walked into a place and killed a bunch of folks. i don't know maybe...whatever. society will NOT care about the deeper regions of this incident.

Hiphop lost a great pioneer Ms. Melodie passed the other night. She was only 43! I don't know what is happening with my age group but we are dropping like flies!  We are NOT taking our health seriously and then you see pics of 73 year old body building ladies looking younger than us.  We have to take better care of ourselves inside and out!  I try to tell my mother the same thing, she's 23 years my senior but i fear it's too late. she's grown, she's gonna do what she's gonna do. I had the displeasure of watching my paternal grandfather die due to his own choices. he was a severe diabetic and would not follow the doctor's orders so he slowly got stuff amputated and eventually was bedridden, being fed by a tube. Then my grandmother died of a broken heart and in between that my grandmother's sister died (not sure of what). I lost 3 ppl around the same time that i was trying to get to know. One due to medical craziness!  So anyway. What are we doing folks? Why?

Oh yeah, even though i was married before and it went waaaay wrong (found out i was married to a controlling serial marryier - new word; i was wife#4) i'd love to get married again; but guess what? i'm actually thinking of going into a co-parenting situation. No fa real. Like i've discussed it with the guy i have in mind. But a part of that is like "hmmm you're good enough to impregnate me but not enough for me to want to marry?"  I think my issue is that i've gotten very very set in my ways and would and could function in a relationship like that.  OMG! isn't that sad??  I don't know maybe once my mr. right finds me it'll all come together. *kanye shrug*  my biggest thing is that i don't want my mom's biological line to end. my adopted sisters have kiddos but i'd love to be able to see a mini me (or two) my maternal grandfather (john elliott) was a twin i'd love to have twins or even quads and get it over with. LOL! but who knows what my body will do, what the RA will do at 40+ years. Hell i may be heading into "the change" soon, i don't know.

So with ALL of this being said, my prayers go out to families that area dealing with loss and the families of the deceased and wounded of colorado.  Welp! Time for a late night fish sammich and then I'm going nite nite!  :-)

*peace and blessings*